Bees sent to attack crows


22 Responses to “Bees sent to attack crows”

  1. efergus3 says:

    And, later, we’ll bring in a few lions to control the gorillas.

  2. ScribblingSquid says:

    So, what happens to all of those Gothic Lolitas ?

  3. Kibble says:

    So *that’s* where our honeybees went.

  4. gadfly says:

    Great plan, until they decide to team up…

  5. jmullan says:


    Then you got gorillions:

  6. toxonix says:

    “honeybees … have a natural response of attacking a black object that comes near to their hive”

    Hnybs ht blck ppl? Dmn tht’s rcst!
    ‘m nt t sprsd. ll f my dgs r bt rcst.

  7. Takuan says:

    and in a week the crows will learn when the bees are least active

  8. RedMonkey says:

    This reminds me of the Simpsons:

    Homer: Bart, you’re coming home.

    Bart: I want to stay here with Mr. Burns.

    Burns: I suggest you leave immediately.

    Homer: Or what? You’ll release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you? Well, go ahead—do your worst!

  9. Kibble says:

    I loved the outtake that showed Mr. Burns releasing the robotic killer Richard Simmons. Now *that* will solve your crow problem right there.

  10. Lobster says:

    Needlesnakes! Needlesnakes!

  11. Takuan says:

    toxonix: WTF? explain carefully.

  12. efergus3 says:

    A government spokesman seemingly in a rush to get to the airport with his overstuffed bags, stopped to make a statement. “Eventually we will import mutant Australian cane toads to control the lions. Trust us, we know what we’re doing.” We were unable to verify his statement in as all other top government employees seem to have left Japan on early vacations.

  13. inger says:

    That’s the last time I wear black to a funeral.

  14. pyota says:

    this is against natural selection. why interfere with nature?

  15. Moltz says:

    This also explains why the bees so vigorously attacked Winnie the Pooh when he rolled in mud to try to disguise himself as “a small black rain cloud”.

  16. Modusoperandi says:

    So, bees attack black things while being half black (black/yellow striped) themselves…

    Is anyone else reminded of conservative Christianity’s attempts to (further) disenfranchise homosexuals?

  17. cory says:

    Man, if this were slashdot this would be tagged “whatcouldpossiblygowrong”

    @Takuan #7: it’s actually not that unusual for animals to show a racial preference. They spend a lot of time around white people, then non-white people will smell like “other”, and they will respond to that. I’ve had a racist dog too, he was always very unfriendly to black people even though he seemed to be ok around most other people.

  18. imipak says:

    Bees rock. Aha! And here’s an opportunity for a small public service broadcast on behalf of the bees of the world :)

    One of our neighbour’s hives threw off a cast (a small swarm) whilst he was on holiday, a few weeks back. It dunked itself down on a garden recliner on our lawn. They’re a very unaggressive and benign species; I was able to get up to three or four feet away, lying prone on my front, shoot off some video and then retreat, without any protection apart from socks over trouserlegs, elastic bands around my sleeves, and a thick jumper, without getting stung at all. (They were mostly hanging from the seat of the recliner, a foot or so above the surface.) The sight of a solid mass of insects, ranging from a few inches in diameter to a few feet, is amazing. If you get the chance, take it!

    If you’re lucky enough to encounter a swarm (it’s the time of year in the N hemisphere), don’t panic – keep your distance and treat them with respect – call your local beekeeper’s association and they’ll be delighted to come and take them off your hands. If you do find yourself getting stung, especially if you’re nearby and unprotected, a swift retreat is a wise idea as the pheremones released will make others nearby more aggressive and likely to sting you. Where I live, the local council treat them as a pest and wade in with massive doses of chemical insecticides; a crime against nature IMHO.

  19. Fatal Bert says:

    Well, that takes care of the crow problem!

    Now what do we do about all these bees?

  20. efergus3 says:

    That’s what the gorillas are for. Please don’t bother them.

  21. Takuan says:

    I also belong to the Dog Clan. If a dog hates by colour, it is because Alpha decreed it.

  22. jmullan says:

    Let’s hope that they don’t mate instead and produce crow-sized bee offspring with a thirst for blood.

    Artist’s conception:

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