Wiener poopie ransom note for Jesus

Jean Mansel of Kent County, Michigan called the news media last month after an 80-pound cement Jesus statue was swiped from her front yard and a ransom note left in her mailbox. The ransom note read, "We are holding Jesus ransom until you clean up the poopie from your wieners and trust us we see you take your wieners for long walks without picking up their poopie in our yards. This has upset us dearly so please clean up all the weiner poopie, if you want to see Jesus unharmed. Sincerely, Lindy Lane Residents." The story was featured on CNN. The statue has since been returned. Apparently, it was not taken by a neighbor, but rather a family member. From WZZM13:

"It has to be a young person because they put these lines around Jesus, no adult is going to waste their time doing that," (Mansel said before the statue was returned). "And referring to weiner poopie…my gosh."

Jean has four wiener dogs and admits there was a complaint last year about their leavings. But she says she's cleaned up every pile since.

"I take my dogs for walks; I carry a plastic bag with me and pick up anything that they do. I thought something like that would be safe in our yard, it wasn't, it wasn't."

Link to YouTube video, Link to WZZM13 article (Thanks, Naomi Pescovitz!)

• [devophill]

  #29- would a tardis fit inside another tardis? Yes. Unquestionably so.

• [Takuan]

  No, certainly not. One would be bigger than the other.

• [ZippySpincycle]

  Needless to say, there is already a “wiener poopie” t-shirt for sale out there (no, I’m not shilling for it; darned if I’ll be bothered to cut-n-paste a URL). As memes go, this is better than “Don’t taze me, bro.”

  And I may as well get it out of my system: “All your wiener poopie are belong to us.” I feel better now.

• [strider_mt2k]

  Ha! Where’s your savior NOW?

  No, seriously.

• [noen]

  Sadly,No! covered this long ago.

• [Paul Raven]

  Good headline, though. Hunter Thompson would be proud.

• [Cpt. Tim]

  why do so many people insist we find jesus and when we actually stumble across one we don’t get to keep it?

• [satman]

  I remember reading about this. It turned out to be a family member who swiped the statue.

• [Takuan]

  why aren’t we protected from wiener poop terrorism?

• [Xeno]

  Hall of fame! Internet classic! I am going to sound bite the HELL out of this!

• [Crunchbird]

  I think there needs to be a generic headline for news agencies reporting stories like this . . . “Minor Incident Turns Out to Not Even Be Minor Incident.”

  It would be nice if there was some way to make media outlets face some consequences for all the mindless, trumped -up “human interest” crap all of the major news sources have been churning out in increasing quantities.

• [strider_mt2k]

  “It would be nice if there was some way to make media outlets face some consequences for all the mindless, trumped -up “human interest” crap all of the major news sources have been churning out in increasing quantities.”

  It’s all many have _ever_ done.

  Utilize different media outlets.

• [W. James Au]

  This is actually why Mitt Romney is dropping out of the race.

• [phlavor]

  Feigned ignorance. She’s a poopie leaver if I’ve ever seen one. I think CNN should go undercover and document her poopie leaving ways. Because, for the love of sweet cement Jesus, this is news.

• [You]

  Curb your god.

• [License Farm]

  Silly ransomer, poopie doesn’t come out your weiner!

  What? OH.

• [NE2d]

  #8:

  “It would be nice if there was some way to make [fill in the blank] face some consequences for all the [things they do of their own free will that I disapprove of]“: the mantra of the authoritarian.

  I would rather live in a world full of BS news stories than one in which people like CRUNCHBIRD have any authority to impose their will upon others.

• [David Pescovitz]

  @SATMAN (#5), As I wrote in the post, “Apparently, it was not taken by a neighbor, but rather a family member.”

• [batu b]

  “It would be nice if there was some way to make media outlets face some consequences for all the mindless, trumped -up “human interest” crap all of the major news sources have been churning out in increasing quantities.”

  Well, they do it for ratings, and the 87,000+ views this YouTube video validates their thought that this would strike a nerve. As I watched it, I thought “wow, TV news will show anything” and then I thought “wow, was the advent of really stupid local TV news just the predecessor to YouTube?”

• [Crunchbird]

  It’s funny, NE2D, I’d rather live in a world where people didn’t take moderately annoyed venting on a blog about worthless commercial products being offered by a large corporation as evidence of authoritarian tendendices . . .

• [Antinous]

  I think there needs to be a generic headline for news agencies reporting stories like this . . . “Minor Incident Turns Out to Not Even Be Minor Incident.”

  The intertubes are burning up with the story of actor Eric Dane’s grueling cancer ordeal and how his brave battle with the deadly illness has caused him to lose ten pounds. If you actually read it, his dermatologist sprayed a little liquid nitrogen on a crusty patch on his lip. Cancer Ordeal! I had six of them frozen off and two cut out last Saturday. Where’s my ten pound weight loss and article on IMDb?

• [CNTower911]

  Where can i get a “Wiener Poopie” T-shirt???

• [thordora]

  I second the “wiener poopie” t shirt need.

• [the Other michael]

  Wiener Poopie Ransom Notes for Jesus

  it’s the plural that makes the difference

  plurals. whatevers.

• [didymos]

  #18:

  You could make one yourself, but be warned, weiner poopie garments generally smell quite foul, and tend to fall apart in the wash.

• [Steaming Pile]

  Sheesh! They put any old crap on Headline News nowadays.

• [Dick Jokes]

  This reminds me of what happened in Southern Italy back in 1999, when several statues of baby Jesus were “kidnapped” from ancient churches, then the catholic bishopry receveid strange ransom notes signed “Luther Blissett”, a multi-use open name used by European artists and activists. “Luther” threatened to destroy the statues should the authorities fail to donate looots of money to the poor. I don’t know what happened in the end.
  Link to newspaper article (the English is at times clumsy)
  http://www.lutherblissett.net/archive/453_en.html
  Wikipedia entry for Luther Blissett:
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luther_Blissett_%28nom_de_plume%29

• [Jardine]

  Good thing it wasn’t a weeping angel. If those things start moving on you, you’re going to want to keep watching them or they’ll get you.

• [Jeff]

  No one should have a religious statue in their front yard! It’s such a shabby decorating affectation and it makes me cringe when I see it. This woman should be slapped with a Bad Taste Ticket. But we are talking the Land of the “Reformed” Christian.

• [Moon]

  “Luther” threatened to destroy the statues should the authorities fail to donate looots of money to the poor.

  I’m sure you were emphasizing “lots”, but somehow using Catholic “loot” tickled me. Ha! Catholic LOOT!

• [Moon]

  #12 YOU, I see that sign all the time. It also tickles me that someone long ago in the Park District or Streets and San had somebody specifically make up a sign with a schnauzer sniffing a flower.

  :D

• [frankstendal]

  #24:

  So… would a tardis fit inside another tardis? Just wondering…

• [Chocolatey Shatner]

  @ Antinous:

  Are you as hot as Eric Dane? Are you on a television show like Eric Dane? No? Then your sufferings are not as important as his to the people of this country. I care about you, though. Well, only if you’re as hot as he is… :)

• [Keneke]

  #26: Regardless of authenticity, Catholic artifacts would catch a mint.

• [Dick Jokes]

  I’m sure you were emphasizing “lots”, but somehow using Catholic “loot” tickled me. Ha! Catholic LOOT!

  Hey, you’re right! Luther wanted the real thieves to give the loot back.

• [Antinous]

  Choc,

  No, no and I already figured that one out. Pardon me while I get back to my brave battle with slightly reddened skin.

• [ill lich]

  I don’t get it, “Bong Hits For Jesus” is apparently bad, but “Wiener poopie ransom note for Jesus” is OK?

• [V]

  “Wiener Poopie Ransom Notes for Jesus” – great band name.