Crocodile jumps at annoying man trying to pose for photo

A tourist in Australia's Northern Territory teasing a crocodile beside his boat annoyed the animal so much that it jumped out of the water at him. The man escaped. From The Telegraph:

"I began playing with it for a photo,'' Mr Mashiah said. "I was pointing at it when it suddenly jumped up at me - I didn't realise that crocs were so aggressive.''

The "saltie" – which experts believe probably approached the boat in search of a free feed of fish – propelled itself out of the water with terrifying speed. After narrowly missing its prey, it smashed into the side of the small metal boat before plunging back into the water.

Link (Thanks, Paul Saffo!)

• [AliasUndercover]

  Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Gator

• [Teresa Nielsen Hayden / Moderator]

  I think he’s demonstrating belated good sense in the photo. It’s better than the story a few years back about Australian tourist boat excursions out to where great white sharks were slowly tearing apart the floating carcass of a whale. The sharks were so intent on their task that tourists could reach out and touch them — and did. Fortunately, the authorities put a stop to it before natural selection kicked in.

  And it’s far better than the footage one guy took of a waterspout coming toward him across a lake, where you can hear everyone around him begging him to stop filming and take shelter inside the cabin. He goes o shooting until the last moment, then panics and dives for the cabin with the camera still running. That’s why you get to see the windows blow out as the tornado hits the cabin.

  They all survived, but I figure that footage is good for decades of “I told you so” from his family members.

• [Takuan]

  lolgators? I can haz ijit?

• [Takuan]

  whatever happened to that footage of a man being snapped in half by a gator as he stood in a boat?

• [globule23]

  Thanks TAKUAN, lolgators!! Thats the best.
  I is up in ur tinnie eetin ur fishes.
  I can has enjins?
  Oh man, its endless. I loves me some lolX’s.

• [Chorske]

  U eated my morron frend.

• [Takuan]

  what I have done?

• [Johan Larson]

  From “How Not To Be A Moron”, J.X. Williams, 1975:

  …

  Rule 410(a): Do not taunt any predatory animal larger than your head.

  Rule 410(b): Do not taunt any wild animal larger than your torso.

  Rule 410(c): Do not taunt any living animal larger than you are.

  …

• [Duane]

  All I can think of is when Steve Irwin held his baby in one arm while feeding a crocodile with the other. Everybody yelled at him “What if it had jumped at you?” and his defense was “I know about these animals, they can’t jump like that.”

  (I realize there’s more to it than that and that Irwin was probably right that in that particular position they wouldn’t have the necessary leaping ability, and this is completely different. I’m just sayin, that’s what it made me think of.)

• [bwcbwc]

  #11: Oh yeah. With a closer like that, he would’ve been a sure candidate for a Darwin Award.

• [Avram]

  My gullet. Let me show you it.

• [Takuan]

  yeesh.

  Predators predate. That is what they are GOOD at. That IS WHY they IS. Anyone who wishes to swim with the sharks at feeding time, bait the crocs, tease the tigers, run with the bulls (well, if they are draped with lettuce) etc. is not just a dick, but an animal abuser as well. Just let them get on with living, if you wish to torture something, stick to people. Further, anyone whop thinks they “know” animals had better also “know” all the moods of the universe, so that loose stone under your foot, that branch in your eye, that flash of sunlight etc. can also be allowed for.

  What really pisses me about this kind of thing is that frequently some innocent animal is executed after the fact because of some stupid dick-cheese showing off their superior knowledge of beasts. You’re assholes. Just assholes.

• [The Lizardman]

  How many times do I have to warn you monkeys not to provoke my people?

• [Johan Larson]

  Crocs consider pointing to be very rude.

  Indeed. Instead sweep your remaining hand in the direction you wish to indicate.

• [Antinous]

  Predators predate.

  I thought that you and I predated everybody.

• [elNico]

  When I hitchhiked from Alice Springs to Darwin many years ago, we found a young freshwater croc on the road that was hit by a car, but was still alive.

  We put it on the backseat and tried to feed it some roadhouse chicken, which it refused and I can’t blame it…

  Next morning it was dead, but since I was very broke I thought I might be able to sell it to someone in Darwin for the skin (mildly aware that that should not be done at the local markets).

  Once in Darwin I confided in the owner of the backpacker I was staying in, since he seemed to be a pretty cool guy. He convincingly discouraged me to go door-knocking with my dead friend, since authorities would not be satisfied with an “I found it!” story.

  Anyway, he decided to do the right thing and call the whoever-takes-care-of-wildlife department to pick it up, but must have known they would not be rushing. He rolled it up and stuffed it in the base compartment of the communal fridge, where it remained for two and a half days…

  I honestly think he saw it as an added-value kind-off thing for staying there…(and it was an “attraction”)…I hope he’s doing great…

• [Pipenta]

  Animal abuser? I don’t see how waving your arms at a sixteen foot long crocodile as abusive.

  I think the croc felt the way you’d feel if a cookie started waving at you, and then got away before you could eat it.

• [Takuan]

  Teasing the hungry is cruel. If you don’t mean to give it your hand, don’t offer it. I’d link this great Youtube video of an idiot “trainer” losing a hand – but I’m too refined and delicate.

• [Marcelo]

  Funny how that photo is worlds better than anything he could have gotten by pointing and posing.

• [toxonix]

  HA thats great. Hey man, thats what crocs do. Sneak up on animals who get too close to the water. Like a deadly floating log of death.
  Except instead of a deer drinking at the river’s edge, we got this annoying Israeli backpacker here..

• [Antinous]

  He looks like lunch to me, too.

• [Brainspore]

  Crocs consider pointing to be very rude. Just ask Captain Hook.

• [thelibrarianne]

  #1- I agree. That would make a very, very good Facebook profile picture. I think I spend 3/4 of my life trying to get a good profile picture.

• [historyman68]

  @#32: you beat me to it. Though I was gonna say that since they’re pretty fucking closer to dinosaurs, crocs probably predate the rest of us by a while.

  @#33: that mental image of a cookie waving at me is going to stay with me for the rest of the day

• [Antinous]

  I wonder how many times this has happened out in the real world and not gone reported.

  You wonder because you haven’t seen large clear photos of the sequence of events, which is what makes it a news story.

• [Welcome to Wallyworld]

  The “small metal boat” is what’s known as a “tinnie”. And yeah…you don’t muck around with salties – they’ll go you, as this dopey Israeli found out.

• [Brainspore]

  Hmm… Slow news day today? I wonder how many times this has happened out in the real world and not gone reported. A wild and educated guess would give you 200,000 times over the course of 20 years…

  Ah, but how many of the aforementioned events result in awesome photos of dumbasses inches away from the jaws of death? It’s the image that makes it a good story, not the incident.

• [Takuan]

  do yer callit a tinnie because ya serve saltie snacks in it?

• [alisong76]

  #27 – Think about it for a minute. Crocodiles can’t jump when they’re on land, which is where Irwin was when he had the baby. They can and do use their powerful tails to propel themselves out of the water, which is what this one did here.

• [Maddy]

  it reminds me of those great 70s novelty song cut-ups, where they would interview “Mr. Jaws” and he would reply with a Carly Simon lyric “Wouldn’t you give your hand to a friend?”

  it also reminds that despite all of our superiority over most of the animal world, there are still animals that can eat us …

• [semiotix]

  It’s too bad he survived. I don’t say that to be cruel, but because “I didn’t realise crocs were so aggressive” would have been some truly stellar last words, well worth a horrible and early death.

• [Bakaness]

  #27 – Steve Irwin knew a lot about crocs (less about stingrays, I admit) – if he felt his kid was safe, then his kid was safe.

  That dimwit tourist, on the other hand, should have gotten eaten. That would have made a better news story. Except then they would have shot that poor croc. :(

  Please, if you ever visit Australia, listen to the locals when they tell you something you’re doing is stupid. If you don’t, we’ll just laugh at you while you die.

• [shortfatsteve]

  @#2 “Like a deadly floating log of death.”

  Heh. Seen a few of those “down under” in my days…

• [Takuan]

  so, has anyone actually licked a funnelweb?

• [Takuan]

  Gustav of Burundi 2,000 pounds
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-kvAl-xs7A

• [Takuan]

  so,is it true that in Australia, if you survive relations with a saltwater crocodile, you can’t be charged with bestiality?

• [Anselm]

  Ah, yes, the saltwater crocodile… one of the notoriously dangers animals of the world, right up there with lions, rhinos, cape water buffaloes, drunken and armed rednecks, and those funny little blue octopuses that can kill you in three seconds flat.

• [minTphresh]

  i think mr. saltie wanted to try some kosher…i’m just sayin.

• [Takuan]

  you forgot hippos

• [corvi42]

  This should get a runner-up in the Darwin awards.

• [winstonian]

  “I didn’t realize crocs were so aggressive.”

  …

• [doplgangr]

  like the bulls in pamplona, sometimes you just find yourself rooting for the crocodiles…