I only wish I'd known about this AFDB variant before my axolotl's brainwaves were hijacked by the Department of Homeland Security.
Pet Foil Hat Technology (PFHT) is the sorta-patented system that protects you and your pet from the government! This ultra modern aluminum foil hat will protect your pet from the brain scanning rays of the NSA, certain 'auction' websites, fbi.com, and CIA satellites that are monitoring their little subversive thoughts. You may not have considered this before, but your lead lined hat is worthless if your pet can give away your secrets to the very people most dangerous to you – your government! The PFHT contains space age materials, and is guaranteed to work for your pet. All government I/O is cut off. It's like a firewall for your pet's brain.
[Also b]akes potatoes when placed around a potato in a hot oven.
