Black Metal cupcakes

The Black Oven, a blog devoted to gloomy baking ("Immaculate confections succumbed to northern darkness") presents us with this fabulous recipe for Black Metal Cupcakes:

Le Petit Gateau du Les Legions Noire - Traditional cupcakes inspired by untraditional black metal

In a perfect world everything would be as stark and void of color as these cupcakes. They are baneful in their absolute disdain for your tastelessness, and are true misanthropes as far as baked goods go.

Link (Thanks, Marilyn!)

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  1. My friend made these, and he brought them over for a tabletop RPG session. It’s almost unbelievable that he made them in his tiny apartment kitchen. They tasted like something you get in a very fancy bakery.

  2. They are usually just called Black Bottoms… my mom made them all the time when I was a kid. They are delicious!

  3. I also fail to see where metal enters into this. Maybe if they used blood in place of sugar…

  4. My mom has been making these for 20 years. She might be the least metal person on the planet.

    They are delicious.

  5. Damn you DANNOBOT, you beat me to the Metalocolypse reference. Guess I have to get up earlier and deal with hangovers better.

  6. I think that the degree of legitimate black metalness that these cupcakes possess can be determined by the fact that they’re named in French instead of some Nordic/Germanic language. Nonetheless, they look yummy and I’ll have to whip up a batch for my next gaming session.

  7. Some people . . . some people like cupcakes exclusively,
    While I myself say there is naught nor ought there be
    Nothing so exalted on the face of God’s grey earth
    As that prince of foods . . . The Muffin!

  8. I think that the degree of legitimate black metalness that these cupcakes possess can be determined by the fact that they’re named in French instead of some Nordic/Germanic language

    Or at the very least they could be named Chöcolate Cüpcakes. Still, I e-mailed the recipe to myself at home — they look delicious.

  9. Le Petit Gateau du Les Legions Noire = awful wannabe french sentence, I would not eat something that hurt french language that much

  10. OK, well maybe all of you, “these look like the ones my mom used to make” we’re birthed by Satan, and grew up in Miseryland..

    These look like something HR Giger would make, look at the centre, all rotten with pus and inner gloopyness.. lotus-seed-boob cakes anyone?

    (I mean, chocolaty yes, but these are like DeathYums)

  11. #11: Really miss him. And I’ll pass the dental floss to you. The good stuff, from Montana.

  12. Cute cupcakes.

    Black metal, as a genre, advocates natural selection, inequality, warfare, intolerance of Abrahamic faiths, and the eradication of liberal attitudes (tolerance, charity, peace, civil rights, imposed social justice).

    So, not so cute.

  13. Black Metal Cupcakes? C’omon now…real BM cupcakes would have corpse paint don’t you think? Where’s thee signature black and white aesthetics that makes TRUE BLACK METAL! These cupcakes look more like DOOM METAL cupcakes to me.

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