Flowcharts: gangsta life is quantifiable

This collection of flowcharts related to thug life is not new, but in it you may find science which has previously been dropped upon you. Link. (thanks, Clayton Cubitt)


  1. I saw this a few days ago– the epic Venn diagram that isn’t entirely about thug life is epic (I particularly enjoyed the intersection of “Hey” and “listen.”)

  2. I think you’d have to amortize that well-being across lifespan to get the true Quality Of Life indicator: “well-being man-year” units.

    I think the lawyer would win. Lawyers tend to live a lot longer than gangstas, and can be pretty damn happy (especially if their clients are Mac Daddy Gangstas who are always in trouble and possess mad scrilla units.)

    – Michael W. Dean

  3. Cool stuff, but this guy’s ripping at least one of these diagrams off without credit. Namely “Fig. 4-A: Unified Bitch Theory” (found about a quarter of the way down the page) which comes from Chris Sim’s infamous geek blog, The Invincible Super Blog. You’ve even linked to his post with the stolen diagram before here.

  4. Have to disagree about Lawyers being the happiest:

    1) Everybody hates us
    2) The people that don’t hate us only need us temporarily then they can go back to hating us
    3) We don’t make half the money people think we make
    4) Our jobs suck because of the long hours, mostly boring content, and because everybody else at our workplaces are dicks (because they’re lawyers too)
    5) We have school loans the greater than the third mortgages on our homes
    6) One DUI, assault charge, marijuana possession or anything like that costs us our license to practice law, and thus our livelihood.
    7) We’re too old to have kids by the time we get done with law school (to which everybody cheers – democracy 0 idiocracy 1)
    8) We get blamed for EVERYTHING
    9) We have to eat shit and smile from clients
    10) All the good lawyer jobs (like EFF lawyer, Space lawyer, Human Rights lawyer) make even less money than the crappy lawyer jobs
    11) If you’re first name isn’t George and your last name isn’t Bush then getting a job in the legal industry is the 3rd most humiliating experience known to humanity
    12) We talk too much leading to bloated egos which keep us up at night – so no sleep

    LOL, I’m sorry, I could go on, but I think it’s clear by this point that the guilt free depravity of gangsta life is WAY better than being a lawyer. Being a lawyer is for people who hate themselves (now where’s my damn bottle?)

  5. Though I may not be a gangsta, I am fluent in the dialect and grammer employed by them.

    Based on contextual clues, I do believe the sentence should, in fact, read as such:

    “This collection of flowcharts related to thug life is not new, but in it you may find science which has not previously been dropped upon you.”

    That be all.

  6. There’s a chapter in Freakonomics about gangsters and thug life: Iz not so graet, aktualy. Like with many other things in life, it’s only good if you’re on top: being one of the street minions is not only extremely dangerous, but you can make more money working at Hardee’s or other fast-food emporium of your choice. Now, the life of a librarian on the other hand… schweet!

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