Dumb-ass anti-terrorism ideas -- patented!

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20 Responses to “Dumb-ass anti-terrorism ideas -- patented!”

  1. CastanhasDoPara says:

    @16 Yes there is a very strict set of standards for patent application drawings. And that is exactly why they all seem to be so similar.

    Here’s a novel idea. Set up a dummy cockpit that looks just like the real thing. When the hijackers try to take out the captain and co-pilot they become sealed in the fake flight deck.

    Throw in glue and/or other hilarious props plus a camera and have real entertainment for the passengers instead of cheap b-movies.

    And what the hell is up with the “air mixing unit” on the outside of the freakin’ plane. Seems they are just piling bad design upon bad design with this one.

  2. 4Liberty says:

    I’ve got a great idea–HOW bout ARM the pilots and possibly a guard! Noooo….that’s just too outrageous. Trap doors and cameras mounted in front of every seat detecting “suspicious” facial expressions of passengers (a.k.a.-suspected terrorists) are much better ideas.

  3. romulusnr says:

    I may know about as much overall about planes as the patenter, but, wouldn’t the position of the holding pit be immediately next to avionics? Somehow that seems less better.

  4. angusm says:

    Holding pit? How about an ‘ejector floor’ that fires when the cockpit door is broken open with sufficient force.

    “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain. Apologies for that brief vibration. We encountered some, uh, turbulence, that we were unable to route around. On the positive side, we do now have some empty seats in business and economy, so if you happen to be sitting next to one of those seats, feel free to stretch out or move over if you wish.”

  5. Micah says:

    I just hope it’s a Wilson Trap Door.

  6. GregLondon says:

    Alligators? No, we need sharks with laser beams!

  7. wil9000 says:

    Shouldn’t there be a second trap door below the first one? Now THAT’S a dubm-ass idea.

    I actually heard Mayor Koch suggest that to stop vandalism by taggers in the NYC Transit train yards, they should stock the train yards with wolves, as a deterrent. Maybe we could have wolves in the pit below the trap door. Why not?

  8. chicagojohn says:

    isn’t this another sign that the patent system is broken? What are they really patenting here? a trap door?

  9. alisong76 says:

    #4 – If I was on that flight, I would have no problem with this application of the technology :-)

  10. Mikey Likes BoingBoing says:

    You all DO realize that such a trap door would end up being used by a nasty flight attendant on a autistic kid goaded into a tantrum… ;-)

  11. LaHaine says:

    Why Alligators? Every motherfucking plane needs some motherfucking snakes.

  12. asuffield says:

    A brilliant defence against terrorists who are incapable of climbing out of an eight-foot hole. I for one feel far safer from the terrible threat of midgets on a plane.

  13. Cronan says:

    How about sharks with frikkin’ lazers in a pool beneath the trapdoor? That would be really cool …

  14. doug117 says:

    A moat would be just the thing!

  15. vespabelle says:

    Is there a patent application drawing standard? Because the technical drawings are always so similar.

    I especially like the dirty hippie terrorist shown in the “Explosion Containment Net” drawing. (damn, that’s a strong net!)

  16. cellocgw says:

    hey — Lionel Trains had a missile-launching boxcar (and a missile-launching engine if I recall correctly) back in the late 1950s.

  17. noen says:

    We need motherf**king snakes on that motherf**king plane.

  18. IronyElemental says:

    Everyone knows coating the terrorist in quick-drying glue and then handing him a lit stick of dynamite would be most effective.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kZEicde8Wo

  19. Mechphisto says:

    What’s the average reflex saving throw for a terrorist NPC? Anyone have a Monster Manual entry for them? They may have to hire some epic level rogues to design the trap.

    Seriously, though, anyone can apply for a patent for just about anything–doesn’t mean anyone takes it seriously ot it’s going to get made.

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