Old ad suggests caffeine triggers child abuse

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12 Responses to “Old ad suggests caffeine triggers child abuse”

  1. Chris says:

    Does anyone else get taken immediately to an ad at Bedazzled as of late? Does anyone else find that annoying as shiat?

  2. Lileks says:

    Stefan (#4) is right – the ads featured a Postum-pusher known as “Mr. Coffee Nerves,” and he looked like some sort of jet-age Snidley Whiplash. He actually did say “Curses, foiled again,” too. He’s greatly missed.

  3. absolutetrust says:

    The sentiment of the ad rings true to my experience.

    After 15 years of a twice a day coffee habit I gave up caffeine two months ago, and I haven’t missed it. I wasn’t beating the kids, I was just a prick.

    It’s an unpopular view, but for some people caffeine is a much stronger drug than we’d like to admit.

    I was suffering from anxiety. Just stupid terror that made me feel like life sucked. And to illustrate just how stupid I am, I’ve known for years that coffee tweaks my head in an unpleasant direction. But I didn’t connect that it was coloring my ENTIRE life experience. For the past two months I’ve been calm and focused and feeling strong.

    My brother is going through anxiety hell these days. His psychiatrist has him on antideps and antianxiety meds. His psychiatrist encourages him to drink lots of coffee to help with the sedating effects of the drugs. Hah! Drink coffee, get anxious, take drugs to combat anxiety, drink more coffee. But of course, I’m no psychiatrist, so I obviously know nothing.

    So exciting to see what kind of positive impact the global spread of Starbucks culture will bring to humanity! More terror! More war! As long as it doesn’t impinge on our right to bear french presses it’s fine with me.

  4. anthropomorphictoast says:

    Nevermind that little Billy’s father also drinks Martinis, and lots of them!

    @ #6: Dude, chillax. It’s coffee, not Meth. O_o

  5. dancentury says:

    In all honesty I’ve thrown my PC monitor against a wall after drinking too much coffee. I can’t handle the high.

  6. Anonymous says:

    From the time when Sanka was decaffeinated by way of brine and benzene.

  7. paddysat says:

    That’s funny…I always thought that it was decaf coffee that led to child beatings.

  8. Halloween Jack says:

    I blame the internet for the fact that, when I saw that illustration–kid in a cowboy outfit with a pillow strapped to his butt–I thought to myself, “Not another damn fetish that I didn’t want to know about…”

  9. Stefan Jones says:

    Somewhere on Lilek’s site are a series of cartoon-style adverts for a coffee substitute. Each strip shows an invisible, jet-pack-wearing demon tempting people into drinking too much coffee, turning them into short-tempered bastards.

    After they switch to Postum (or whatever) and patch up their personal lives he flies off with a “curses, foiled again!” type exit line.

  10. License Farm says:

    As dubious as the claim is, it’s refreshing that an ad of the period would paint child abuse as anything but acceptable. I guess the modern equivalent would be a tagline, “SANKA: Calm the fuck down, jagoff.” Man, do I want to see that ad.

  11. Evil Jim says:

    He’s mentioned a couple times in other comments but no one yet has linked us to Mr. Coffee Nerves! . . . Until now.

  12. devophill says:

    Hey, it’s Lileks! “And he never commented again…”

    Also, “Sanka: Calm the fuck down, jagoff.” needs to be on a t-shirt. But it never will…

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