Skippy's been a bad GI

213 Things Skippy Schwarz is No Longer Allowed to Do in the US Army:

16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my 'Sampson like
powers'.

17. God may not contradict any of my orders.

18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous 'Barbie Girl Dance' while
on duty.

19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime,
even if I'm right.

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(Thanks, Jet!)