Black Metal cupcakes

The Black Oven, a blog devoted to gloomy baking ("Immaculate confections succumbed to northern darkness") presents us with this fabulous recipe for Black Metal Cupcakes:

Le Petit Gateau du Les Legions Noire - Traditional cupcakes inspired by untraditional black metal

In a perfect world everything would be as stark and void of color as these cupcakes. They are baneful in their absolute disdain for your tastelessness, and are true misanthropes as far as baked goods go.

Link (Thanks, Marilyn!)

• [ThinkPositive]

  Eat enough cake and you could have black metal teeth.

• [License Farm]

  This really ought to just be a category on Gothic Martha Stewart; I don’t think the concept, as amusing in abstraction as it might be, can support a site on its own.

• [Murderface]

  Brutal.

• [Delic05]

  Le Petit Gateau du Les Legions Noire = awful wannabe french sentence, I would not eat something that hurt french language that much

• [Delic05]

  Neverming im wrong ;, I didnt get it

• [Anonymous]

  Black Metal Cupcakes? C’omon now…real BM cupcakes would have corpse paint don’t you think? Where’s thee signature black and white aesthetics that makes TRUE BLACK METAL! These cupcakes look more like DOOM METAL cupcakes to me.

• [arkizzle]

  OK, well maybe all of you, “these look like the ones my mom used to make” we’re birthed by Satan, and grew up in Miseryland..

  These look like something HR Giger would make, look at the centre, all rotten with pus and inner gloopyness.. lotus-seed-boob cakes anyone?

  (I mean, chocolaty yes, but these are like DeathYums)

• [Antiglobalism]

  Burzum would be proud, if the chocolate resembles the coat of Odin.

• [Antiglobalism]

  Burzum would be proud, if the chocolate resembles the coat of Odin.

• [Conservationist]

  Cute cupcakes.

  Black metal, as a genre, advocates natural selection, inequality, warfare, intolerance of Abrahamic faiths, and the eradication of liberal attitudes (tolerance, charity, peace, civil rights, imposed social justice).

  So, not so cute.

• [Apreche]

  My friend made these, and he brought them over for a tabletop RPG session. It’s almost unbelievable that he made them in his tiny apartment kitchen. They tasted like something you get in a very fancy bakery.

• [Lobster]

  I don’t see what’s so “metal” about them. They just look chocolate to me.

• [wafna]

  and as appetizing as a bubo.

• [Jake]

  They are usually just called Black Bottoms… my mom made them all the time when I was a kid. They are delicious!

• [Anonyman]

  I also fail to see where metal enters into this. Maybe if they used blood in place of sugar…

• [ill lich]

  H.R. Geiger ate here.

• [scott10010]

  My mom has been making these for 20 years. She might be the least metal person on the planet.

  They are delicious.

• [the_dannobot]

  Do not sample the frosting! It’s made of mercury!

• [UnderRat]

  Damn you DANNOBOT, you beat me to the Metalocolypse reference. Guess I have to get up earlier and deal with hangovers better.

• [twig]

  Oh, those look delicious.

• [Halloween Jack]

  I think that the degree of legitimate black metalness that these cupcakes possess can be determined by the fact that they’re named in French instead of some Nordic/Germanic language. Nonetheless, they look yummy and I’ll have to whip up a batch for my next gaming session.

• [marmorek]

  Some people . . . some people like cupcakes exclusively,
  While I myself say there is naught nor ought there be
  Nothing so exalted on the face of God’s grey earth
  As that prince of foods . . . The Muffin!

• [pauldrye]

  I think that the degree of legitimate black metalness that these cupcakes possess can be determined by the fact that they’re named in French instead of some Nordic/Germanic language

  Or at the very least they could be named Chöcolate Cüpcakes. Still, I e-mailed the recipe to myself at home — they look delicious.

• [efergus3]

  #11: Really miss him. And I’ll pass the dental floss to you. The good stuff, from Montana.