Sensationalist London newspaper headline

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13 Responses to “Sensationalist London newspaper headline”

  1. Kieran O'Neill says:

    Lol – The “Squirrels on Crack” story has an interesting background. Apparently it was first posted on a slightly subversive Brixton community website, and found by the chief reporter at South London Press, who afterwards was “happy to admit it’s an exaggeration of the truth”.

    *sigh* I guess it does say something about the quality of the journalism in the UK.

  2. Antinous says:

    For slow-news-day headlines, it’s hard to beat this front pager from Mainichi (Japan’s biggest paper) online.

    New Year’s postcards mistakenly delivered 3 days early in Takamatsu

    TAKAMATSU — More than 100 postcards that were supposed to be delivered on New Year’s Day arrived on Saturday at a residence here after a postal service company got the address mixed up, it has been learned.

    The New Year’s postcards were reportedly delivered to the home in Takamatsu on Dec. 29 instead of Jan. 1 when the company confused the home with another residence in the city that had requested early delivery. Officials said the cards were accidentally delivered by a worker in charge of collection and delivery.

    The Shikoku Branch of Japan Post Service Co. said that it is possible to have New Year’s postcards delivered early if an advance request is made.

  3. TYR says:

    I remember one Hackney Gazette front page that had the following headlines: RIOT AFTER SHOOTING/COPS BATTLE GANG IN TURF WAR/GIRL’S HORROR STABBING, and a teaser for a competition next to the masthead: WIN A FRIDGE FULL OF LAGER!

    My favourite Standard one was POISON CLOUDS HIT TONIGHT, after the Buncefield oil depot fire. Needless to say, nobody was poisoned by clouds hitting anything, but it did give a sort of classic British sci-fi, John Wyndham feel to the evening.

  4. musicman says:

    I think it was Sydney’s Daily Telegraph that once had the doozy “MENTAL HOME NUDE SHOCK”.

  5. Peter Gasston says:

    My local paper, the South London Press, is also pretty good for shocking headlines:

    http://www.flickr.com/groups/southlondonpress/pool/

    My favourite is SQUIRRELS ON CRACK.

    The Evening Standard is also a winner:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/tags/eveningstandard/

    THAMES FLOODS: PREPARE TO FLEE

    Needless to say, it has not flooded yet.

  6. pepsi_max2k says:

    meh, it’ll never beat the sign headline i saw while at uni in aberystwyth, wales…

    “National Library Thief Jailed”

    my god, it really is the safest town in the UK if that’s the best they could do :o)

  7. Raj77 says:

    My favourite Aberystwyth headline is still “Local Woman Dies”, from this summer. In which a local woman, late middle-aged, unremarkable in any way, died of natural causes. Brilliant. ‘Course, the year before, in the Aberaeron paper (tiny tiny village) we had “INSIDE A WEST WALES CRACK DEN”. That was pretty good.

  8. hassan-i-sabbah says:

    The Aberdeen press and journal had the headline a few years ago “RETIRED STONEHAVEN FARMER DIES!”
    Then again this esteemed rag reported the Titanic disaster with the distinctly non sensational
    “LOCAL MAN LOST AT SEA”.

  9. Klunko says:

    My favorite was a Hackney Gazette headline that read “CRACK ADDICT DWARF BATTERED” I took a picture of it but can’t seem to find it…

  10. Patrick Dodds says:

    The risible London Evening Standard is well known for this sort of rubbish. I loved THAMES FLOODS: PREPARE TO FLEE, as mentioned by Peter above. To create your own headline, try visiting here: http://www.fandmpublications.co.uk/pages/EveningStandardHeadlineMaker.htm

  11. Simon Bradshaw says:

    mentally explaining away the eerie similarity in handwriting by inventing an exhaustive newsagent’s training program

    On the evidence of market stalls and greengrocers up and down the UK, I’ve long assumed that there is in fact a secret training scheme for teaching that very distinctive style of lettering used for price signs on fruit and vegetable stalls*, plus a compulsory course on the Misuse of the Apostrophe (“Carrot’s 50p a lb”).

    (*It’s this odd hand-drawn font where the ‘holes’ in numbers such as 0, 6 and 9 are drawn as narrow vertical slots between heavily over-inked verticals. Actually, it seems to be dying out now that inkjet printers are so cheap, but the misplaced apostrophe is going from strength to strength.)

  12. stevew says:

    For those far from home:
    The London Evening Standard Headline Generator http://thesurrealist.co.uk/standard.php

    Random collages made out of lines from Evening Standard Headlines. Not as much fun as the real thing, but gives us a flavor here in the US.

  13. Nelson.C says:

    I’m usually oblivious to the local newspaper headlines here in Cheltenham, but this one gave me a serious WTF moment a while ago. Badgers dug up my husband’s grave.

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