Guy mistakes porn DVD sounds for victim, appears with sword

Dude in Wisconsin hears woman shrieking for help in apartment upstairs. Said dude rushes upstairs, wielding an antique sword, kicks down the door to save the damsel in distress, and discovers another dude sitting alone, watching a porn DVD. Link. (Thanks, Chris). Image: Dude. (James Van Iveren, erstwhile swordsman, now charged with three criminal counts.)

Update: These guys came up with a far better headline than I: "Man Choking Chicken Nearly Stricken." (Thanks, Frank)