Toy airport security machine to help kids grow up accepting invasions into their privacy

The Scan-It is a toy airport metal-detector to help your kids train to be productive members of the panopticon police state:
This unique toy/teaching aid provides ample amounts of healthy fun along with education and awareness of the security measures that people face in real life. A fun and educational booklet is also available upon request along with other online resources at Additional projects and education on airport and public spaces security is also available at
Link (Thanks, Yanuly!)


  1. what an excellent product to teach our children about the police state they will eventually grow up to be a part of.

    I personally will concentrate on teaching my children to resist this pressure and grow up to be thinking, critical adults rather than the mindless sheep that this toy (among others – Lego “Police State” edition creators take note) will produce.

    the war on terror is bogus. airport security is security theater. it protects no-one while keeping the stupid people in fear while the cronies of this corrupt, criminal and warmongering government get rich.

  2. I’ll bet those folks who call for a ban on toy guns and other weapons will be kicking themselves now. What better use for them than to hide them in little Susie’s overnighter and then SCANIT. Come this next Holloween we’ll see lots of kids dressed up like TSA goons.

  3. Does this also come with a box of latex gloves and some lubrication?

    After all, sometimes a secondary screening is necessary, and playing “doctor” is so 20th Century.

    However, I do have to admit it’s fun watching the little ones randomly stopping each other around the house and making their siblings empty out their pockets and take off their shoes. I even bought a little terrorist outfit for my youngest, but my kids got sick of searching him so they just permanently added him to the No Play list.

  4. Why does anyone even bother flying anymore?

    And if you absolutely HAVE to fly, wouldn’t it be easier to just send all your luggage Federal Express?

  5. anthropomorphictoast, you have nailed it. This is no fun for anyone. What’s next? Wiretapping for kids?

  6. I have a question just to test the privacy issue: If we had to walk through a super-scan like the one used in Total Recall, would that be considered an invasion of our privacy? Let’s say it’s safe to use. I wouldn’t care–until the technolgoy improves to the point where our mind can be scanned and then edited! Just like “they” do in Charles Stross’s Glass House. A must read for those worried about their ultimate lack of privacy.

  7. What’s wrong with wiretapping for kids?

    You do realize we have law enforcement for a reason, don’t you? You realize the FBI does catch criminals.

  8. “Helpful Customer Review” from Amazon:

    By J. Chilton (United States)

    If you’re a parent, then you’ve probably been struggling with how to teach your kids about how much fun it is to have your rights systematically stripped from you. Kids today always seem to be whining about freedom and their “Constitutional Right” to be free of warrantless search and seizure and their “right to privacy” (whatever that is). Teaching them to be afraid of “the terrists” and explaining that Islamofascists are a monolithic, unified entity with the sole goal of destroying America because they hate us for our freedoms, so we owe to it eliminate as many freedoms as possible, is really hard. And don’t get me started on the times they say, “Daddy, you mean six ounces of liquid in one bottle can blow up a plane, but two three ounce bottles can’t??”

    Well, now there’s a toy to help change all that. Kids can become familiar with the process of search and arbitrary seizure of dangerous items like toothpaste, soda, and aftershave (or TSA). The attention to detail on this toy is great. Notice the Homeland Security Threat Level Advisory glued to the side. See how tiny green and blue are? You’ll never need them, because we live in an orange world. That’s right, the terrists are right around the corner, maybe under your bed! This will keep a constant, low-level feeling of fear instilled in your kids, just like DHS wants!

    For added fun, buy this toy with the TSA Officer Gloves McJellyfinger action figure.

  9. I personally will concentrate on teaching my children to resist this pressure and grow up to be thinking, critical adults . . .

    That’s going to be tough, given toys like this and the stupefying effects of the Every Child Left Behind Act.

  10. I fail to see how it is the removal of rights to have baggage x-rayed at the airport.

    Unless of course you believe private air travel is somehow a right?

    I’d be completely okay if a private company wanted to forego any type of security in their planes; all of you could fly with them and so would anyone who actually did want to hijack a plane.

  11. From the press release: “During her divorce proceedings in early 2000 Kathy Arena was confronted daily with having her and children’s possessions searched by the courthouse security scanner. Kathy and her young children were understandably intimidated.”

    This was not invented by a random weirdo, this was created to help kids deal with a frightening scenario which they may have to face repeatedly in stressful circumstances.

  12. Whaaaaaaa, they check my suitcase, whaaaaaa, airport security is a violation of my rights, whaaaaa. What a bunch of whiny paranoid weenies. We need more security at the airports, you don’t like being searched, easy don’t fly. If we had stronger and tighter security we wouldn’t have had 9/11. Besides this toy looks pretty boring. Don’t you have something better to do? Maybe horde your kids on a compound and teach the evils of government? Maybe complain that stop signs taking our rights away and invading on our ability to zoom through intersections without the restrictions of a police state. Whaaaaaaaa.

  13. Isn’t this basically a cardboard box with holes cut in either end.

    In other words, a roach motel for children. Human right go in, but they don’t come out.

  14. “Human rights go in, but they don’t come out”???

    It’s a security scanner. These were not invented in 2001!

    Take a step back and ask yourself how crazy you look.

  15. If we had stronger and tighter security we wouldn’t have had 9/11

    Yeah, sure ,whatever. Just keep repeating this mantra while watching Fox News or searching for WMD’s in all the wrong places:

    “Lee Harvey Oswald, acting alone, murdered President Kennedy; Lee Harvey Oswald, acting alone, murdered President Kennedy…”

    Makes life simpler, doesn’t it? And besides, this article wasn’t about the actual security, it was about making toys that acclimate kids to an environment that is decidedly un-American.

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