Russian Rapper "Ill Mitch"

Word up, comrades:

Snow's slick tongue brought them fifteen minutes of fame. Vanilla Ice dug a deep hole for all that followed in his footsteps. Eminem filled the hole and brought them their first signs of hope and respect. Ill Mitch, though, opened up a whole new world for white rappers. Next to potato vodka and mail-order brides, Ill Mitch is arguably Russia's best export. Complete with headband, sleeveless life vest, and a penchant for systematically destroying every rule of grammar in the English language, Ill is determined to be happy as a recording artist. Successful? Well, that's a different story.

Ill Mitch is badass. His debut English CD is entitled "Punch While Rap," featuring such songs as the homage to skateboarding, "Fast and Danger." In addition to "rap and ride on my skateboard," Ill loves to hit his boxing bag, to which the album title, "Punch While Rap" alludes.

Link to full text of Colorado Daily story, Link to Ill Mitch's phat website where he waxes poetic over hard beats, tossing out lines like "On full moon I ride / with boner." Discuss (Thanks, Sean) Update: should be obvious that this is a hoax. But if it's not, well, now it is.