Link (Thanks, sid)
"Do not fuck with us! We will make you stinky and appear to have Brillo pads attached to your body!" they shout.
All hope is lost, is it not? No. Fortunately for you, there is a force they fear.
"You are no match for my powerful happy armpit hair death ray, which I can utilize for only 8,000 yen!" cries your savior, who rides to your rescue on a white coat and sporting a porno mustache. The happy armpit hairs quickly become sad, shaking in fear at what the stranger might pull out of his pocket.
It's only a flashlight, but for some mystical reason unknown to mankind when he turns it on, then utters the words "Let's love armpit happy" the legion of armpit hairs scream in agony then disappear, living your pit smooth and sparkling clean.