911 call for beer


14 Responses to “911 call for beer”

  1. NoneSuch says:

    More likely they found him so drunk that they took him to the hospital for alcohol poisoning.

    Hospitals can’t release someone’s medical condition. I’m not sure if the police are allowed to, either (but then, they aren’t doctors, so I’m not sure if it would count anyway).

  2. Flying Squid says:

    Well hey, he was obviously too drunk to get the beer himself. I call party foul on the emergency services.

  3. Banky Edwards says:

    Ah, Hebron – my hometown. Way to represent, guys! (I don’t know this guy, and he’s almost exactly my age, so he must not be a native. I’ll be he came from Colchester!)

  4. devophill says:

    I’m guessing he was suffering from numerous baton-shaped injuries that mysteriously appeared on his body.

  5. youaregettingsleepy says:

    Reminds me of the lady who called 911 trying to get a date with some cop she was attracted to.

  6. gretagretchen says:

    He was being very responsible not driving out for the beer but having the beer brought to him. 911 is for emergencies after all!

  7. MB says:


    (Doing this in college might have made him a legend. 35? Not so much.)

  8. Wingo says:

    Reminds me of the lady who called 911 trying to get a date with some cop she was attracted to.

    Or the lady who called 911 because Burger King didn’t make her Western Burger properly:


  9. Islington says:

    This is so Homer Simpson.

  10. Steven E. McDonald says:

    It’s obviously Aaron Stack under a pseudonym, and they took him to the hospital for a tune-up and to properly refill his robot brain with beer.

  11. DelicateFlower says:

    Considering the fact thatyou can’t buy beer on a Sunday in Connecticut, he really didn’t have any other choice, did he?

  12. bzishi says:

    The only crime here is that the man had to go the night without a beer. Does anybody really want to live in a world where you can’t call 911 to get a beer delivered right away? I sure don’t.

  13. ashabot says:

    Reminds me of a story I once read in the paper about a guy who was holding up a gas station but was so drunk the employees didn’t take him seriously. They wouldn’t give him the money, so he called the cops and demanded they come and arrest the employees. You can guess who spent the night in jail.

  14. License Farm says:

    he was taken to a hospital but police did not say what was wrong with him.

    In my professional opinion, I’d diagnose him with lethal idiocy with related kidney damage.

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