Comments on: Fake speed bumps painted on roads

By: FrankenPengie

FrankenPengie — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Where can I sign up to get paid $60 – %80 for spending 5 mins painting a simple graphic in the street?

…yeah, I know, plus gas + travel time…

By: seyo

seyo — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

I don’t slow down for speed bumps, real or imaginary.

By: hohum

hohum — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

mmm… trompe l’Å“il…

By: WeightedCompanionCube

WeightedCompanionCube — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Paint this on the road and see what happens:

http://www.seedmagazine.com/news/uploads/13JLMCE600x575.jpg

And those speedometer signs?

Guess what happens when the police put on one in the middle of a steep downhill grade, right after a slight turn, set to flash red at TEN UNDER the posted speed limit?

By: midknyte

midknyte — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

As noted in this similar (fake?) advertising campaign, it’s a very stupid and dangerous idea…

http://www.hoax-slayer.com/fake-potholes.shtml

By: catbeller

catbeller — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Sneakier: mechanical speedbump, one that adjusts itself in height depending on your speed. Go the limit, no bump. A little over, small bump to tell you to behave. WAY over, you tear your axle out when you try to mount a wall.

By: Dmitri

Dmitri — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Actually these fake ones have been around for many years here in Sweden. It was a big new thing when they first came out (I think around 6 years ago), and they maintained them for a while, now they don’t anymore. Here they made very low speedbumps and painted them to look higher with the “3D paint”. So I am guessing that the cost was higher then simply painting it, but so was the effect. Still it turned ineffective after a while I guess.

#19 if you go over a real speedbump at around 60-90km/h (depending on the bump) you will barely notice it, especially in a car with a softer suspension. I accidentally drove over a bump once doing 90, and was surprised when I barely noticed it. Although I have been too chicken to try it again ;)
This is by design so that emergency vehicles don’t have to slow down, since that would be stupid.

By: Patchouli Pete

Patchouli Pete — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

“These so-called ‘speed bumps’ are a waste of time. If anything, they slow you down!”

By: MB

MB — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

They should paint babies on the road, or something.

By: Stanium

Stanium — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

The fake speed bumps are great idea, but it is obvious the effect won’t last long.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

I wish they’d just put more left turn arrows on traffic lights so people wouldn’t have to play chicken with the oncoming traffic.

By: Takuan

Takuan — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

That would be senseless cruelty. Think of the blunted fangs and cries of disappointed betrayal.

By: spazzm

spazzm — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Replace them with real ones once the morons think they’ve worked out which ones are fake.

How about a speed camera, but instead of taking the speeder’s picture, it hurls a brick through his/her windshield?

I’m joking, but people who drive fast through built-up areas deserve to suffer.

By: Alex

Alex — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Speed bumps became ineffective once I realized that you barely notice them if you go fast enough.

By: romulusnr

romulusnr — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Clearly the NHTSA is no good at fucking with people.

By: geo the moose

geo the moose — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

fake speedbumps require fake slowdowns.

By: justin(pusha)

justin(pusha) — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Anyone who uses StumblUpon or receives chain emails was hopeful that this 3d chalk crap finally had died off. But Nope. It’s Back!!!

By: TonksPlum

TonksPlum — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

#16 You must have a very good car suspension system or daddy buys you a new one every couple of miles. :p

By: rg

rg — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Maybe just place some fake news reports of real big speed bumps being put into rotation, looking just like the painted ones?

Then some fake outcry about damaged cars, etc.

As long as you’re doing fakery, do it up!

By: dainel

dainel — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

#8 seyo and #16 Alex, who don’t slow down for real speed bumps, that’s why double bumps were invented. There’s one in front of a school near my house. They’re very small, but right next to each other. The distance is such that you hit the second bump while your car is still trying to recover from the first one.

Most people slow down to about 30-40kmh (25mph) for normal bumps, but for this double bump, you really have to slow down to about 10kmh. Any faster than that and your car will shake violently. If you try to take them at 25mph, I’m pretty sure your car will be lying in pieces on the road side. OK, that might be an exaggeration, but there’s a good chance you’d actually break something as the bottom of your car hit the top of the second bump.

By: assumetehposition

assumetehposition — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Anything that distracts drivers from actual obstacles that may be their path of travel is a bad thing. That includes cell phones, fake speed bumps, bugs on the inside of your windshield, and hard-to-read billboards.

Exceptions include exotic cars, highway patrol cars and hot biker chicks.

By: Fnarf

Fnarf — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

The excellent thing about this is that they train drivers to think that speed bumps are fake, thus increasing the likelihood that someone will proceed to hit a real one at top speed. Hilarity will ensue, especially if it’s your differential lying in the roadway.

By: TonksPlum

TonksPlum — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

They would be more effective if real â€œmovableâ€ ones where added to the mix.. This way, just when motorists think they know which is fake/ real, they have to figure it out all over again.

By: howshouse

howshouse — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

this uses julian beever’s concept of 3d painting. see some of his amazing works at http://www.impactlab.com/2006/03/09/amazing-3d-sidewalk-art-photos/

I don’t see the point of these imaginary bumps… i a matter of time, they’ll lose their effect and everybody will be zooming past them like when they weren’t there before

artsy-minded town council?

By: Howlsthunder

Howlsthunder — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

I found the best policy to be one I found outside of Denver – this neighborhood had 40mph signs posted everywhere but then ALSO had speedbumps. Assuming 40 was a safe speed to be going when driving over these speedbumps I was quickly amazed that I didn’t leave a part of my car behind after the first one. I halved my speed REAL quick despite the continued encouragement of the 40mph signs. O_O;

By: Yoder

Yoder — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Yeah, the thing to do is figure out some optimal mix of real/fake bumps. As long as you’re replacing some of the real ones, you’re saving money.

By: kromekoran

kromekoran — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

my city put up these radar speedometer thingymabobs on a street by my house. it tells you how fast you’re going, and if you’re more than 3mph above the limit it tells you to slow down, then it flashes you. but it doesn’t take your picture because it’s not at an intersection. it just flashes you. highly annoying, but like these speedbumps, completely ineffective after about a week.

wonder how much of my tax money they wasted on that shit.

By: Man On Pink Corner

Man On Pink Corner — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Potholes do the same thing, and they’re free.

By: Antinous

Antinous — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Paint a few hundred dollar bills on the street. That’ll really slow down traffic.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Actually, one of the places they tested this was a block from my house, on a street I drove daily.

Never once did they look like speed bumps to me, nor my family. Besides, the streets they tested these on, was a residential, and once you realized they weren’t speed bumps, you never slowed down again.

Not to mention the west side of the road was entirely elderly housing, so traffic was naturally kept at a limit.