Paul Krassner's "Assholes of the Week #7"

(UPDATE: Paul Krassner says: Re: my Assholes of the Week #7 blog -- I now add myself to one of them because I criticized General Wesley Clark for his silence about Pentagon plans to invade six other countries after Iraq, when in fact he did indeed speak out repeatedly.)

Realist publisher and Yippies founder Paul Krassner writes a weekly column, called "Assholes of the Week." This recent edition, no. 7, targets Senator Larry Craig, Mitt Romney, John Kerry, and Wesley Clark. Why Clark? Because he knew the war on Iraq was bogus in 2001 and didn't say anything about it until recently:

200705041830General Wesley Clark, for waiting until recently to reveal to Amy Goodman on “Democracy Now” the following: “About ten days after 9/11, I went through the Pentagon and I saw Secretary Rumsfeld and Deputy Secretary Wolfowitz. I went downstairs just to say hello to some of the people on the Joint Staff who used to work for me, and one of the generals called me in. He said, ‘Sir, you’ve got to come in and talk to me a second.’ I said, ‘Well, you’re too busy.’ He said, ‘No, no.’ He says, ‘We’ve made the decision we’re going to war with Iraq.’ This was on or about the 20th of September. I said, ‘We’re going to war with Iraq? Why?’ He said, ‘I don’t know.’ He said, ‘I guess they don’t know what else to do.’ So I said, ‘Well, did they find some information connecting Saddam to al Qaeda?’ He said, ‘No, no.’ He says, ‘There’s nothing new that way. They just made the decision to go to war with Iraq.’ He said, ‘I guess it’s like we don’t know what to do about terrorists, but we’ve got a good military and we can take down governments.’ And he said, ‘I guess if the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem has to look like a nail.’ So I came back to see him a few weeks later, and by that time we were bombing in Afghanistan. I said, ‘Are we still going to war with Iraq?’ And he said, ‘Oh, it’s worse than that.’ He reached over on his desk. He picked up a piece of paper. And he said, ‘I just got this from upstairs’--meaning the Secretary of Defense’s office--“today.” And he said, ‘This is a memo that describes how we’re going to take out seven countries in five years, starting with Iraq, and then Syria, Lebanon, Libya, Somalia, Sudan and, finishing off, Iran.’ I said, ‘Is it classified?’ He said, ‘Yes, sir.’ I said, ‘Well, don’t show it to me.’ And I saw him a year or so ago, and I said, ‘You remember that?’ He said, ‘Sir, I didn’t show you that memo! I didn’t show it to you!’”

Previously on Boing Boing:
Paul Krassner profiled
Paul Krassner on Supremes' "Bong hits 4 Jesus ruling"
Boing Boing interviews Paul Krassner
The Sopranos Meet The Hippies by Paul Krassner
Paul Krassner on RU Sirius Show
Paul Krassner on Secret Bullshit
Paul Krassner on the parts they left out of the Abbie Hoffman movie
Realist archive project


  1. Pl Krssnr nds t gt t bt mr. Ws Clrk hs bn tllng tht stry bt hw Rmfld t. l. ws ntnt n nvdng rq rght ftr 9/11 fr yrs nw. Hr’s < hrf="http://www.pbs.rg/nwshr/bb/pltcs/jn-jn04/clrk_bg_01-15.html"> trnscrpt f hm n th Nwshr bck n Jnry f 2004 tllng th sm stry, nd t ws ld stry vn thn.

    Tryng t bsh gy tht’s bn spkng t gnst th wr frm dy n, s nt spkng t gnst th wr rly ngh? Nw tht’s bng n sshl.

  2. Coaxial is correct he’s been talking about it since 2002 and he testified (though the archived video is now out of date on CSPAN) before the senate on 9/23/2002 and said we should not go into Iraq. Who’s the asshole? [Problems with yoru sign in -said I successfully created an account then couldn’t log on.] BP Cross

  3. And it should never be forget the shameful role of General Clark during the NATO-led unilateral bombing of civilian targets in Serbia, 1999.

    Hundreds of plainly civilian objects were bombed even hundreds of miles away from the regions where actual fighting took place. The outcome were thousands of civilian casualities and hundreds of thousands of refugees – on both Albanian and Serbian sides.

    Should I add that as a result, even today, some 200.000 of Serbian refugees didn’t come back to their homes!

  4. What Coaxial said. I’m certain I’ve heard a variant of this story from Clark during his candidacy…maybe before.

  5. Clark published the same thing in his book Winning Modern Wars in 2003 and talked about it often during his Presidential campaign.
    Want to verify it?

    Go to (google books) and type in “draining the swamp” look on page 130.

    Posting this just makes Paul Krassner look singularly uninformed, he should offer an apology to General Clark and explain why he didn’t listen in 2003.

  6. Krasser has lost his touch with reality. Before you label someone, know the facts!!!! Clark has been talking about his visit to the Pentagon for years. Krasser,just like you lash out at individuals, it is time to look at one’s self.

  7. Of course you’ve heard variants, because Clark keeps changing the story…this is just like the supposed call he received after 9/11 urging him to blame the attacks on Iraq that he was then forced to backpedal on.

    When he first told the story it was just that there was this memo that called for invading these countries that someone else told him about. Then in his 2003 book he claims that a “military staff officer” described the overall plan for him in November 2001. Now, the new version is that it’s a general just days after 9/11.

    Clark seems to have a very Bush-ian notion of truth.

  8. Why would I be disemvowelled? I rightful criticised Paul Krassner for being woefully ignorant of the facts, provided counter evidence, and then Paul Krassner issued a retraction because he agreed that he was wrong.


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