Onion-chopping goggles

Scott Beale of Laughing Squid spotted these handsome goggles designed to protect your eyes when cutting onions. One reviewer on Amazon reports that they're useful for, er, other purposes too:
 Images I 31Zttmyd0Hl. Aa250 I bought these to watch TV. My ceiling fan dries my eyes out really badly and with summer coming, I was looking for a solution. I found these and thought that if they keep onion gas out, they should keep the fan air away. They work well for this and I could see how they would be great for the intended purpose.
Link to Laughing Squid, Link to buy on Amazon

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  1. I’m sure these goggles, though attractive, will do nothing to stop you from crying while chopping onions. Onion tears are caused by breathing the fumes up your nose.

  2. Wow! I hope Santa brings me these for Christmas! They will be great for those of us lucky enough to enjoy time with ejaculatory females. I suppose they would work for males too, but,….ewwwwww! :)

  3. I finally resorted to buying a pair of swim goggles, which really work but aren’t so comfortable, tend to fog up and are goofy looking.

    The blurb on the display addresses comfort and fogging, I guess the goofy thing is a matter of opinion. Perhaps I’ll ask for a pair for Christmas.

  4. it seems improbable, but contact lenses work very well at keeping the onion fumes from bringing the tears.

  5. Having spent many years chopping onions for a living (never did make chef)I found that the biggest reason for tears is a dull knife.

  6. If you’re watching so much TV that you need to wear protective clothing then it is time to get off the couch.

  7. 1. Y cn’t ct sngl nn nd sffr th mnscl cnsqncs f try ys??? Wht srt f ssss hv w rsd hr?

    2. f wtchng tv drs yr ys, trn t ff.

    BB’s bssn wth mdcr krp mks nflght ctlgs lk lk nmn mrcs.

  8. I have a pair of these in the kitchen and *love* them. With some onions, my eyes sting and water so badly that I can’t open them enough to see what I’m doing. I’ve tried all sorts of suggestions: hold a piece of bread in the mouth (doesn’t help me), freeze the onion (too impatient), keep the knife wet (no help), etc.

    A concerned friend sent them to me and I keep them in the root vegetable basket. They work like a charm on onions, shallots, the works.

    Ze goggles! Zey do somesing!

  9. “Honestly, I bought the glasses for riding on my husbands motorcycle at night, and they work great keeping the wind out of my eyes.”

    Umm maybe you should wear a helmet. And I’m not talking about one of those useless clamshells, but an actual helmet.

  10. Leave the root end of your onion unchopped and you won’t have nearly as many tears, due to most of the enzymes that release the sulfur compounds being in that end. If that doesn’t leave enough onion for whatever you’re going to use it for… chop two, they’re cheap.

  11. A free and simple way to reduce onion fumes?

    Just sit down when chopping ’em.

    The fumes tend to rise vertically from the chopped onion, so if you’re seated, they’re at arms length and therefore more likely to avoid your face than if you were standing over them.

    Well it works for me…

  12. Yazoo:

    Settle down. This is a humor piece and obviously you have no sense of humor. Perhaps you should try watching more TV, especially sitcoms. You can’t be an elitist, because elitists wouldn’t bother replying to blogs. Perhaps you are just a miserable old coot that likes to hide behind the Internet to voice completely obtuse comments.

    My $.02

  13. @Zolastic: Very cool idea!

    @Gilbert Wham: Sulfurous vapor from the onions combines with water on the surface of the eyes to form sulfuric acid, which causes the tears. Breathing through the mouth won’t do it.

    My solution: turn on the range’s fan and cut on the range. It sucks the fumes out of the kitchen and into the outside, where presumably mice and ants can now enjoy teary eyes.

  14. Oh come on folks. Am I the only one here to see the obvious use for these????

    1. Buy goggles.
    2. Obtain red-cape.
    3. Climb to high-altitude balloon.
    4. BLOG!!!!!!!!!

    Duh.

    -abs

  15. The best onion-tear reducing trick I know is to hold an unlit match in between your teeth, with the igniting end under your nose. It works really well.

    Personally, I like onion tears. My eyes always feel so much more lubricated afterwards.

    I wouldn’t recommend buying two onion so you can throw away the bottom halves just because they have a few more enzymes — it may work, but that is just ridiculously wasteful.

  16. Obviously finding a pair of goggles online takes far less effort and thought than just, erm, turning off the ceiling fan.

    I’m just sayin’….

  17. Been using swimming goggles for years to cut onions and grate horse radish. A lifesaver, especially for the horse radish, which takes some time. My wife and I take a picture of each other every year grating several horse radish roots, because we look like refugees from a cyberpunk riot.

  18. A glass of water next to the onion(s) also seems to help reduce the burn. I have no idea why, but perhaps the answer lies in post #23.

    There’s that damn 23 again….

  19. @EH

    Running water does help, but if you keep the onion completely submerged in water – voila! No tears.

  20. . . .spotted these in Alameda Ace(amazing store)right before Burning Man this year, and, you guessed it, they worked amazingly well! We needed them this year, and unlike goggles, they fit in most any pocket.

    Meanwhile, i still chop onions the old fashioned way with little problems, and i love onions!

    aoxomoxoa

  21. On the off-chance that the reviewer from Amazon reads boingboing (who doesn’t?):

    Unusually dry eyes can be a symptom of various autoimmune/rheumatoid medical conditions (e.g. Sjogren’s syndrome, SLE, diabetes).

    If you have any other unexplained symptoms such as a rash, arthritis or increasing thirst it might be worth seeking a medical opinion.

  22. The perfect fashion accessory for the vapors at Burning Man! But for me, a sharp edge on the blade keeps tears away.
    I love them onions.\\\\ ////// Slice em, dice em, sauteed until translucent. A gift from the Gods.

  23. You can chop tons of onions with out a single tear if you do it under the fume extractor over your stove.
    No need for goggles (unless you are going for the Cory Doctorow on a balloon look).

    Alejandro

  24. For the record, I’ve had these for over a year and they work handsomely, for onions, garlic and shallots.

    My 3 yr old calls them my Batman glasses.

    I will say, they don’t work as well for my wife because they don’t form a hermetic seal as well around her face. But they work wonders for me.

  25. I have to agree with Yazoo on this one. Unless you’re chopping onions all day long, those things are silly and you should just buck up for a minute. BB does border precariously on hipster-doofus status with it’s love of some pretty inane things, this from a person who reads it every day for its lighthearted fun.

  26. No.

    All you commenters who are saying these goggles are worthless, and that onion fumes aren’t that big a problem? What you’re really saying is that onion fumes aren’t a problem for you, and consequently you don’t need these goggles.

    Do you imagine that the people here who say the goggles are a real help to them are lying? They sure don’t sound like it to me. I think you’re doing them an injustice.

    For the record, I have no problem chopping onions. But while I’m tearlessly chopping them in the kitchen, my husband two rooms away will sometimes experience significant pain, tear up, and have to go outside or take refuge in the basement until the house airs out.

    That’s not just a matter of toughing it out, or using a sharper knife, or sitting rather than standing. Onion fumes are an irritant, and individuals have highly variable reactions to them.

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