Wide variety of freaks running for US president

At MTV.com, my old pal Gil Kaufman surveys the unusual, eccentric, underdog, and truly independent characters running for president of the United States in 2008. You can't tell the players without a program! From MTV.com, here are profiles of a few:

Impalersharkey
Jonathon Albert "The Impaler" Sharkey (seen here, photo from Project Vote Smart) – 43, Satanist/pagan who is the founder, national chair and commanding general in the 1st Vampyre, Witches, Pagans Party Regiment (2006-present); former U.S. Army soldier; former board member of Hillborough, New Jersey's County Executive Republican Committee; dark priest/ advisor to the Church of the Followers of Lucifer; founder and national chair of Vampyres, Witches, Pagans Against Impaired Driving (2005-present). As an ordained Satanic dark priest, vows to perform same-sex marriages at White House at least once a month and to only impale criminals and terrorists, not law-abiding American citizens.

Gene Amondson – 64, running for the second time for the Prohibition party, Amondson has spent the past 20 years dressing up as the Grim Reaper with a whiskey bottle in one hand and a scythe in the other to preach the ills of liquor. Also a wood carver, oil painter, pie baker, children's book author and professional impersonator of 1900s evangelical anti-booze preacher Billy Sunday…

Jackson Kirk Grimes – 56, a single pagan with a GED who once portrayed Hitler on "Star Trek," this director of the United Fascist Union (which promotes the economic theories and political ideologies of Benito Mussolini and Saddam Hussein) and two-time presidential candidate promises to abolish paper money and create a global government if elected…
Yaphet Kotto – 67, Yes, that Yaphet Kotto, the actor best known for playing a no-BS federal agent chasing Robert De Niro in "Midnight Run" and appearing in such films as "Brubaker," "Alien," "The Puppet Masters" and "Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare." The Web site for his exploratory committee lists as its main goal the popularizing of "vibration politics," which seeks harmony among all men and planets…

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