Paul Krassner's "Assholes of the Week #7"

(UPDATE: Paul Krassner says: Re: my Assholes of the Week #7 blog -- I now add myself to one of them because I criticized General Wesley Clark for his silence about Pentagon plans to invade six other countries after Iraq, when in fact he did indeed speak out repeatedly.)

Realist publisher and Yippies founder Paul Krassner writes a weekly column, called "Assholes of the Week." This recent edition, no. 7, targets Senator Larry Craig, Mitt Romney, John Kerry, and Wesley Clark. Why Clark? Because he knew the war on Iraq was bogus in 2001 and didn't say anything about it until recently:

200705041830General Wesley Clark, for waiting until recently to reveal to Amy Goodman on “Democracy Now” the following: “About ten days after 9/11, I went through the Pentagon and I saw Secretary Rumsfeld and Deputy Secretary Wolfowitz. I went downstairs just to say hello to some of the people on the Joint Staff who used to work for me, and one of the generals called me in. He said, ‘Sir, you’ve got to come in and talk to me a second.’ I said, ‘Well, you’re too busy.’ He said, ‘No, no.’ He says, ‘We’ve made the decision we’re going to war with Iraq.’ This was on or about the 20th of September. I said, ‘We’re going to war with Iraq? Why?’ He said, ‘I don’t know.’ He said, ‘I guess they don’t know what else to do.’ So I said, ‘Well, did they find some information connecting Saddam to al Qaeda?’ He said, ‘No, no.’ He says, ‘There’s nothing new that way. They just made the decision to go to war with Iraq.’ He said, ‘I guess it’s like we don’t know what to do about terrorists, but we’ve got a good military and we can take down governments.’ And he said, ‘I guess if the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem has to look like a nail.’ So I came back to see him a few weeks later, and by that time we were bombing in Afghanistan. I said, ‘Are we still going to war with Iraq?’ And he said, ‘Oh, it’s worse than that.’ He reached over on his desk. He picked up a piece of paper. And he said, ‘I just got this from upstairs’--meaning the Secretary of Defense’s office--“today.” And he said, ‘This is a memo that describes how we’re going to take out seven countries in five years, starting with Iraq, and then Syria, Lebanon, Libya, Somalia, Sudan and, finishing off, Iran.’ I said, ‘Is it classified?’ He said, ‘Yes, sir.’ I said, ‘Well, don’t show it to me.’ And I saw him a year or so ago, and I said, ‘You remember that?’ He said, ‘Sir, I didn’t show you that memo! I didn’t show it to you!’”

Previously on Boing Boing:
Paul Krassner profiled
Paul Krassner on Supremes' "Bong hits 4 Jesus ruling"
Boing Boing interviews Paul Krassner
The Sopranos Meet The Hippies by Paul Krassner
Paul Krassner on RU Sirius Show
Paul Krassner on Secret Bullshit
Paul Krassner on the parts they left out of the Abbie Hoffman movie
Realist archive project