Fun straws are phallic?

Andrea Bailey of Ashland, Kentucky bought a pack of straws at Wal-Mart for her 3-year-old-daughter a couple weeks ago. The pack had a variety of shapes, including a heart, but also two that she says look like penises. Bailey was quite upset and complained to the store. Wal-Mart says it has pulled the product, manufactured by Eagle Marks Corporation, from its shelves as they investigate the matter. ("That's my hometown!" says my wife. -ed) From WSAZ.com:
Penisstraw“There are two of them that are shaped like the male private area,” said Bailey. “I called Wal-Mart and they very rude with me about it. They acted like I was lying, like I was making it all up. You know, I would never make something up like that, especially about my little girl. But, that's just how they treated me and it’s just not right.”
Link (Thanks, Gil Kaufman!)

Previously on BB:
• Ashland robber disguised face with duct tape Link

103

  1. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. And sometimes a drinking straw for kids is shaped like a rocket ship.

  2. “There are two of them that are shaped like the male private area,” said Bailey

    ??? That doesn’t look like a garage to me…

  3. This tells quite a bit more about the complainer than the producer / seller of this product.

    How is that: “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” or in this case “Dirty thoughts are in the eye of the beholder”.

  4. “…male private area.”? Someone actually used that term? Oh wait, Kentucky. Never mind.

    Seriously though- what exactly where these supposed to look like? Rocket ship is a pretty big stretch. It really doesn’t look like anything else.

  5. No time like the present to teach your daughter about the moral dangers of oral copulation, Ms. Bailey!

    … or the joys of simulated urine consumption, for that matter. If only MY parents told me about the birds and the bees with bendy straws!!!

  6. They may not be intentionally phallic, but they certainly look like dicks!

    ..especially the way the top-end leads down to curve into the left “ball”.. I am not sucking a drink through these.

    #2, funny.

  7. The funny thing to me is that the kid probably thought is was a random shape that it was fun to watch their beverage go through, and now that she freaked out they’ll see these things shaped like this and thing “penis!”.

    Somehow I doubt that’s what she was going for.

  8. You can’t have the male private area without an area around it. You can’t imagine seeing a male private area without being part of the area yourself, because if you looked at it, you would be there.

    The male private area is a product of our imagination. In reality, there is no male private area, separate from other non-male, or non-private areas. It’s all one area. To call an area male and private is to call all areas private male areas.

  9. It really doesn’t look like anything, but a bent straw. I think Ms. Bailey needs to grow up and start acting like in adult. It’s scary to think she is raising kids and overreacts like this.

  10. I agree with this Bailey chic on this one. That is pretty close. Honestly who, above the age of 10, doesn’t think this looks like junk? Red Dog beer thing, yea, thats a stretch. This is pretty bad.

  11. really? Sounds like Andrea has a dirty dirty mind. I don’t shop at walmart, nor do i support them, but I can’t believe they’re going to pull a product based on one customers mis-interpretation of a shape.

  12. “But, that’s just how they treated me and it’s just not right.”

    They are a corporation. They are incapable of treating you ‘right’ or ‘not right.’ They are simply able to do things which they think will maximize their profits in the short or long term.

    We all need to stop thinking in terms of right and wrong in our dealings with corporations, and stop getting our little feelings hurt because the corporation doesn’t validate our particular closed minded anti sex view of the world.

  13. A news director somewhere had to decide that it wasn’t appropriate to show them in use.

  14. #8 Songe.. huh?

    ..there is no such thing as separate areas? All areas are one? ..you can’t imagine an area without being part of it.. I’m so lost, wtf are you talking about?

  15. I had a similar problem, maybe it is just my dirty mind at work, but I noticed that the rubber tips for their baby bottles look just like a certain part of the female chest area.

  16. The sooner the majority of the world’s population grows up and stops thinking that certain parts of the body are “rude, disgusting, or corrupting” the better. Ancient civilizations didn’t seem to have a problem with erect penises, and often put them on display as a celebration of God, human existence and achievement. A pity we seem to have taken such a backward step, and outrageous that we teach our children to be so ashamed of their own bodies and natural functions.

  17. #12 Rich

    We all need to stop thinking in terms of right and wrong in our dealings with corporations..

    No. No we don’t. We need to stop seeing corporations as benign, magic profit-boxes, and start making them accountable for their actions.

    I’m truly sick of hearing “corporations only exist to maximize profits..” as if how they do it isn’t an issue.

    It’s just the Nuremberg defence in less fetching uniforms, it’s bullshit.

  18. With enough imagination almost anything can look obscene. Just look at the highway system of the Dallas-Fort Worth area…

  19. These are ABSOLUTELY, 100%, SUPPOSED to look like penises.

    I worked for an unnamed “adult products” company, and we sold the “Bachelorette Party Kit”, that included penis cupcake trays, a penis-shaped cake mold, penis napkins and plates, and, YOU GUESSED IT, thee VERY SAME drinking straws!

    This is no mistake. Maybe the Bachelorette Party Kit didn’t sell well, and they sold the straws to the toy company?

  20. #20 just reminded me of an amusing painting that’s hanging in a local sushi restaurant near me. It is quite clearly a Kama Sutra position, and the background, and composition are nearly identical to one of the drawings… But the characters are made to look like ink blots.

  21. Really?

    The things people say about what things look like say a lot about them, kind of like psychologists using inkblots to see what’s on your mind…

    Really?

    Male private parts? Really? Could you get any more WASP-y than that?

    Really?

  22. I predict the child is scarred for life, and it’s not by drinking straws and the shape thereof.

  23. It’s an organic rocketship. Shooting out organic lazerz.

    The population control imposed back in the middle ages still reverberates today.

  24. I’d like to think that if I had a daughter and bought her one of those straws, I’d just giggle to myself every time she used it. It looks like a dick…who fucking cares?

  25. I dont have any kids so I cannot speak with all certainty but can a THREE YEAR OLD really ascertain an abstract symbol of a dick??!!I mean come on- wouldnt they think it was like a rocket ship or something that they have visually come into more frequent contact with? (sans abuse victims, of course…)

  26. Why can’t these small-minded people just HAVE sex instead of being totally offended by their own imagined implications of it everywhere they look. This is fucking ridiculous! Andrea Bailey, you are representative of everything that is wrong with middle America!

  27. Not that I want to defend Walmart, but this was probably a mix-up at the factory. The Chinese see the phallic as a sign of prowess, and since they don’t have quite the cultural taboos we do about showing body parts in public, the factory workers probably mixed these in with the other shapes. Perhaps they didn’t understand that these were meant for children? Anyway, they are penises, since they can be found elsewhere on the web as such: http://www.bacheloretteparty.com/pesist6.html

    As for the mother being upset, I believe she is looking for McD’s hot coffee money. Hopefully she will use this debacle to teach her child about our cultural hangups (once she is old enough).

  28. Those are not penis straws. These are penis straws.

    “Andrea Bailey says her concern is not the $1.69 she paid for the straws, but what might happen to other families with kids a little older than Ashlynn.” Like what? What might happen? Giggling? A conversation about genitals?

    IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD! PENISES ARE EVERYWHERE! RUN AND HIDE!

  29. Honestly, I don’t blame her for complaining, and I don’t think she’s over-reacting, though you’d think there’d be a picture on the box. We live in an open society people are allowed (and should be allowed) to express a dislike with a product.

    It really does look like what she’s saying it look slike. Anything else is a pretty big stretch.

    IWood: You’re right, companys should be held accountable.

    gtbernstein: So, males do not have areas of their body that’s different than women’s? I think there is a misunderstanding of those who advocate things like modesty. At least I know I agree with a notion of public modersy, but I disagree that a part of the body is “icky” or “shameful” but that around children of up to a certin age it should be kept under wraps for practical reasons. One anallogy is one’s socuial security number. It is not something to be “ashamed” of, but it is kept secret.

  30. Oh, I was meaning to also say that I think on the other side over-reacting to nudity in art is foollishness. In fact, I have no priblem I have no problem with children being exposed to stuff like the statue of David or the like, as long as the nudity part is not made a big deal of.

  31. I’s been tryin fer sex years ta git tha Warshingtun Monumint tore down fer tha same reesun, dagummit! Wait, did I jes say sex years? Wang! I mean dang!

  32. I’m sorry, but how would her THREE year old know what a penis even looks like?

    Seriously, this wouldn’t be a big deal except for the fact that she is making it one. Her three year old would have chugged her apple juice happily and been none the wiser.

  33. #8 Songe: Hilarious. One of the funniest posts I’ve ever read on BB.

    And yes, people like Bailey are what is wrong with the United States, and she is entirely clueless to the fact.

    #35 Lauren: Totally!

  34. I remember that there was a news from Hong Kong a year ago about a publisher putting Renaissance paintings on its book covers, but it was banned as obscene. The society laughed at the decision.

    If art can show penises, while designs cannot, I would say it’s double standards.

  35. Whatever happened to good old American technology? Why can’t we make the sippy straws an inch and a half in diameter, with a nice ergonomic mouthpiece and a built in valve that would release the JuicyJuice in nice little spurts??

  36. What if these “Silly” straws are a cry for help from within the walls of a Chinese prison where they are actually designed/manufactured.

    When wal-mart stops buying this product someone might lose more than their job if you catch my drift. So is it the customer with penis on the brain we should feel anger at, or the dickless brains behind the system that allow wal-mart to profit from human right abuse?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laogai
    more food for thought:
    http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2008-03/13/content_6533121.htm

    I was following this on FARK and cracking up.
    best comment:
    DeathRaySanta: Tune in next week when she catches her son eating a taco.

  37. Violins? Guitars?

    You might be happy to know that the poll attached to the article is leaning almost 2:1 in favour of these being a child friendly shape.

  38. Where does consciousness end and male private areas begin? What is the spatial limit of awareness? Are you in a head? Some people in the east, when asked, say that their “I” is in their heart.

    When one thinks of his private area, all of existence is centered around that point.

    Are the limits of the male area coincident with the limits of private area? Or is the private area a subset of male area? Are the limits of privacy and maleness the same to external observers? Are they truly external? Or do they become male and private when they look at my male private area?

    Truly – is there another male private area? How would I know? If the term “male private area” is understood by a hundred people, is there only one male private are between them? Or are their a hundred male private areas, each unique?

    Moving on, if the wang shaped straw represents a male private area, in the same way that the term “male private area” represents the area of my simultaneous maleness and privateness – does someone who draws soda through this straw agree –

  39. #37 I DO have kids and I can say for certain that you are right. Kids are much much more to ascribe definition (rocket ship, upside down flower or letter b on one side and d on the other) to an image based on thier personal experience over the sexually repressed and genitalia fixiated imagery thier parents try to cram down thier throats.

  40. I’m confused about the terminology. I have areas that seem to be “male”, but none of them have ever been private. And what is the difference between an “external” observer and an “internal” one? The “I” and the “other”? To answer one of your questions: There are precisely 100 male private areas, and yes, each one is unique.

  41. This reminds me of my aunt, who recently saw a black-and-white cartoon silhouette of a spinning dancer, and immediately sniffed, “Well, I wouldn’t show that to my kids since she’s naked.” I can only imagine how exhausting it is to be constantly on high alert lest your children be perverted by rocket ship penises and cartoon dancer strippers.

  42. Songe, I repeat my above question.. WTF are you talking about?

    “the male private area” while I laugh at such a feeble phrase being used by anyone, it’s not much of a mystery in usage..

    The “area”, belonging to the/a “male” (human male in this usage), which the speaker’s social-context demands being kept “private”.

    No existential quandaries here, my friend. Just a man too indoctrinated, or prudish, to use the word penis.

  43. #49,

    What about the chocolate voodoo bear? Is that a stake through his heart or is he just glad to see me?

  44. The only hope for Eagle Marks now is to twist up some straws that resemble Mary and Jesus and ship them to Kntuki stat!

  45. penis. Pe-nis. PENIS. PEEEEEENIIIIIS. It’s in medical textbooks, it’s ok to say it. Don’t let the Peggy Hills of the world hold back the rest of us.

    I looked at the picture before reading anything and thought “Ohh cool, rocketship bendy straws.”

    I’d say the girl’s daughter is going to be more aware of a penis shape now because the mom complained about it instead of just letting it go. Way to go mom. Nice parenting (according to your values anyway).

  46. Textbook definition of a phallic symbol:

    “Any object which is longer than it is wide”

    You sir! Sit down! You are being obscene!

  47. Textbook definition of a phallic symbol: Any object which is longer than it is wide< ?i>

    So I can never call a fat guy a dick?

  48. I wouldn’t want my daughter sticking penis-shaped things in her mouth… not that I’d freak out about it. I also don’t want her watching movies with violence or complicated social situations that she’s too young to understand (an understanding that changes and develops over time).

    I will teach her about sex at some point (and answer questions she asks before then). But there’s something wrong with having a small child sucking on a penis shaped straw.

    The lady called to complain… Wal-Mart should have noted her complaint and offered to investigate… they could have then done nothing or whatever.

    For those who are intolerant of people who don’t want their kids drinking out of penises, shouldn’t parents get to determine things like when they teach their children about sex? Or when they parade them in public drinking from sex-related toys?

  49. Last september I organized a bachelorette party for a friend, and I bought exactly those PENIS straws at a SEX-SHOP here in Florence. It’s not about being dirty-minded, they are penises, stop.
    That said, nothing wrong in telling you’re little girl they’re rockets, I suppose.

  50. shouldn’t parents get to determine things like when they teach their children about sex?

    Does that include ‘never’? Which so often leads to being twelve and pregnant.

  51. I didn’t read all of these so maybe someone pointed this out. Obviously the mother didn’t just complain to Wal-Mart about the straws but also felt the need to notify the media about it…

  52. I lost a post here, but it’s showing in my post list.. weird.
    FIxed! :

    MARCH 18, 2008 12:24PM

    Songe, I repeat my above question.. WTF are you talking about?

    “the male private area” while I laugh at such a feeble phrase being used by anyone, it’s not much of a mystery in usage..

    The “area”, belonging to the/a “male” (human male in this usage), which the speaker’s social-context demands being kept “private”.

    No existential quandaries here, my friend. Just a man too indoctrinated, or prudish, to use the word penis.

  53. #75, or as Jethro Tull stated it:
    He titillated men-of-action — belly warming, hands
    Still rubbing on the parts they never mention.

  54. You’re not seeing the whole story, Arkizzle. If the male private area was limited, why would the woman be bothered by it? The fact that it cannot be separated from her area is what bothers her, and rather than recognizing that this is the nature of all phenomena, she blames the straw.

    In a way, she is forcing the straw to violate the privacy of her area. The fact that it is her daughter that initiates this violation is all the more ironic, since she came out of her private area, into the public area, where her private area becomes private, thus violating her.

  55. Of course it’s a rocketship.. just like on Death To Smoochy! “IT’S A ROCKETSHIP!” Man, I love that movie. And rocketship.

  56. Honestly i think this whole thing was taken a little over board.. well maybe ALOT overboard. i think the straw does look like a penis but i dont think whoever manufactured it meant for it to look like that ( or maybe they did). I think that Mrs. bailey should have just taken the straws and thrown them away instead of making a big deal about it. Who honestly takes the time to sit down and examine every straw that they buy.. I wouldn’t have even noticed. And then she goes on to say that they treated her rudely on the phone. How would you reply to such a phone call. “Hi this is Mrs. Bailey and i just bought some straws for my 3 year old but they look like male parts.. can i get a refund”. I would probably think it was a joke. And then she went on to tell the press about her situation.. all i can say is i feel bad for the little girl because she’s being used to make a profit.

  57. Of course this woman is afraid of the straws, if she’s afraid of a simple word like ‘penis.’
    Obviously she’s not afraid of the real thing tho, as she has a daughter. I wonder why the word ‘penis’ is somehow scarier for her than a real live penis?
    She probably watches way too much tv.

  58. #77

    Songe, I’m beginning to see your story..

    You are using the words of an unrelated man, to psychoanalyse the woman in this story.

    You are making lofty, existential (et al) symbolism out of everyday notions of privacy and modesty. People don’t walk around naked everyday, for lots of reasons, so why are you taking issue with this single woman having a sense of societal-context?

    If you can’t relate to the social norms of interaction regarding appropriate attire and respect of personal (or “private”) space, you soon find yourself incarcerated. So how are you having such a difficult time relating to the notions of private areas and the possible variability between male and female responses in this matter.

    Saying notions-of-a-thing don’t exist, is not the same as saying the-thing-itself doesn’t. Talking away “real” feelings and conventions as non-existent, just because they have no “real” physical representation doesn’t invalidate the feeling or the benefit of comfortable interaction.
    Yes, skin is skin, you have it, I have it. But to say therefore, all skin is the same, and privacy is a fallacy, so let’s all have an intrusive explore of anyone we come across, is quite a different matter.

    I’m genuinely having trouble working out what your discussion trying to discern.

  59. Songe, I think you’re over analyzing what is ultimately frat boy humor.

    Antinous, it’s just a voodoo doll, scroll down for a tasty treat.

    Alisong76 “Pious bastards like the woman above are usually the ones with the filthiest minds.” Of course they are. That’s how human sexuality works, or one of the ways. Forbidden fruit are the sweetest of all ya know.

  60. Woman imagines drinking straw looks like male private area, blames Wal-Mart for it.

    Her kid is far less likely to be screwed up from using this straw than she will from being raised by this woman.

  61. #45: For one thing, approximately half of the world’s three year olds HAVE penises.

    Anyway…

    Any three year old in daycare knows what a penis looks like, or will learn in a year or two when they begin Kindergarten. Kids are like that.

    What kids DON’T get on their own is the association between the “apparatus of elimination” and feelings of shame. That lesson is taught by well-meaning but mistaken adults.

    It just doesn’t usually happen on such a scale as the international attention this is getting. Imagine a decade from now when the then thirteen year old kid is sent a link to this story on the wayback machine.

  62. What kids DON’T get on their own is the association between the “apparatus of elimination” and feelings of shame. That lesson is taught by well-meaning but mistaken adults.

    Children Learn What They Live

    If a child lives with criticism, He learns to condemn.

    If a child lives with hostility, He learns to fight.

    If a child lives with ridicule, He learns to be shy.

    If a child lives with shame, He learns to feel guilty.

    If a child lives with tolerance, He learns to be patient.

    If a child lives with encouragement, He learns confidence.

    If a child lives with praise, He learns to appreciate.

    If a child lives with fairness, He learns justice.

    If a child lives with security, He learns to have faith.

    If a child lives with approval, He learns to like himself.

    If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, He learns to find love in the world.

    — Dorothy Law Nolte

  63. “Walmart says it has pulled the product”. Couldn’t they just have taken it off the shelves? Degenerates.

  64. Unless that mother had explained her kid what those were, her kid probably wouldn’t even have any sexual connotation to the shape of that straw.

    Kids don’t necessarily have sex on their minds, the way adults have.

  65. #70

    Florence Italy? Which sex shop? I want these!

    Good thing this woman has never been here- with the amount of ‘private areas’ in our ‘public areas'(rock-hard mind you)she’d likely combust.

    I’m happy Walmart is looking into it though, they could free up a lot of shelf space for more ammunition. (sigh)

  66. that is very telling Denmark Rob. how long have you felt this way about your_______? (please fill in the blank.)

  67. Story’s like these can only come from the USA…

    Surprised she did not called homeland security and reported a terrorist attack.. This must surely be a infiltration exercise and grand plan to corrupt the “innocent children’s mind”…

    Greetz from a place where a bend tube is simply a straw.

  68. You can get those same straws at “adult novelty” stores. A friend had them for her bachelorette party.

    IT’S A COCK!

    debate over.

  69. I’m from Huntington, WV, across the border from Ashland KY. It’s great to see a stereotypical redneck representing the tri-state area so proudly. The other thing my wife and I though when we saw it “Someone with the last name of Bailey? From the tri-state? Inconceivable!”. Bigger point of that joke, my stepdad who is from Huntington, also has the last name of Bailey. Surpsied no Adkins or Skeens where representing.

  70. I just asked my four year old.

    “what’s that straw look like?”

    response:

    “It’s a green balloon”

    Lovely. Obviously, since he didn’t say “it’s a giant raging cock” I’ve been teaching him all the wrong things.

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