Kindle
English as She is Spoke (1883) is the worst English phrasebook ever produced. Its author, a Portuguese speaker, did not speak English. Rather, he took the a French-English phrasebook and a Portuguese-French phrasebook and translated the former using the latter.
With a hair dresser.Link (Thanks, KnowAngel!)Your razors, are them well?
Yes, Sir.
Comb-me quickly; don't put me so much pomatum. What news tell me? all hairs dresser are newsmonger.
Sir, I have no heared any thing.
I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.