Fake, funny Craig's List roomie-wanted ad

Daniel sez, "This is a phoney apartment listing I posted on Craig's List and received many REAL replies to."
1) I have a cat so if you are allergic please don't inquire. He is a very nice cat named General Tso.

2) I keep the floors extremely clean, so clean that you can eat off of them, which is actually what I do. I have a thing about plates and utensils. I eat 2 well cooked fried eggs off of a small tile in the middle of the living room with chopsticks every evening at 7:15 PM. You cannot touch my chopsticks.

3) My mother stops by twice a week and yells at me for an hour or so and sobs about her only son being gay. I'm actually not gay I just don't date a lot. She doesn't get this. She is harmless though but may pinch your cheeks when she see's you.

7) I sometimes come home reeking of fish. Please don't ask me about this.

5) I hum a lot, sometimes for hours. It's not usually loud but if I am in the living room brushing General Tso and I'm humming, it may get to you and you would have to go into your room.

Link (Thanks, Daniel!)