Man pretends sex with car, busted

Callum Ainsworth, 18, of Kilwinning, England Scotland, will go on trial in August for, er, pretending to have sex with a car. He has denied a charge of public indecency. According to the Irvine Times, "he is accused of running along a street naked, bending over the vehicle and simulating sexual intercourse." Link (via Fortean Times)


  1. It gives me no pleasure to note this happened in Scotland, not England.

    Although statistically, I think the English are more prone to this kind of thing. It’s in the genes.

  2. Technically speaking, was he really charged with trying to have sex with a car? Don’t you have to be charged with breaking a specific law? I doubt there’s a law on the book against simulated fornication with 4 wheeled vehicles. Public indecency sure, but since he was running down the street naked he’d be charged with that even if he didn’t dry hump the Honda. So to speak.

  3. “…but since he was running down the street naked he’d be charged with that even if he didn’t dry hump the Honda. So to speak.”

    What’s great is that the ‘so to speak’ isn’t even needed; that’s precisely what happened.

    So what do we have now?

    Jump the couch.
    Jump the shark.
    Hump the Honda.

  4. Don’t know about Scottish law, but in the U.S. I have no trouble seeing someone like that being charged with Disorderly Conduct.

    A Disorderly Conduct offense casts a fairly wide net and is a powerful instrument available to police, for good or ill.

  5. Lucky for this guy he didn’t do this in Philly (cue up vid of goon cops)

  6. “sexual breach of the peace”, probably – like the guy with the bike.

    Also, if he’s found guilty, he goes on the sexual offenders register. This means he has to tell the police where he’s living and whenever he “stays away from home” for the next 5 years. details of rights of people on the register.

    Even if he just gets a slap on the wrist fine, the register bit can be pretty nasty.

  7. Well, when I link to my Scottish Harvey/Harvie ancestors,who left Dalry and Kilwinning in 1758, I’ll have to mention this lovely fellow. Fills me heart with pride of place, doesn’t it?

  8. @11 and @15… Sex with bike… Am I reading this story right, that he was in the privacy of his own room at this Hostel when they used the master key to walk in on him? If that’s the case, how was he charged with anything, is it illegal to have sex with inanimate objects there? Isn’t there a law saying they’ve done something if they walked in on him in his room?

  9. oh the shame – my home town! thankfully i moved away a long time ago before the locals moved on to cars from sheep

  10. Having met some women from Kilwinning, I have to say he was making an informed choice.

  11. Yeah, Wynneth, it was his private act. Lots of places have weird laws that make the very act of sexual deviation illegal despite lack of public display. I can’t remember if homosexual relations are still on-the-books illegal in Texas, though I think they are.

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