People in love with objects


44 Responses to “People in love with objects”

  1. Lobster says:

    I guess this is better than treating people as objects.

    I kinda wish I had this fetish. I mean think about it. You’d have the most innocuous porn collection EVER. You wouldn’t even have to hide it! People could look RIGHT AT it and you wouldn’t get the disgusted glances or the nervous laughter.

    What, nothing, so what?

  2. twig says:

    But where do we decide to draw the line between “different” and “crazy”?

    Is the person dangerous to me or anyone else? Are they capable of holding down a job and taking care of themselves?


    Not my business then. Even if I’m 100% sure I could improve their lives through interfering, unless they want help, it’s not really my business.

  3. scionofgrace says:

    Y’know, I consider my car to be male and have named it Zack, but this… wow.

    I mean, the object can’t exactly reciprocate, now can it? Talk about your unrequited love.

  4. knodi says:

    #23, good point! That does bear discussing, and it’s not something I recall being brought up when I was hanging out with my more philosophical friends. I’ll ask them this weekend and get back to you. ;-)

    In this case, I think I lean more towards “leave them alone, and just be glad they’re not breeding”.

  5. Spinobobot says:

    @23 et al.: This topic of normalcy and deviancy is a fascinating one. Stanley Fish, the philosopher and law professor who has a weekly op-ed column in the NY Times, actually addressed this issue a couple of weeks ago in a really excellent article:

    (There may be some typos in that address because, for some reason, my cut and paste functions don’t seem to be working in this little box. Nor do my arrow keys. Very odd/annoying.)

    He extends the discussion to consider groups like pedophiles and even serial killers. It’s really quite thought-provoking.

  6. Cpt. Tim says:

    I was listening to electric warrior on my lunchbreak and i’m pretty sure mark bolan had this issue with cars.

  7. dlelash says:

    Don’t anthropomorphize objects.

    They hate that.

  8. noen says:

    But they’re NOT alive. So you CAN’T.

    Sure you can, “We see things as…” This is what we all do. We all construct a fantasy of our beloved and then make love to that. No one, or very very few, makes love to the sweating, shitting, digesting, gurgling corporal reality that is their loved one. We construct a virtual and more sanitized version and we love that. For the OS they have merely detached that from people and placed it onto things.

    where do we decide to draw the line between “different” and “crazy”?

    It’s not our call most of the time, but the line is “is it affecting your life negatively” and “does it harm others”. If one has a full and satisfying life as an autoerotic (and there are those who do) then there is no reason for change. “Crazy” is when your delusions and fantasies negatively impact yourself and others.

  9. Asswipe Johnson says:

    I said it before and I’ll say it again:

    Fucking Cylons!

  10. mrjyn says:

    i would have liked to comment under my profile but your machine disallowed it. maybe next time.

  11. mrjyn says:

    Not Found

    The requested URL /profile/mrjyn was not found on this server.
    Apache/2.2 Server at Port 80

    It also has never allowed me to create a profile.


  12. Antinous / Moderator says:

    I don’t know why you’re getting the error message, but your comments are coming in as you and your profile is visible by clicking your name.

  13. Anonymous says:

    This phenomenon, and particularly this woman, keeps popping up for years now. See “Relations With Concrete Others: or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Live With the Berlin Wall,” in Avoiding the Subject: Media, Culture and the Object, by Justin Clemens and Dominic Pettman.

  14. Cpt. Tim says:

    Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women… man.

  15. SamF says:

    Rule 34: Making the internet a creepier place since 1993.

  16. PeerB says:

    I LOVE this!

  17. Beryllium says:

    Well, I’ll admit I dabbled with BeOS, FreeBSD, and Linux … but I am *NOT* an OS fetishist.

  18. twig says:

    #4, meet the OS-tans.

  19. strider_mt2k says:

    I had an affair with a Kenmore freezer until things chilled between us.

    Now just gives me the…it doesn’t talk to me.

  20. denkbert says:

    companion cube, anyone?

  21. environment says:

    hey this is exactly like me

  22. Maurik says:

    “trumpet bell end”, I lol’d

  23. Sean Grimm says:

    There was an objectum-sexual on Boston Legal, she tried to have a relationship with one of the characters but ended up leaving him for an iPhone, possibly an iPod I forget which. Either one is sexy looking enough to leave a person for I guess.

  24. noen says:

    People are objects too. It’s just a slight glitch in the wiring that makes people fall in love with a car or something. But a steam locomotive? Man… that’s just sick.

  25. Drew from Zhrodague says:

    Many of us are still in love with Hammond organs. The cammed spindle makes the strangest of tones when you bitch-slap the keys. Barky.

  26. Anonymous says:

    Is it shocking to see one such person on your posting? I can speak first-hand experience of such a phenomenon existing, as I’m living it myself. I’ve found myself living with a deep love for, of all random things, F-16s. Completely ridiculous to the outsider, but it makes all the sense in the world to me.

    It’s not a two-way relationship. I never even have an opportunity to see one up close, let alone touch it. I admire it only in photos, as if it were a long-distance relationship. Having never fallen in love with any person (or thing) before, I never set any two-way-relationship benchmark on my idea of “love”. I’ve been “obsessed” with F-16s for years and only recently, by contrasting others’ experience of love with my own, realized that I really am in “love” with the jet.

    I don’t spend every moment learning about it, analyzing it, or pursuing it. In fact, I hardly make any effort at gathering information, because it makes it seem like less of an “entity” and more like a “creation”. The more I learn about its creation, the more separated I feel from it. It’s when I sit at my computer or look at the pictures posted all over my walls, admiring its design and appearance, that I feel unquestionably in love with this plane.

    The major benefit to this “oddity” is that, well, exactly that it doesn’t entail a two-way relationship. It can’t upset you with words, it can’t betray you with actions, and it can’t break your heart with its free will. It’s an inexplicable bond with an item whose origins are, from my perception, unknown. This object, despite the obvious truth, almost feels like it takes on a life in each video I see and each photo I look at. Its huge size dwarfs me and the security surrounding it challenges me. I’ve only ever had one opportunity in my life to touch one so far and I only ever want to go back and experience it again.

    Outwardly, nobody ever knows. I’ve got an otherwise bland life, going to school and working a near-full-time job as usual. Most of the time I’m not thinking about it – the thought is sparked by things I proclaim my life for F-16s through, like my car, backpack, laptop, etc., each of which with their own subtle – or not so subtle – tributes on them.

    On one hand I want to live a “normal” life and actually find love in a person instead of an aircraft. On the other, well… who’s it hurting? It almost seems to be a blessing to feel content living by myself, surrounded by these F-16s I love. It gives me more time in a day and it sure saves me from the whole two-way relationship thing :)

  27. Anselm says:

    I’ve heard of objectifying people, but what about peoplefying objects? Is that also considered to be in poor taste, or is it the pinnacle of good taste?

  28. Jeff says:

    Loving material goods is nothing new. Look at all the fetishistic behavior concerning books.

    Oh book
    how I love thee
    pages bright
    there’s now better sight
    than the words of Cory Doctorow
    black on white
    I read you, smell you, touch you, taste you–
    A paper cut on my tongue
    blood makes the love real

  29. Daemon says:

    Animism is alive and well.

  30. GeekMan says:

    Perhaps I should clarify, you can’t be “in love” with an object in the sense that without reciprocity, there is no “relationship” in the traditional human sense.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we should send out the love police to enforce our preconceptions. However, this case makes for an interesting study of when we decide whether a person is psychologically fit or not.

    “Is the person dangerous to me or anyone else? … Not my business then.”

    Well, that’s not really how we make the call. A self-cutter doesn’t harm anyone else through their actions, it’s their self-harm that makes them psychologically unfit. That’s an extreme example of course. But it’s not the extreme examples that are morally interesting, it’s the ambiguous ones.

  31. Antinous says:

    you can’t be “in love” with an object in the sense that without reciprocity, there is no “relationship” in the traditional human sense.

    Reciprocity as a prerequisite in love relationships is only about a thousand years old. The idea of lover and object is far more traditional.

  32. Brett Burton says:

    I know a lady who gos to bed with an inanimate object every night. …My girlfriend!

  33. assumetehposition says:

    “You can’t marry an object because an object can’t give consent.”

    I hope that’s not the only reason you can’t marry an object.

  34. Takuan says:

    I love you Zuzu

  35. Dave Hecht says:

    Is this some kind of anti-resistentialist movement? Or is it anti-anti-resistentialist? Love thine enemies? FOOLS! By basing themselves in our beds the objects have achieved the most intimate levels of control! This, combined with their conspiracy with gravity, surely spells doom for our species.


    Didn’t Tom Robbins have some special insight on these matters? DoD needs to set him up a consulting contract right quick.

  36. Slizzered says:

    I had a room mate who used to spend hours every day getting turned on by staring at his computer. Sometimes he’d even get turned on while looking at the TV. Freak.

  37. permafrost says:

    There is a woman who married the Berlin Wall.

  38. Spinobobot says:

    Sexual attraction to objects? How mundane!

    Me, I’m in love with abstractions. I have the hots for the number 43, the infield fly rule, the fine-structure constant, the color blue, and the Platonic idea of chair-ness.

    Objectum-sexuals? Amateurs!

  39. Aloisius says:

    I love the earth. It does so many great things for me. Keeps me breathing, feeds me and entertains me to no end.

    Unfortunately our size difference makes a physical relationship comical at best.

  40. JNINLA says:

    Can you fall in love with a Steampunk watch?

  41. GeekMan says:

    “We see things as living beings,” (Winther) says. “That’s a must. Otherwise you can’t fall in love with an object.”

    But they’re NOT alive. So you CAN’T.

    I dunno, I’m all for letting people do whatever they want in the bedroom, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. But where do we decide to draw the line between “different” and “crazy”? These people labour under the delusion that the object is capable of loving them back. If they weren’t OS, they might form actual relationships with actual people.

    It’s dangerous business to start going around talking about “curing” people, but how much deviation from the norm are we willing to tolerate before we intervene for a person’s well-being? It’s an interesting discussion subject…

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