Web Zen: feline zen 2008


25 Responses to “Web Zen: feline zen 2008”

  1. Xopher says:

    Arrow? Try laser beam. He’s so straight you could use him to level a table. He admitted it. You know, I thought he kinda looked at the women funny, but I dismissed the thought as uncharitable. After all, he’s our friend.

    And btw, you have to promise not to tell anyone. We wouldn’t want this getting out. I mean, people might start getting the wrong impression about us if we’re not careful.

  2. Jake0748 says:

    Tenn, Xopher, Antinous, and all else here who maybe know me a little bit,

    I hope you know that I am all about good humor and jokes and making fun of bigots and people who are intolerant. Maybe I’m just too tired. I made a homo/hetero joke, something to do with cat videos as I recall.

    I’m having a lot of hassles in my life lately, so I’m sorry if I’m not coming off very well. I’m straight (if that’s the proper word), I am attracted to female types. I just got married a year ago, for the first time in my 50-plus year life. I’m trying to make a go of it. I’m not proud or ashamed of it. Its just my perspective.

    I hope that I haven’t offended anyone and I hope you guys don’t think less of me.

  3. Antinous says:

    Good lord, you too? Is Tenn the only person here under 50?

  4. Xopher says:

    Jake!!! No. We’re not offended. We’re doing reverse-riffing on the things our straight friends said to each other when we came out. I was, anyway. I actually had some friends tell me they’d heard rumors but didn’t believe them!

    In no way were you offensive. It was just an opportunity to play with people’s assumptions in a way I (at least) thought was fun. I hope that we, in turn, have not offended YOU.

  5. Jake0748 says:

    Yes, she is. But the goggles are cool.

  6. Takuan says:

    Dear Jake

    Your are enveloped in a sticky, sucker-studded network of love. Relax. Friends sustain each other.

  7. Antinous says:

    The comment that started this was, I assume, meant to imply that whenever we think that someone is attractive, he always turns out to be straight. It had nothing to do, I assume, with hetero-feline relationships. Mostly.

  8. Xopher says:

    Antinous, I won’t be 50 for more than a year. Relax.

  9. Antinous says:

    And I act like an eleven year old, so it’s all good.

  10. Jake0748 says:

    Ok, my friends. I am reassured. I’m hitting the sack.

    Thank you.

  11. Agent 86 says:

    I’m in my mid twenties, if it makes you feel better [or older]. I do feel as though Tenn is much wiser than I, sadly. Age ain’t nothin’ but a number, as a young woman once told me.

    Reverse gay-bashing (Straight-Bashing?), I love it!

  12. Noddy93 says:

    That was absurd.
    thank you

  13. sikantis says:

    Really creative!

  14. mrfitz says:

    felines actually rule the internets

    they are our overlords

  15. Tenn says:

    I do feel as though Tenn is much wiser than I, sadly.

    I swear to some convenient deity that you guys are going to make my brain explode. The wisdom is a facade.

    Anyway! I was reverse-gay-bashing as well, and why on earth would you offend? I’m… well, I don’t know what I am. I think I like people for people. I’ve only dated guys yet though.

    I still swear not to tell, on my honor as an Owist.

    The comment that started this was, I assume, meant to imply that whenever we think that someone is attractive, he always turns out to be straight.

    The potential of an interest being of an incompatible sexuality is directly proportional to the level of attraction. Perhaps a new theorem?

    That, and even if they are of compatible sexuality, the potential of their considering you “as a sibling” is inversely related to the behavior of the person they do not consider “as a sibling.” Which is to say, if my addled brain can cope, that when your Interest has an Interest, the WORSE that Interest is for them, the MORE they think you are not ever capable of being an Interest.

    These Laws are more beneficial than those of Thermodynamics, I say!

  16. alisong76 says:

    Don’t miss Henri the ennui cat, either ;-)


  17. Chocolatey Shatner says:

    I LOVED Hugo, the cat of 1000 faces. Plus, his owner has sexy hands. But I bet he likes girls :(

  18. Antinous says:

    Oh, you have that problem, too.

  19. Jake0748 says:

    Come on guys, heteros can like cats too. you don’t ever want me to upload videos of our cats. I think they are cute, but you would probably actually die of boredom.

  20. Antinous says:

    There can never be too many videos of cats.

  21. Xopher says:

    Jake, are you saying you’re…heterosexual? Straight, in the common gutter parlance?

    Well. We’ll keep your secret, don’t worry.

  22. Jake0748 says:

    Jeez Xopher, don’t tell anyone.

  23. Xopher says:

    Didn’t I say I’d keep your secret? But you should try being less blatant. It wouldn’t hurt you to shave your legs once in a while, for example.

  24. Jake0748 says:

    I know, mea culpa. I just don’t know that many people who’s name begins with X, so I’m a little scared, ok?

    As soon as my weed whacker gets out of the repair shop, I’ll see about shaving the legs.

  25. Tenn says:

    So, Jake, I came by because I heard some whispers- and- they’re true? Really? Wow.. I just… wow. Xopher? It’s true? The rumors?

    -stage whisper- He’s straight? As a- as an arrow?

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