Compendium of "They do it with..." one-liners

Here is an insanely comprehensive collection of "x does it with..." statements. It's funny, silly, sophomoric, and alphabetized! Link (Thanks, Jason Tester!)


  1. I see some serious holes in this list!

    Vampires? Werewolves? Pirates? Ninjas? Senators?

    Anyone wanna take a crack at these?

    Senators do it with toilet paper on their shoes.

  2. i played trombone up thru HS and was very happy to see my staple “trombone players do it in 7 positions” on the list.

    pirates do it for the booty?

  3. there’s one i see around these parts (the sf bay area) as a bumper sticker (and once as a personal ad tagline) that totally creeps me out – “therapists do it without moving there lips.” i have to admit, i have no idea what it means, but it makes my skin crawl nonetheless. it’s not on the list.

  4. #1-

    while i certainly don’t condone the loathable world of “instant funny,” it is clear that vampires do it ’til the sun comes up.

  5. Two from my old friend Eric:

    Actuaries do it with models
    Actuaries do it on tables.

    Guess what he did for a living.

  6. Yeah, he totally missed actuaries! My two favorites:

    Actuaries do it with frequency and severity.
    Actuaries do it until death or disability, whichever comes first.

  7. My very favorite, not on this list: Evolutionary biologists do it with increasing complexity.

  8. Bassists do it with their fingers all night long…

    Air traffic, getting things down safely…

  9. Glad I wasn’t the only one bemoaning the lack of actuarial versions.

    Actuaries probably do it
    Actuaries do it continuously and discretely
    Actuaries do it with varying rates of interest

  10. I’ve actually seen this one, on a car outside a church:

    Priests do it with amazing grace.

    Okay, it was a Unitarian Church, but it still counts.


  11. they forgot: Mathematicians do it with logs

    although i prefer: Twin Peaks fans do it with logs.

    oh well.

  12. From my old job:

    Weathermen do it with lightning strokes.

    Weather forecasters do it with crystal balls.

  13. A little specialized, but still my favorite:

    Spectroscopists do it with frequency and intensity.

  14. Cory does it so he can blog about it.
    The rest do it so Xeni can blog about it.

    I do it, but nobody else is ever there.. so nobody believes me.

    #23 – Blind people do it in the dark.

  15. Swimmers do it in the lanes is missing! (one of my aquatic club teammates had that shirt back in the late 1970s.)

  16. These are great. There should really be a wiki somewhere.

    Nurses do it with aseptic technique.
    Nurses do it with fluid restriction.
    Nurses are prepared to resuscitate.
    Nurses do it as the doctor ordered.
    Nurses do it to patients. (yes, yes, I know…)

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