McCain and conspiracy theorists agree that Washington is Satanic

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Dan Morse of The Washington Post looks for evidence to support McCain's frequent claims that Washington is the "city of Satan."

First, McCain:

McCain, a Republican senator from Arizona, has regularly called Washington Satan's City over the past 10 years. He did so twice last month, including during a visit to the Atlanta headquarters of Chick-fil-A, the fast-food chain whose founder is such a devoted Baptist he keeps the eateries closed on Sundays. "It's harder and harder trying to do the Lord's work in the city of Satan," McCain said, according to an Associated Press account.

(Maybe McCain thinks Satan is going to try to stop him from carrying out a "a biblically prophesied end-time confrontation with Iran, which will lead to the Rapture, Tribulation, and Second Coming of Christ," as his new best friend forvever, Pastor John Hagee, prays for.)

Next, Cutting Edge Ministries director David Bay:

"McCain was right," said David Bay, speaking by phone from Lexington, S.C., where as director of Cutting Edge Ministries he has long asserted that Washington's streets are positioned to usher in Lucifer as "the ultimate master of Government Center."

"You will need to have your maps of Washington, D.C., opened in front of you as we proceed," reads a treatise on the subject posted on Bay's Internet site.

Using Dupont and Logan circles as northern points, Bay instructs, you can trace various interlocking streets to form a demonic pentagram, one that bores directly into 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Other satanic hot spots cited by believers include the U.S. Capitol and the Washington Monument. The latter was described by Bay, the South Carolina author, as a filthy, phallic and satanic homage to the god Baal.

Link (Via The Day They tried to Kill Me)

Washington Street UPDATE Steve Reed says: "I think that McCain might have missed the real threat in Washington. A giant malevolent dachshund bearing down on the Capitol! It's clearly visible (and angry) as you can see from my enhanced image."

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  1. Couldn’t you do this with any city? Pick 5 arbitrary points, draw a pentagram, and go ZOMG SATAN!

    Oh right, it’s useless to use logic with these people.

    Also: Bunny ears? Lolz!

  2. As opposed to the dull explanation I got when I was getting an *ahem* education in the National Capital:

    That the traffic circles were designed as artillery emplacements to allow for enfilading fire down the main avenues that would be used for either troop movements (or ~200 years later) or rioters.

  3. June@2.

    It’s not arbitrary points, but rather the streets that form (most of) the lines forming the pentagram. You have to have avenues cutting across the normal grid pattern in order to get this.

  4. Actually, there’s one bit where the streets don’t connect — Rhode Island Ave doesn’t reach all the way to Washington Circle. But the rest of it is all good.

    It’s DC’s weird streets layout — a radial pattern overlaid on a grid — that makes this kind of thing possible. You an probably find all sorts of weird patterns in there. Great fodder for supernatural conspiracy thriller writers!

  5. An “upside-down star”? Why is everyone all so north-is-up-centric? Look at it with south as up, and PRESTO! Right-side-up star.

  6. Just for this story, I am not going to vote.

    This country is full of REAL journalists now-a-days.

    I couldn’t imagine my life without knowing this.

  7. Here is a story worth of reporting.

    CARACAS (Reuters) – Venezuela has forced U.S. cartoon “The Simpsons” off its airwaves, calling the show a potentially bad influence on children, and filled its morning slot with reruns of the beach-and-bikini show “Baywatch.”

    I don’t care about there politics, but for the love of god, don’t fuck with the Simpsons.

    That’s like ten times worse then burning the American flag.

    Animals.

  8. And the Washington Monument could be Lucifer’s “member”!!

    No, but I do agree the design was a deliberate intent by L’Enfant. Not satanic but pagan. Big difference.

  9. the ears of a bunny, allegedly a characteristic of ancient depictions of Lucier.

    What does this make the easter bunny? I’m so confused now.

  10. If you are Christian, you’re monotheist right? So even if it is an homage to Baal, what does it matter? Ball doesn’t exist right? Or are you not a monotheist?

  11. If you take into account the curvature of the Earth and the event horizon of a political convention, then it’s a perfect pentagram.

    Though the two separate images (the triangle and the arrow) do seem to be pretty symmetrical with themselves (i.e., the triangle is symmetrical and the arrow pointing “down” is also symmetrical).

  12. i thought the “bunny” was supposed to be an owl, just like the tiny one on the dollar bill and the huge one in bohemian grove. supposedly represents seeing things in the dark that others can’t see.

  13. These conspiracy theorist assholes always overlook all the other symbolism of the pentagon and pentagram.

    The regular pentagon embodies the golden ratio in its construction. A dodecahedron (12 sided figure made of regular polygons) is a Platonic solid that signified the “essence” – the atomic element of life.

    The pentagon used to be held in high regard as a symbol of beauty, intelligence, and divinity. And these Bible thumpers would know that if they knew anything about mathematics, history or mysticism (not the televised dog and pony show kind of “mysticism”, either).

  14. McCain has certainly changed a lot since when he called the religious right “agents of intolerance”.

  15. Obviously these conspiracy fools don’t watch Supernatural.

    That’s a Devil’s Trap, it’s supposed to keep demons out or in.

  16. “cul-de-sac, bunny ears=Satan, yadayada…”

    We tried to warn you in alt.devilbunnies, but you wouldn’t listen.

  17. Did you know Satan is Natas backwards?

    Once Natas gets a meaning, whew, big trouble for us.

  18. Chris: to many Christians, “pagan” == “Satan”. Anything that has “supernatural power” and is not from God is ipso facto satanic.

    It kinda makes sense if you’re willing to gloss over the oxymoron that is “supernatural power”.

  19. OK — nobody has made this obvious point — if you could scroll the map down a little bit, then you’d notice the GINORMOUS FRAKING CROSS formed by lining up the Lincoln Memorial and the Capital, crossed by the line going from the White House to the Jefferson Memorial. The Washington Monument sits firmly in the middle of said cross. Yes?

    Is that not the MUCH MORE OBVIOUS religious geomancy built into the layout of Washington, DC?

  20. @#2 – You could do this with any city, but it works particularly well with D.C. Most street plans follow a regular grid there growth was well planned, or a haphazard jumble otherwise. DC was entirely planned, but not with utility in mind. L’Enfant laid out all those avenues circles and squares specifically to make cool looking patterns, so it’s unsurprising there are some.
    It also means all the streets follow a regular grid with a consistent naming scheme, except for the big roads you use to get anywhere, so navigation is perversely still a PITA.

  21. Utter nonsense.

    Now, if the aircraft on 9/11 had managed to breach the inner wall of the Pentagon, thus releasing the demon imprisoned within, we’d be in some serious trouble.

  22. Hmmmm… doesn’t that longish band of green along the bottom look kinda like a … phallus…

  23. Another point missed by modern “scholars” like those mentioned in the article: the streets of Washington were formed with circles and radiating streets in order to form convenient artillery sight lines in case of an attack on the capital.

    Set up your cannon in the circles, and command the major access points to the city. Easy and not obvious to most modern people.

    Other US and European cities built at the same time bear similar layouts, for the same reason.

  24. Quick, somebody call Dan Brown!

    Srsly though, the Christians have a lot of nerve calling the pentagram a mark of satan. It’s a pagan symbol and last time I checked almost every Christian holiday and holy day is in some way based on a pagan holiday (Sunday, Easter, Christmas, Eat a Goat Heart Day).

  25. (comment fail)

    I have consulted the scrolls and there is precedent;

    “Exorcising the Pentagon
    October, 1967
    All through the history of the Fugs in the ’60s, the war in Vietnam throbbed like an ever-seething soul sore. However much we partied, shouted our poetry and strutted around like images of Bacchus, we could never quite get it out of our mind. It was like that Dada poetry reading that Tristan Tzara gave in 1922 in Paris, with an alarm clock constantly ringing during the reading. The war was THE alarm clock of the late ’60s.
    It seemed as if the war might become permanent, so there were big demonstrations planned for October of 1967 to surround the nerve center of the war– the Pentagon in Washington, D.C. Somebody came up with the idea of holding an Exorcism of this mystic pentagonal citadel of napalm and incineration.
    I agreed to write and create the actual Exorcism. Tuli and I rented a flat bed truck and a sound system. The Fugs and a group of San Francisco Diggers climbed aboard and joined the protest march across the bridge from D.C. to the Pentagon. We positioned ourselves on the edge of a parking lot a few hundred feet from our target, while tens of thousands of marchers walked past, and I intoned a sing-song litany of exorcism after which we all began to chant “Out, Demons, Out!” over and over for about fifteen minutes. Filmmakers Barbara Rubin and Shirley Clarke filmed the chanting, while magician/ filmmaker Kenneth Anger positioned himself beneath the truck and performed his own ritual of exorcism. It was quite an afternoon.
    When we had finished the exorcism, we walked onto the lawn in front of the Pentagon where lines of armed soldiers with rifles thrust forward stood guarding the entranceway. We were carrying dozens of yellow daisies. We paused in front of the young and obviously nervous soldiers and gently shoved some stems into some rifle barrels, then glanced back over our shoulders as we walked away, marveling at the vision of white petal jutting from dark metal.
    It was a famous thing we did, and people praised us for our audacity, yet the Vietnam War went on for another seven years. So much for “Out, Demons, Out!” You can learn more about the big demonstration at the Pentagon in Norman Mailer’s Armies of the Night.
    After the exorcism, The Fugs began their final series of performances at The Players Theater in Greenwich Village. Personnel had changed. We had assembled a very talented musical line-up: Charles Larkey on bass, Ken Pine on guitar, Dan Kootch on guitar and violin, and Ken Weaver on Drums. Richard Alderson recorded some of these final shows of 1967, which closed on New Year’s eve at the Players Theater.

  26. #16, Apreche,
    Yes, Christians are monotheists, but if you are worshipping Baal, or money, or any other false god, you’re not (really) worshipping God, and He doesn’t like that. Like it says, You can serve God or you can serve Mammon (but not both]. He requires an exclusive relationship when it comes to worship.

  27. Readers of Alan Moore will recall there being a similar pentagram over the English seat of government, London. Anybody have any knowledge of other National capitals?

    I for one would like to encourage our Satanic overlords to come out of the closet. Say it loud, say it proud: Hail Satan.

  28. I was really debating whether to add my 2c here but what the hell (haha!). I’d like to say DC is my town but honestly, I’m more of a Burbank California guy myself. I don’t know if L’Enfant designed the DC roadmap in my honor but I personally didn’t have anything to do with it. One thing you have to realize is that I don’t really deal with government. They’re kind of their own institution and the rule was that God and I were gonna stay out of that part of the human world. But honestly, I’m starting to get pissed off that x-ians are starting to infiltrate the halls of power and using biblical charters to guide policy. Funny enough, the stuff they pull in God’s name ends up helping me out. Poetic justice is what I call it.

  29. And guess who sits at the center of the reversed pentagram – between K and M street – yes you got it right – that’s where the Washington Post building is.

    Now we know how they were able to keep all the evil spirits out.

    Seems there might be some secret rituals going on at the Post every day ?(Just kidding)

  30. wow, the only thing scarier than the belief in some imaginary outward projection of the human capacity for evil is that these are adults who believe this. and they hold positions of power!

  31. Ha! The pentagram is only one symbol among very, very, very, many in DC. The city has 22 zodiacal representations in various locations, which is more than are contained in any other city on earth! This thread is proof that the majority of Americans have no idea just how heavily astrology and the other Babylonian mysteries figures in our political system. Educate yourselves. Our founding fathers were Freemasons, Rosicrucians, Templar Knights, etc. As are our current “leaders”. Learn what that means!

    The largest “glyph” that can be found in DC is a reference to Sirius aka “the dog star” (also, something to ponder is the correspondence between dog and god). The Egyptian hieroglyph for Sirius is the pentagram, the obelisk, and the dome. Look it up. The “Mall” is a representation of the Kabbalistic Tree of Life. Do some research people. These aren’t conspiracy theories. You don’t know your history. You think you do, but you are ignorant of a vast amount of information about the past. They don’t teach you this shit in school.

    You people are known by the initiated as the “profane”. Here’s one that will really blow your mind: every major American city was founded and designed with an astronomical/astrological orientation. That’s right, just like the Egyptian Pyramids. The reason for this design is that it is believed that sidereal energies can be drawn down from the aether. These cities were designed to operate outside of what we commonly know as time and space.

    This is all just the tip of the iceberg. The history of man, the allegory to be found in the ancient texts (including *gasp* The Holy Bible), well hidden from the “profane”, this stuff is far more rich, complex, beautiful, than any of you can imagine. I can safely make that assessment based on the many knee-jerk comments about “conspiracy”. But, unlike some others, I am willing to forgive your ignorance. Do your homework.

  32. “It’s harder and harder trying to do the Lord’s work in the city of Satan,” McCain said.

    It’s possible he was drawing a word picture here, a figure of speech not to be taken literally. Of course, that’s no fun is it?

  33. @41:

    Not only is it not any fun, it is also naive. A serious student never assumes anything.

    @42:

    I’ll leave that sort of medication for your kind. You would fall under the category which Henry Kissinger termed “useless eaters”.

  34. The five pointed star is the same that was painted on the US aircraft of WW 2. We were not satanic then and we are not now!
    Glenn S.

  35. Personally, I like McCain, and this Christo-wacko stuff seems just to be a means to keep the Christo-wacko-neocons behind him. I don’t think he actually believes that a war with Iran is going to bring about the Rapture or any such nonsense. I don’t think Bush does either–he’s just a plain old run of the mill greedy murderous asshole.

    I’m a strong Obama man myself, but McCain, even though I don’t always agree with him, has and has had my respect. Either way this election goes, we’ll be in a much, much better place.

    Now if only we could get Bush et al into a war crimes court and see them swing, we’d be really getting somewhere.

    Finally, even if this pentagram really is there on purpose, well, that’s a Masonic symbol, and the Masons were an order that primarily did things like build cities, so… I have never been convinced that the Masons are/were anything more than a frat house for guys when they got out of college. No better, no worse. Just a club. Boys like clubs.

  36. So the texas flag is satanic too? At least the star is proportional. Not buying the symbol hi-jacking here. A star is just a star no matter who puts it there.

  37. @44:

    The pentagram predates Freemasonry, it may even predate humanity. In astronomy, there is a term used which is a reference to planetary alignments in relation to the Sun. This is known as a “conjunction”. The 2nd planet closest to our sun is Venus. Over a period of 8 years, there are a total of 10 conjunctions, five “inferior”(our side of the sun) and five “superior” (opposite side). If you were to draw a circle and a line from each conjunction to the next, you would draw two pentagrams, one for the inferior and another for the superior.

    As far as Freemasonry being a fraternity, it is in any instance. However, once one advances beyond the “Blue” degrees (first three degrees), one begins to penetrate the deeper mysteries. That said, even most Christians don’t know their religion. They don’t know it’s origins, they don’t want to know. They love the dogmatic aspect. They like being told what to do and what to think. Well, leave the thinking for the rest of us.

  38. “I don’t think he actually believes that a war with Iran is going to bring about the Rapture or any such nonsense.”

    Like I said when he came out in support of teaching ID in public schools, and many of his supporters expressed belief that he didn’t really think that was good: He’s not stupid, just a hypocritical douchebag, yay!

    (Forgive me if this comment double-posts, I got that annoying “text entered wrong) message.)

  39. Foofer, I hope that what you mean by “useless eater” is “crypto-autarchic 4th dimensional reptilian overlord.” If you answer yes you may consider yourself my newest and bestest friend.

    As long as you’re taking requests, disjointed paranoid rants about Velikovsky are my favourite.

  40. @45:

    In America, a star is never “just a star”. Just because you cannot make the distinction does not mean it doesn’t exist. The star is very important and powerful symbol among all cultures across the world. Why? It is a symbol of man, of a personage, among others. It is a symbol of deity. Also, what of the tripartite color scheme on the flag of the “lone star” state? What of the color scheme of the flag of any state or nation? What does it mean? There is an exoteric meaning, which many of us learned in school (ie white symbolizes purity, red symbolizes sacrifice, etc) but what about the esoteric, or “inner”, meaning?

    What are the origins of “Satanism”? Who is Lucifer of the Bible? Is he not the “bright, morning star”? No. Lucifer means “light bearer”. He represents Venus. He appears before our own Son. Our own star destroys the dark lord Satan, Set, Saturn. There are a few more clues for you as to the significance of the star.

  41. (yes,yes….fools!….continue to bicker among yourselves…all is going according to plan….)

  42. #51

    I was trying to think of a way to say this, but I think you said it best succinctly.

    I do believe there are far more pagan / masonic / symbols to be found in Washington DC architecture than the easy Pentagram stuff.

    But yep…more order through Chaos I guess.

  43. “Among his treasures was a mirror through which every province could be seen, the fabled original from which derived the “speculum literature” of the late Middle Ages and Renaissance, in which the prince’s realms were surveyed and his duties laid out.[1″

    well! I never knew you had one of those. Was it a Dell or what?

    Years ago when the inner-tubes were green,I tried to commission a monitor cover. I wanted a “brazen head” like Roger Bacon’s, an oracle that could tell all. Never got it.

  44. Oh yeah…the mirror…

    If only I hadn’t loaned it to that Biyatch from Romper Room.

    Looks like I’ll have to take lessons from Ingo Swann if I ever want to regain that ability.

  45. Is there any real reason to read McCain’s comments “ZOMG SATANIC PENTANGRAMS AND STUFF” rather than, you know, just generically saying “national politics is kind of evil, albeit a necessary evil” — which is kind of the idea of liberal democracy?

  46. Re: the update to this story. Try as I might, I just don’t see a dachshund. All I get is a goofy looking fish. How does this fit in with the Satanic conspiracy?

  47. The pentagram wasn’t used by satanist until way after those streets were designed and built.

    The pentagram here most likely is a reference to freemasons’ five points of brotherhood.

  48. Freemasonry’s five-point star is actually a pentalpha, not a pentagram.

    The downward pointing of the star, in Eastern Star symbolism, represents the Incarnation.

    In a degree in Scottish Rite Masonry, a five-point star descends from the ceiling where it is suspended, to the floor.

    People tend to make of these things what they wish, and then attribute them to whom they wish, without investigation to find out what they may really mean.

  49. Santa is an anagram for Satan.

    Tbey both wear red.

    They’re both demigods postulated by Christianity.

    Santa, being omniscient and omnipresent, bestowing reward and punishment, receiving propitiatory offerings of milk & cookies, is a god for children, the way LOGO is LISP for children – fully Turing-complete, but simplified.

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