Burglar played dead at funeral home

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14 Responses to “Burglar played dead at funeral home”

  1. SarahMissile says:

    Haha yeah I read about this yesterday when I wrote about it. Hilarity.

    http://www.dhadm.com/content/breathing-dead-man-turns-out-to-be-a-burglar-in-disguise/

  2. Boba Fett Diop says:

    In other news, curtains don’t wear shoes.

  3. LSK says:

    What constitutes a Mickey Mouse voice exactly?

  4. Tenn says:

    Corpses sit up / move / appear to be breathing all the time. It’s gases changing / muscles fidgeting sort of thing. Like cockroaches.

    That said, if he’d just been a handsome robber!

  5. Takuan says:

    I tell you about the standard crematorium joke?

  6. scottfree says:

    Well, when Spanish prisons are infested with zombies because the cops brought in the wrong man, on their heads be it!

    Incidentally, if I saw a corpse breathing I would probably shit myself.

  7. Tenn says:

    Takuan,
    And I thought our new hire procedures were malevolent!

    I’m going for ‘donation’ for my body, but now I’m considering the second. Can’t be too selfish.

  8. Antinous says:

    Celestial burial for me. Well, for what’s left of me after the cats have finished.

  9. Andor says:

    Ahem, the news agency is in Madrid, but the place where the parlor is located is at Burjassot, almost 400 km away, and placed near the mediterranean sea ;)

  10. LOLvis says:

    I hope he at least yelled “CERRRRRRRREBROS!” when they opened the coffin.

  11. Takuan says:

    would have been better if they had pretended to be fooled, closed the lid and said loudly; ” OK the crematorium is ready”

  12. Bonnie says:

    Ya know, it’s kind of sad when real life imitates a “Happy Days” episode. http://www.tv.com/happy-days/fonzies-funeral–1/episode/20615/recap.html

  13. Tenn says:

    Takuan,
    As often as cremation has cropped up in our conversation, I don’t believe you’ve told me the standard crematorium joke.

  14. Takuan says:

    oh hello there! It’s a chestnut but a good one; whenever the crematory has new staff (or suitable victim visitors), they are invited over the furnace and shown the mica peephole (or modern equivalent viewport). The set up is that they are told that the flame level has to be monitored. What they are not told is that the heat will draw the ligaments tight and make the corpse appear to try to sit up. Much hilarity ensues at the critical moment of course.

    This is one of the reasons why I wish to be either buried at sea or consumed at a banquet of friends.

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