Uniformed volunteers patrol Tokyo streets to intimidate people hanging out

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38 Responses to “Uniformed volunteers patrol Tokyo streets to intimidate people hanging out”

  1. Takuan says:

    if the local yakuza isn’t already running it, they will be

  2. Antinous says:

    This might explain why so many body parts have been washing up on Japanese beaches lately. Everyone not immediately engaged in commerce has been driven into the sea.

  3. Stefan Jones says:

    “They bring German Shepards (also in uniform) on their patrols with them.”

    Consequences of reading through bOING bOING story summaries too quickly:

    I mentally conflated the previous story with this one, and for a moment imagined those German shepherds in a girl’s school uniform. (Would that make the dogs more or less intimidating?)

  4. Santa's Knee says:

    God, this is almost as funny as when the Guardian Angels tried to clean up the DC metro.

    Priceless.

  5. Takuan says:

    congratulations, you have just invented a brand new fetish. Copyright it quick.

  6. jacktd01 says:

    h jpn, wht grt cntry. Thr sgns r s ndrstndbl t, ths n s my prsnl fvrt.

    http://www.bty.cm/cmpttn/f576d6/fnnst-sgn-n-s/ntry/410474/my-jpns-mght-b-bttr

  7. Anselm says:

    My first thought was “only in Japan…”

    My second thought was “no, that’s not true; that could happen here in the US too…”

    My third though “…and the Phelps Klan would be running it.”

  8. Downpressor says:

    Yer welcome Jeffkw, I just calls em likes I sees em though.

  9. Antinous says:

    jacktd01

    Link asks questions.

  10. Takuan says:

    sez Down as he scrubs, scrubs, scrubs the back seat upholstery… you looking at me?”

  11. Takuan says:

    we know who ye be, Bablyon!

    Guiltiness (talkin’ ’bout guiltiness)
    Pressed on their conscience. Oh yeah.
    And they live their lives (they live their lives)
    On false pretence everyday -
    each and everyday. Yeah.

    These are the big fish
    Who always try to eat down the small fish,
    just the small fish.
    I tell you what: they would do anything
    To materialize their every wish. Oh yeah-eah-eah-eah.

    Say: Woe to the downpressors:
    They’ll eat the bread of sorrow!
    Woe to the downpressors:
    They’ll eat the bread of sad tomorrow!
    Woe to the downpressors:
    They’ll eat the bread of sorrow!
    Oh, yeah-eah! Oh, yeah-eah-eah-eah!

    Guiltiness
    Pressed on their conscience. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
    These are the big fish
    Who always try to eat down the small fish,
    just the small fish.

    I tell you what: they would do anything
    To materialize their every wish. Oh, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah.

    But: Woe to the downpressors:
    They’ll eat the bread of sorrow!
    Woe to the downpressors:
    They’ll eat the bread of sad tomorrow!
    Woe to the downpressors:
    They’ll eat the bread of sad tomorrow!
    Oh, yeah-eah! Oh yeah-e-e-e-e-e!

    Guiltiness. Oh yeah. Ah!
    They’ll eat the bread of sorrow everyday

  12. Antinous says:

    Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only commenter who doesn’t live in Edo.

  13. Takuan says:

    just the only one currently out of prison

  14. swoody says:

    hmmmm…this may lead to a new type of protest. the sit-out.

  15. minamisan says:

    @Downpressor:

    Just curious how many of the previous posters live in Tokyo and or have ever been on Center Gai in other than a Gee Wilikers tourist context? My bet is zero but of course I could be wrong.

    yep, you’re wrong. i’ve lived here for years and i’ve walked the streets of shibuya hundreds of times. it’s seedy as hell, yeah, but it still feels 50x safer than the equivalent in any western city i’ve lived in. loitering teenagers and touts don’t bother me. people who verbally or physically threaten me, bother me.

  16. Downpressor says:

    Takuan,

    Its a nickname I picked up years ago from listening to Peter Tosh constantly. Does yours refer to the pickle or the monk?

    Antinous,

    “Edo”? Are we in a time warp or something? Should I be booking a passage on a sailing ship to New Amsterdam?

  17. Takuan says:

    I am unquestionably a pickled monk – some of that voluntary

    O Fortuna O Fortune,
    velut luna like the moon
    statu variabilis, you are changeable,
    semper crescis ever waxing
    aut decrescis; and waning;
    vita detestabilis hateful life
    nunc obdurat first oppresses
    et tunc curat and then soothes
    ludo mentis aciem, as fancy takes it;
    egestatem, poverty
    potestatem and power
    dissolvit ut glaciem. it melts them like ice.

    Sors immanis Fate – monstrous
    et inanis, and empty,
    rota tu volubilis, you whirling wheel,
    status malus, you are malevolent,
    vana salus well-being is vain
    semper dissolubilis, and always fades to nothing,
    obumbrata shadowed
    et velata and veiled
    michi quoque niteris; you plague me too;
    nunc per ludum now through the game
    dorsum nudum I bring my bare back
    fero tui sceleris. to your villainy.

    Sors salutis Fate is against me
    et virtutis in health
    michi nunc contraria, and virtue,
    est affectus driven on
    et defectus and weighted down,
    semper in angaria. always enslaved.
    Hac in hora So at this hour
    sine mora without delay
    corde pulsum tangite; pluck the vibrating strings;
    quod per sortem since Fate
    sternit fortem, strikes down the string man,
    mecum omnes plangite!

  18. Antinous says:

    Believe me, my mind is in Heian-Kyo.

  19. Rob Cockerham says:

    Ways to discourage unofficial uniformed policemen:

    Become unofficial District Attorneys.

    Cheer them on with relentless cheering and enthousiastic undersized paper flag waving.

    Call the real police station and ask for them, by name. Explain that they are “ace detectives”. Refer to them as the “New, hardworking officers on the street”.

  20. Takuan says:

    suffering from a Hearn-ia?

  21. Takuan says:

    ah, I see you

    If you wanna live
    Treat me good
    If you wanna live, live
    I beg you treat me good

    I’m like a walking razor
    Don’t you watch my size
    I’m dangerous
    Said I’m dangerous
    (2X)

    If you are a bully
    Treat me good
    If you are a bully, a bully
    I beg you treat me good

    I’m like a stepping razor
    Don’t you watch my size
    I’m dangerous, dangerous
    (CHORUS)

    If you are a chucky
    Nobody chucky from me
    If you are a chucky, a chucky
    Nobody chuck from me, Yea

    CHORUS

    I’m like a chopping razor
    Don’t you watch my size
    I’m dangerous, dangerous

    If you eat asphalt
    I beg you treat me good
    If you drink lead soup
    You better treat me good

    CHORUS

    If you are bull bukka
    Nobody buk from me
    If you are duppy
    You move away from me

    CHORUS

    I’m like a stepping, walking
    I’m dangerous, dangerous

    If you wanna live
    Treat me good
    Warning you if you wanna live You better treat me good

    I’m like a stepping, walking, cutting, flicking,
    jumping,chopping, walking
    I’m dangerous(2x)
    I’m like a stepping, jumping, flicking, bumping, boring
    I’m dangerous(2x)

    If you drink mortal
    Treat me good
    And if you eat brick
    Treat me good

    I’m like a flashing laser and a rolling thunder
    I’m dangerous(2x)
    I’m like a stepping razor
    Don’t you watch my size
    I’m dangerous, dangerous

    Treat me good
    If you wanna live
    You better treat me good

    Talking: …You don’t through a fifth of the trilliation
    I go through…
    O

  22. Antinous says:

    suffering from a Hearn-ia?

    Consorting with upstart mercenaries? I think not.

  23. Downpressor says:

    @29 minamisan

    I didnt say it wasnt safe, just that its dirty and has gotten worse in the last few years. Any thoughts on that matter?

  24. EH says:

    The only solution is to dress exactly like them.

  25. Emily (daturazoku) says:

    Downpressor,

    Having spent many a night drinking on center gai (yes, even sitting on those supposed ‘feces and tampon’ strewn streets) I can say you’re over-exaggerating.

    First off, I’ve not seen ANY of the filth you’ve mentioned there any more than in any other part of Tokyo, which even then is negligible (aside from salaryman vomit).

    Even if Center Gai were a cesspool, overrun with hustlers (Wouldn’t deny that one), the SCGP don’t tackle any of those issues and are instead concerned with people smoking and loitering. Hustlers here, and you should know, don’t loiter, they prowl. Really the SCGP is out harassing young people from having a good time on the street and creating scenes that deter traffic flow. Which is a shame.

    On the other hand, I totally agree with your asessment that they’re pathetic and the video was set up. Here’s what has happened any time the SCGP or their Shinjuku equivalents (or the cops, for that matter) have come up to one of our streetside drinking parties.

    them: hey, move on. You’re creating a disturbance.
    us: fuck off!
    them: *fucks off*

    Really you only move if you don’t want to get nagged. They have no real authority and the police don’t normally want to bother with it.

  26. Takuan says:

    that would be great; a mob of wanna-be mall cop zombies all scretching at each other

  27. David Carroll says:

    Does Salvatore Rivieri know about this? If he ever gets sacked from the Baltimore PD for harassing young kids he could hook up with these guys. I don’t think a lack of Japanese will be an impediment, bellowing and choke holds are understood everywhere.

    How do the real cops feel about a bunch of yahoos roaming the streets? They must give tacit approval.

  28. Antinous says:

    Tak-kun,

    If you take a really authoritative tone in response and use the appropriately demeaning vocabulary and syntax, will they become submissive? Or does the uniform trump the social cues.

  29. minamisan says:

    we’ve found something else that crosses all national & cultural boundaries: overweight middle aged man + armband/badge/uniform + minor authority = instant bully.
    oh well. yet another reason not to go to Shibuya anymore.

  30. strumpet windsock says:

    Gotta love that huge “WELCOME” at the top of their website, too.

  31. ecobore says:

    nothing a little canister of CS gas wouldn’t stop. Essentially these old guys are are harassing people on the public street. They should be named and shamed!

  32. Takuan says:

    if you are old enough, you could credibly shout them down. Or young enough and tattooed enough. Though these days I suppose you just have to sound foreign.

  33. darrell says:

    Wow, it hasn’t happened yet so: In before “you don’t understand Japan…wah wah wah.”

    This seems pretty lame, but how is it different from any other rent-a-cop on a power trip?

  34. Mitch says:

    The cop-like guys are more annoying than
    the people hanging out.

  35. jowlsey says:

    Once again, life imitates art

  36. OM says:

    …You know, if citizens wanted to put an end to this sort of vigilantism gone awry, all they need to do is to gang about 100 of them on these twits, and they’ll back down pretty damn quick. A previous comment about the Guardian Angels’ flopping in DC is a prime example. Kung Fu doesn’t block bullets, and when it’s five GAs vs. 100 Bloods, Crips and/or Registered Democrats, you gan guess which side is more apt to go home with a tag around their toe.

  37. Downpressor says:

    Just curious how many of the previous posters live in Tokyo and or have ever been on Center Gai in other than a Gee Wilikers tourist context? My bet is zero but of course I could be wrong.

    As with most Japanese TV of this sort, things are being hammed up for the camera crews and some parts are clearly setups. I’ve seen some SCGP activity and it didnt look like that. No these guys arent polite, but they are in fact more polite than alot of the scouts(1), restaurant toffs, drug dealers or kids wallowing in their own piss and filth(2) which otherwise inhabit Center Gai.

    Considering how foul Center Gai has become I’m not surprised at all that the SCGP arose to begin with. No one expects Center Gai to be like Daikanyama, but it really has gotten to the point where some response is needed.

    (1) Recruiters for “dating services”, soaplands, “fashion health salons” (blowjob shops), etc.

    (2) Center Gai is pretty much the urinal and vomitorium of Shibuya. As for filth, its becoming more common to find human feces and used sanitary napkins/tampons on the side streets in the last year or so above and beyond the usual garbage.

  38. JeffKw says:

    Thanks for the insight, Down “Travis Bickle” Pressor!

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