Man electrocutes pickle to demonstrate power of Christianity

Gentleman proves Christianity is the one true religion by electrocuting a pickle. (via Filled with Chocolate Pudding!)


  1. The guy is not proving Christianity by electrocuting the pickle. He is using it as an analogy. A better, and more accurate title would have been “Christians are like electrocuted pickles”

  2. What is it with these guys and their use of phallic produce. Remember the banana video with Kirk Cameron?:

  3. Tht’s rlly lm- tk dmnstrtns md t kd’s lvl nd mk fn f thm, nd ct lk tht’s ll Chrstnty s. ll t ds s mk m thnk lss f Y.

  4. I like the warning at the end not to try this at home. I wish he would have carried the analogy through to the warning as well.

  5. # 5 i agree, but i also agree with #6: pickles, slings? sound pretty tawdry to me, mr. christian.

  6. So accepting Jesus in my life is like getting stabbed with two fork and electrocuted until I start glowing and smoking?

    Sign me up!

  7. Holy shit, keep god the hell away from me! I like the many layers this analogy has. beautiful light of god in the dark, scary death rattle while illuminated with light (Truth).

    Just teach science to your damn followers christianity! Leave your god at home where it belongs.

  8. What a WEIRD thing! What good is a fried pickle? Imagine what litle boys in their ‘poo-poo pee-pee’ phase would make of that. Parents, don’t let your babies watch this.

  9. I just would not believe if it was not of the black board in the background.

    That means that it is pure science.


  10. slings? yeah! hadn’t noticed but I sguess this all cross-indexes with, ” phallic symbols, sex toys, slings, electrical play, piercing, branding, double-ending, dominance and submission, penetration, trans-kingdom sexual exploration (not just species!), harness equipment, bears,…. I wonder if this guys congregation knows?

  11. It’s creepy enough that ‘God is always watching you’ but now I have to worry about keeping him away from my pickle. Creepy.

    On the other hand maybe God could be the new Viagra spokesman? ‘Viagra. Because even God needs a little help energizing your pickle!’

  12. Big deal. It’s a little science experiment using metaphor to describe the Holy Spirit. It’s nowhere near the zany rationalization of Kirk Cameron’s banana logic.

    I was about to say “in b4 Christian bashers”, but no, I didn’t get in before them at all.

  13. wow, just the other day god stuck two forks into me and attached them to a battery. it hurt like hell, but i only gave my name, rank, and serial number. when he finally turned it off the relief i felt was… heavenly !

  14. If I am supposed to accept that the pickle and the electricity are supposed to be intrepreted symbolically rather than literally, then what does the sling stand for? What about the forks being driven into the pickle? You can’t just pick parts of something to interpret symbolically and then tell us to just ignore the rest.

  15. all that pickle juice and steam squirting out of the thing when the lights turned on was borderline erotic. He ate that pickle after the recording. Better yet, he has the motherjar kept of all pickles he’s ever administered shock therapy to.

  16. What a fantastic analogy! The pickle is electrocuted, cooking, using up the things that make it a pickle until they’re gone. When it’s done, it’s a burnt out husk that tastes pretty awful.

    Absolutely perfect :)

    Other things that are like a Christian infused with the power of Christ:
    – Light bulbs
    – Steel wool
    – LEDs (use less power of Christ, will explode at godlike currents…)
    – Pickled Herring
    – Rare gasses

    In all seriousness, I think this video is its own perfect analogy of modern Christianity.

  17. Wow, the crucifixion should have been at night then. Think of how cool Jesus would have looked glowing and sparking like that!

  18. Wow!

    I guess this means that people sentenced to the electric chair get touched by god and go to heaven.

    Maybe I should rethink my opposition to capital punishment! We need electric chairs in our schools!

  19. The pickle was bleeding out both ends and smoking when he did it with the light on.

    Why, why, why do they let people like him proselytize? It just messes up the world for the rest of us who are Christians.

  20. Unfortunately, this kind of lends credence to people who say Scientology is just as valid as Christianity. Tom Cruise is still crazier than this guy, but not by much.

  21. So I can soak myself in brine and electrocute my way to salvation? Sounds preferable to kneeling before an idol.

  22. “you’ll notice that all the lights went out in your house. that’s like christianity halting the progress of science!”

  23. Come now Mark, you could have done much better! Yanking the trolls chains for fun are we? There’s nothing about that vid that connects with your headline or caption – it’s just an analogy of an aspect of Christianity that was made for a very young audience. Lm pst.

  24. #16 Buddy66 “What use is a fried pickle?”


    Have you ever TASTED a fried pickle?


    They’re the God to the fried mars bar’s Satan.

  25. ch #38’s sttmnts. My prvs cmmnt ws nt llwd- ht lttl t cls t hm, hh? Smbdy nds t grw p rnd hr.

  26. ooops I found my previous comment now. Too many popped up all at once, I missed it. Sorry.

  27. I feel bad for this man. He seems like he sincerely believes, yet it feels like the way he’s trying to share Christianity is missing the point. Perhaps he is trying to encourage Christians to be, well, Christians.

    Christians are not told to tell others about being light to the world, they are told to *be* light to the world.

    WorldVision (mentioned in previous post is one such Christian organization that *is* a light to the world and accomplishes this in such a way that people do not perceive as condescending or judgmental.

  28. Now i get it! Christians are shriveled up, vinegary, and sour, and then they wind up being oozing, dried out husks of their former selves when they find jesus!

    Why didn’t somebody just come out say it years ago?

  29. Why can’t some of these Christians just accept and learn science rather than always trying to pervert it to cram it into their crazy cults?

  30. Ahhh, analogy: the weakest form of retoric.

    See, an analogy is like the crappy little pickle at the bottom of the jar that nobody wants to eat. It’s just not good.

    Also, very glad I stuck around to hear the end. “Don’t try this at home!” I think that’s where the whole thing really breaks down. Classic.

  31. The Comic Sans is bothering me at least as much as the pickle execution.

    #40, what makes you think your previous comment was not allowed? I see it right up there at #7. Playing the aggrieved martyr doesn’t work real well when you haven’t actually been martyred.

  32. I feel so sorry for christians, especially those who had to try to find a way to defend the “metaphore” of what I think is the sickest (not the good sick) thing I have ever seen on the internet.
    How do these uberchistians differentiate between what to take literally and what is a metaphor? So tricky, but then again, they have pickle science to help them figure it out.

  33. Interesting,

    I read about electrocuted pickle way back in the 90’s in a magazine called Nova I think. It was very interesting. It was a student who use to cook hot-dog sausage like the christian do up there. Then the student start to cook anything he can. He came to the pickle. Interesingly, the pickle use to glow only on one side (like we see in the video). Therefore, the student try to reproduce the glowing thing, but the glowing side of the pickle was aleatory. Then the student start to make pickle in other salt then the sodium o ne and the glowing start to be diferent color according to the salt used.

    I tried to find out the magzine (nova I Think!) but I can’t.

    The bottom line is, like Granpa John said, don’t try this at home folks, It can be dangerous to handle power of christianity if you don’t master it. Let’s the force be with you, John!

  34. That guy just forked a pickle!

    (So if we follow the analogy all the way to it’s conclusion, Christianity will eventually make you a burned out husk?)

  35. As someone who has spent many years debating the proponents of the several forms of Christianity that are rampant throughout the Western World:

    In my life, I have only ever prayed but one prayer, a short one, and it was thus: “Oh Lord, make mine enemies ridiculous.”

    And LO! It was granted!
    — Voltaire.

  36. @ #49 WoeToHice

    Really? That’s the sickest thing you’ve seen so far online? Methinks you are reaching a bit – your post was pretty good bait until you botched it up with that.

  37. Lilorfnannie,

    It must be HORRIFYING to be SO OPRESSED!

    Watch your back – they may send lions again!

  38. I’m honored to be in such company. You guys are flat-out fucking funny!

    An earlier mention of Freud . . . I’ll bet even the good Viennese doctor would be aghast, with every reason to think he was being satirized.

  39. “Don’t try this at home.”

    Don’t connect pickles to forks and electricute them or don’t symbolically electricute yourself with the Christian God?

    Don’t think this guy is going to convert any sane person with something like that.

  40. Maybe this guy is secretly a pro-science/technology educator. He’s trying to teach the kids of rabid creationist parents about cool science tricks, but the only way he can get it past their parents is by couching it in a bunch of religious moralizing.

  41. If this thing is aimed at children, I hope it’s ONLY about christianity.
    If that entire video was the entire lesson, than what all did they learn about electricity and conduction? If this was displayed under the guise of science, then he should of at least talked about the properties of conductivity in the pickle and the way electricity acts upon it, rather than focus entirely on the analogy of the pickle’s well being with christianity.

  42. Next up, how Mentos and Pepsi are a Buddhist allegory for how one can expel earthly desires.

  43. If you take the analogy further, being connected to god requires you to be strapped. Strapped to the slings, forks and more importantly, to the wire. Not only is the pickle held in place, the electricity passing thru it is the same everywhere. All the pickles, connected by wires, receive the same energy. The same truth. The exact same light.

    I ask you Grandpa John, is that pickle really free?
    Free to move? Free to think… free to not have gases and juice spitting out of it?

  44. Ah hah hah. Hah hah hah. Heh. Hah ha ha ha ha, cough, “choke”, spit up. Hah hah hah, oh lordy lordy lordy. Oh poo, I think I followed through a little.


    Please, stop. Really


  45. Thus demonstrating that getting forked and juiced will really light you up.

    No doubt bringing together enough plutonium to reach critical mass would demonstrate the power of evangelism.

  46. Lm pst, clearly intended to be inflammatory and completely missing the point of the demonstration (it wasn’t meant to “prove” anything).

    On the other hand, it was a surprisingly effective way to draw out all the trolls. The guy quoting Voltaire had it exactly right: the trolls are doing a wonderful job presenting themselves as ridiculous.

  47. It’s a nice demonstration if you’re already into christ. If you’re not, it’s just begging to be made fun of.

  48. Stitch that you heathen pickle!!

    And God said “smite thy pickle with the power of electricity”

    So it is written in scrolls of old.

  49. “#38 posted by skarbreeze: …There’s nothing about that vid that connects with your headline or caption – it’s just an analogy of an aspect of Christianity that was made for a very young audience.”

    Of course it connects with the headline and posts. He said: “I want to show you a really neat experiment which demonstrates how Christianity can make a difference in people.”

    That he’s foisting this malarky on a “very young audience” is a bonus.

  50. This and many other Jesus-affirming food tricks can apparently be found in Penn and Teller’s How to Play with Your Food, circa 1992.

    I’d completely forgotten about the existence of that book until this video triggered junior-high era, glowing pickle flashbacks.

    (Use “search inside” and search “pickle.” It’s on page 157.)

  51. The “guy quoting Voltaire” was quoting Voltaire’s views on how ridiculous Christians are, in the context of how ridiculous Christians are, with respect to defending their own worldview.

    Sometimes they even claim that something means the exact opposite of what it clearly means!

  52. Thanks for reminding me of How to Play with Your Food – my friend and I made a pickle lamp from the instructions in that book. It wasn’t as elegantly simple as the one in the video linked in #67, though.

  53. Guess I would have been more impressed if Grandpa John had held the forks in his hands. I’m sure he would glow too. Praise the Lord!

  54. We could put the pickle in a blender:

    “Electrocuted pickle-cum-Christian analogy dust: don’t breathe this!”

  55. Alright Skarbreeze, you’re right…reaching. But you have to admit it might have been a pickle-in-cheek science bit without the religion stuff. Adding the sugary sweet jesus element in there with all the forks and electricity and chalkboardness…it just gave me the hurls. yick.

  56. It reminds me of a short story Donald Barthelme wrote called “At the End of the Mechanical Age” in which God was the engineer reading the electrical meters, and his love was the electricity powering our lives.

    Much more eloquent than the pickle, obviously.

    The text of the story can be found here. It’s not like a religious story or anything like that. Almost the opposite, so if you’re not keen on Jesus it won’t offend you or anything.

  57. If Jesus was full of god given psychic mitochondrion and piss loaded already, he was human after all, would he still turn the cukes into pickles if you bought his 12 crew another round? Isn’t that what cheap parlor tricks are all about? Stick a fork in me, I’m done.

  58. This makes Christianity seem very offputting… I don’t want to become a fried pickle :”(

  59. Best quotes:

    “Funny things start happening” and “Don’t try to do this at home”

    exactly. Amen.

  60. This guy does not know what he is talking about! Electricity is a lie perpetrated by the atheist, communist, anti-American scientist conspiracy! The Bible does not talk about electricity! And, the Theory of Electromagnetism is just a theory! Its just a theory! Its not proven!

    He is a witch I say! Burn him!

  61. Hey, weren’t those KOSHER pickles?

    So this guy is demonstrating some pretty anti-semetic stuff here. Electrocuting jewish pickles in the name of God.

    That’s pretty messed up.

  62. When my friend Mike and I electrocuted four or five pickles, I remember that while both electrodes could produce a glow at first, as the sodium gets used up eventually only one side will glow, then neither. I expect that as they are using AC current, the particular electrode has no significance, but rather sodium availability around each electrode.

  63. OMG, I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT! (Literally…’cause the pickle was glowing.)

    The electropickle has led me to Jesus!

  64. “Boy this is an ugly pickle”

    Right off the bat he broke a commandment. Judge not, least ye be judged.

  65. @ Keneke: did you ever consider the fact that Christianity is completely deluded and insane? people who bash it are merely applying logical thought to observable fact.

  66. I love the Christians,
    Their labored metaphors,
    I love the pickles,
    and charge and slings and forks,
    I love the whole world
    and all its silliness

  67. This type of thing royally pisses me off. I’m Christian… but I cannot conceive of any way that the Electrocuted-Pickle theory could help an “unbeliever” become a Christian. This reminds me of this billboard I pass every time I drive home to Missouri. It’s big and green and just says “Jesus”. WTF does that do? Do those people or Grandpa John here really think people will say, “Gosh. My life is without meaning or guidance. HOLY SHIT its a billboard that says Jesus! I should go to church.” or “I was considering doing some heroin and banging a couple of whores, but that glowing pickle sure makes me think twice about my life decisions.” Hell no!

    All this does is make the crazy right wing Christians feel better about themselves while perpetuating the thought that all Christians are pickle electrocuting psychos.

  68. 19] This is the testimony given by Electropickle when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask it, ‘What are you?’
    20] It confessed and did not deny it, but confessed, ‘I am not the Messiah.’
    21] And they asked him, ‘What then? Are you Elijah?’ It said, ‘I am not.’ ‘Are you the prophet?’ It answered, ‘No.’
    22] Then they said to it, ‘What are you? Let us have an answer for those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?’
    23] It said, ‘I am the voice of one crying out from the refrigerator, “Make straight the way of the Lord and accompany club sandwiches,” as the prophet Isaiah said.’

  69. What about the other lessons?

    The Man hates you – you’re ugly.
    Like pickles, all Christians probably taste the same.
    When you plug in a pickle all the lights go out and you have to trust me to tell you what’s happening to the other pickles.
    The Man with the power enjoys destroying the pickles while claiming it’s “just to make them different and better”
    After the Man is done using you up to prove his point, he will discard you.Tough luck pickle!
    The safety of your children is a definite afterthought.

  70. So the message is that Christianity will cook you from the inside out, and leave you a useless husk that superficially resembles your original form as a useful, vital denizen of the planet, while actually leaving you useless for anything other than warning others away from your chosen path? A better advertisement for agnosticism was never created.

  71. IWood: Thank you. That was lovely.

    Is it true that the followers of James, the brother of Jesus, insisted on kosher dills, while those who accepted the Pauline teachings allowed bread & butter pickles, as well as polski ogorkis to be electrocuted?

  72. Confucius tastes the pickle and says, “It is sour.”

    Buddha tastes the pickle and says, “It is bitter.”

    But Lao Tzu tastes the pickle and says, “It is sweet.”

  73. The “guy quoting Voltaire” was quoting Voltaire’s views on how ridiculous Christians are, in the context of how ridiculous Christians are, with respect to defending their own worldview

    Voltaire had some legitimate criticisms of the Christian establishment (i.e. The Church), but he wasn’t an atheist or anti-Christian per se.

    Regardless, his quote applies quite directly to the anti-religious comments on this post, no matter what Voltaire was commenting on initially.

    I just wish atheists would a) stop pretending they aren’t holding religious views themselves, and b) stop berating those who hold different religious views. There’s already enough examples of people expressing hypocritical religously-based ideas without the atheists adding to the problem. Yet, that’s exactly what many of them do (including the vast majority represented here).

  74. I don’t know from Islam, but the tribe would have it on the side, with corned beef on rye. With maybe a nice piece of fruit after.

  75. Hmm – Pickles to demonstrate christianity, before it was bananas on youtube to prove intelligent design. Do I see a trend here of phallic objects being chosen by these people to make their points? – or maybe they are literally just trying to stuff their beliefs down other peoples throats.

  76. Here we go again, A theist accusing atheists of being RELIGIOUS. The flag is up,
    the flag is waving,
    the flag is down!
    Commence firing…

    1. Here we go again, A theist accusing atheists of being RELIGIOUS. The flag is up, the flag is waving, the flag is down! Commence firing…

      Most atheists, like most Christians, aren’t very religious. But the few who are…

  77. @95: That reminds me of some Christian proselytisers in Melbourne a few years ago. Their modus operandi was to hang around near tram stops in a central shopping area and shout at people about “JESUS! JESUS! JESUS IS LORD!” and so on. And I mean shout; they didn’t preach or declaim in measured tones, but hollered with manic intensity.

    I suspect the number of people who accepted Jesus into their lives because a dishevelled-looking person shouted at them at a tram stop was quite small.

  78. I used to do this to hot dogs for lunch, but only on Fridays, and you have to eat them without a bun. It really does cook them well, though.

  79. Harveyboing: Voltaire was highly critical of Christians, Christianity, superstition, and religion in general and in specific. It is hard to find a more anti-this-kind-of-pickle-roasting-idiocy than Voltaire. “Votre Majesté rendra un service éternel au genre humain en détruisant cette infâme superstition, je ne dis pas chez la canaille, qui n’est pas digne d’être éclairée, et à laquelle tous les jougs sont propres”; “Tout homme sensé, tout homme de bien, doit avoir la secte chrétienne en horreur.”; “Ne peut-on pas remonter jusqu’à ces anciens scélérats, fondateurs illustres de la superstition et du fanatisme, qui, les premiers, ont pris le couteau sur l’autel pour faire des victimes de ceux qui refusaient d’etre leurs disciples?”

    Voltaire held a great many awful, nasty, and/or wrong opinions. I do not agree with them, and thus do not repeat them. Those above are merely illustrative of your error – they aren’t necessarily my opinion.

    But this is true: “Qui plume a, guerre a.”

    You may hold the opinion that atheism is a religion, or a religious notion. You’re wrong.

    You may hold the opinion that those who mock this video do so because they are atheists. You’re wrong.

    You may hold the opinion that it is wrong to mock the clearly-misapplied-precepts-lifted-whole-cloth-from-other-people-without-understanding-them. This may be true for you, but it’s not true for me, nor is it true of the society I choose to be a part of. Shame has a social function to both the object and the audience, and it is rightly deserved in the case both of the PickleInquisitor and in your awful misappropriation of the spirit of Voltaire – he would be front-row-center ringleader of this forum post were he alive today.

    Don’t hold strong opinions about which you understand (or as Voltaire said, “Il est bien malaisé (puisqu’il faut enfin m’expliquer) d’ôter à des insensés des chaînes qu’ils révèrent.”).

  80. G E Gardner-

    That is indeed the case, which I think can mostly be attributed to Paul’s “issues” with kosher dills.

    A scroll found at Nag Hammâdi suggests that chutney was used by certain early sects, but obviously this eastern influence didn’t survive the journey into orthodoxy.

  81. Bardfinn: you seem to be under the misconception that contradiction is a valid form of argument or debate.

    You’re wrong.

    Antinous: thank you, for one of the most concisely insightful comments here.

  82. Buddy66 wrote:
    What a WEIRD thing! What good is a fried pickle?

    Go to a pub or somewhere else that has a wicked deep-fried zucchini. Get them to do the same thing with garlic dill pickles. Eat one. You’ll be converted.

  83. Today I learned that not only are pickles in the bible, but all non-christians taste the same – while christians taste like electrocuted pickle.

  84. @Iwood: “It’s big and green and just says “Jesus”. WTF does that do?”

    I believe it makes them say “Jesus! Did you see that? Jesus Christ!”

    @GE Gardner: Actually, this debate goes back to before the Common Era. Rabbi Akiva, says, if the pickles are sour, and half sour, and dill, as it is said: “And the pickles shall be sour, and half sour, and dill.” If sour pickles are one, and dill two, are we then to slice the sour pickles in half, as our forefathers did, while they sojourned to Egypt, to fulfill the commandment, “and the pickles shall be… half sour…”?

    But Rabbi Eleazar says, as it is said: “And the pickles shall be a half hour”. Therefore, we must not slice the pickles, but wait 30 minutes (340 cubits) before eating them, and no man shall eat a pickle before its time. Rabbi Eleazar needs a new hearing aid battery, and frankly, he’s a little off, if you know what I mean.

    Rabbi Akiva then said, as it is said: “If no man shall eat a pickle before its time, does that mean that a woman or eunuch may eat a pickle?”

    To which Rabbi Vlasic said: “What are you, a wise guy?”

    Akiva: “SON! Wise SON! What are you, deaf?”

    Eleazar: “Vat? You vant a bun?”

    etc. viz.

  85. What I learned from this video:
    -find a Christian
    -stick two forks in it
    -run AC current through it
    -watch the magic!

  86. IWood:

    Thank you for the scholarly information. I’m working on a study of the influence of hot dog relish on first century Christian eschatology, tentatively titled “Armageddon Hungry.”

    (Apologies to Def Leppard.)

  87. In the end, every sensible person of any damned religion understands that we are all vessels of the same cosmic artery, majestic and unknown, older than all of us combined. That the one who sends us back is the one who holds us in, and who resides in the environmental condition.
    I don’t think it is outside of an atheist to acknowledge the world around him or her, like a broken condom, something glorious is never far from those who keep at least one eye open. I can’t discredit the sociological impact of any person anywhere, because thought food for the grid and the grid is hungry for everything.
    Yes I am listening to trance music. No, this Sagres beer is not the best, but its worth 6 for $9.25. Time to kill before the ladyfriend arrives.
    This is the most fabulous fucking pickle I’ve ever seen, and I am a dog.
    There was something else…apart from clogging up the airwaves, brainwaves…no it wasn’t about art.
    Yeah, that glowing pickle. It is actually a ship. And that weird old guy, the Christian soldier stoned on God’s hallucination, well, they sailed their way into this bitch just fine ;D

  88. ah, how I rejoice to live in such a time that we can cheerfully mock such idiocy and enjoy a good laugh. Pity how when you examine religious history this is exactly the kind of crap they used to burn people alive for. And still do in in some places.

  89. Next episode he’ll tie rocks two two children, a Christian and a non-Christian, then they will be thrown into a body of water. The pure Christian soul will sink because of the weight of the rock. However the non-Christian will try to defeat Jesus by using witchcraft to move the water with his hands and arms but in the end his heavy sin will bring him to the bottom.

  90. I don’t want a pickle, I just want to ride on my motorcycle. And I don’t want to die, I just want to ride on my motorcycle.

  91. Jardine, can I borrow your motorcycle? I’ll return it in perfect condition. For serious.

  92. So – Christianity only works when you’re in the dark. And it boils your insides.

    Thanks “Grandpa” “John”

  93. Yea, it is “making a difference in the world”. It’s making that room reek of burned pickles and dill. Make no mistake, this isn’t a happy smell and made me want to retch.

    Don’t try this at home, because it will take a whole damn week, if not longer to rid the room of the smell.

    We did this in physics class and a week later, it was still so bad that we made a ozone generator and left it running overnight.

    Of course, nowadays, our Precious Snowflakes would never be exposed to anything like this (or the ozone generator, which, admittedly, was kinda dangerous) in school.

  94. Watching that pickle cook makes me hungry, and not just for redemption or salvation.

  95. Jay Levitt:

    Toda raba. Your comedy kung fu is superior.

    Let the New Testament have the final word:

    “Let your pickle so shine before men that they may see your way-cool science tricks and glorify thy alternating current.”

    Book of Condiments 7:11 (New Improbable Version)

  96. Don’t forget – Don’t try practicing Christianity at home. You could hurt yourself or others.

  97. If 7 years of CIA torture have taught us anything it’s that simply applying electricity to either end of a Muslim does not turn him into a good Christian, rather, actions like that just puts all parties involved into an even bigger pickle.

  98. He’s upped the ante. OK you Pastafarians and your so caled Flying Spaghetti Monster. Just try that with a meatball.

  99. Has anyone ever put a pickle up their butt? HAHAHA
    Honestly I’ve never done it. That vinegar is a one way street to the ring of fire, ha shit.

  100. Once the electricity was turned off, the disenchanted young pickle started looking to other, less violent and hypocritical religions, like Buddhism and Sufism. Later, it found comfort in the lectures of Joseph Campbell and the poetry of T.S. Elliot. Now, it just lives happily, according to a belief system of its own devising, having rejected organized religions altogether. You go, Pickle!

  101. Pickle! Pickle! burning bright,
    Between the forks of the night,
    What immortal hand or eye
    Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

  102. This man has got to be high to dream up an analogy like this. Come on, who the hell sits at their kitchen table and says “you know dear this jar o’ pickles is like a bunch o heathens, they ain’t got no holy light”. This brings me to one certainty Christianity + Meth equals electric pickles. hmmmm… electric pickles, that is a good name for a band.


  103. i thought the glowing electrified pickle proved the existence of transdimensional hyperrealities. it cannot possibly be christian as, A: no cannibalism ( or accompaning wafer), and , B: no blood drinking ( or yummy surrogate vino, or grape juice for the prots). i believe that it’s the glowing coals of burning barbie-dolls that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt ( lights off, don’t try at home) the existence of jeebus. and a wafer. IWOOD@#97 fkkin beautiful! so as mel brooks once wisely said, ” Ahh, go drink the blood of yer dead savior.”

  104. Witch! He is a witch. He is using unholy powers to make a pickle glow. Burn him before he creates a demonic device that makes small iron objects move without touching them.

  105. Honestly, too many low-blow shots for a bright crowd, so let me clarify some things. Firstly,This is a fairly reasonable video and the man isn’t exactly crazy, all he is doing is using an object lesson to emphasize a concept. Object lessons are inherent to too much interpretation. This really is not on par with Kirk Cameron claiming a banana proves God exists.

    Secondly, those of you who use Voltaire’s words don’t seem to know much about Voltaire or his way of thinking. Voltaire was a polemicist, he often argued positions he didn’t believe in, simply to provide a means of tearing apart bad logic.

    Voltaire wasn’t anti-Christian in much the sense that everyone here is mentioning, in fact he’s the first person to provide a legal precedence of freedom of religion. He helped find justice for a family of Huguenots who had several family members murdered for religious reasons. His position was against a hierarchy in the church that was drunk on power. To compare the two completely ignores the cultural context.

    I am actually quite disappointed in how injudicious many of these posts are, it just seems to have let the trolls out. Christians don’t all believe the exact same thing, and we have our freedom to believe and fairly reasonable points to it when they’re considered, but they don’t excuse the crackpots who abuse our belief system to turn it into something that ISN’T focused on helping people. You can’t judge an entire group based on it’s outliers.

  106. This little cuke of mine
    I’m gonna let it shine
    This little cuke of mine
    Sparklin o’er its brine
    Let it shine
    Let it shine
    Let it shine!

    (For best effect, it should be sung by a hideous ventriloquist dummy which, even in an audio performance with no visuals, painstakingly substitutes “T” for “P,” “N” for “M,” and so on.)

  107. Bad reporting, he never claims to prove anything is the one true religion.

    But I do think his point would have been better made by using a live goldfish.

    And what does all the lights going out represent? And all the steam and juices?

    It would appear to be prove that jesus is hallucinogenic (the glowing sparking end was the brain of the pickle, right?).

  108. Point of order, Mr. Chairman! At no time does the “Gentleman proves Christianity is the one true religion by electrocuting a pickle” as you claim he says.

    He says he will demonstrate “…how Christianity can make a difference in people’s lives.”

    As a teaching aid this demonstration is pretty good.

  109. Dr Chrstns,

    Lk th mn sys, g stck frk p yr ss nd lctrct yrslf. Th rst f s wld rlly pprct t.


  110. If only somebody had demonstrated how Jesus died for my pickle by electrocuting one hanging from a tiny gallows I would have never been such a fabulously alcoholic philistine and heathen.

    Yes I would. But I still believe in condiment capital punishment.

    I wonder how many ohms are in this ingenious Pickle Resistor. Can the Pickle Capacitor be that far away? Yea and verily, we shall see the Pickle Transistor and then the Pickle Computer!

  111. I love the irony in his employment of a metaphor to demonstrate an aspect of a religion already full of metaphors that its adherents are required to accept as historic facts, lest they be branded as heretics.

  112. I think this is an extremely poorly-chosen metaphor.

    However, I think that bashing Christianity because Grandpa John is a dork who didn’t think of the unintended implications of the metaphor is in extremely poor taste, and beneath us here. You know, abusus non tollit usum and all that? It’s not Christianity’s fault that this guy employed a hilariously inept metaphor.

    I also think this was ill-titled. It’s not like the stupid banana thing or something.

    In case it matters: I’m a neoPagan, and have never been a Christian. I do have many Christian friends, and they would laugh their (non-glowing) asses off about this demo!

  113. Mepf. My </i> turned into another <i> sometime between my brain and my fingers. Italics should end at the end of the Latin bit. Eye Dee Ten Tea problem.

  114. Annnnnd also I now notice the title has been changed! That’s what I get for reading the thread but not noting that the post itself has been modified in response to comments!

    I’ll just be over here. *hangs head in shame*

  115. While the higher power is in it, it’s completely useless as a pickle. It completely fails in fulfilling the purpose of a pickle. It’s also a terrible lightbulb.

  116. there is ….nothing that I can say against Theist stupidity that has not been hammered home by this ridiculous spectacle.

  117. #106 beat me to it. Personally, I was thinking pumpernickel, roast beef and mustard. With a small matzoh-ball soup on the side. Now I want to go to Manny’s.

  118. I’m proud of this guy for trying to reclaim the pickle for Christianity. Yeah, it’s popular to pretend that there’s nothing sacred about pickles, that they’ve become completely secular and devoid of symbolic holiness – but it’s nothing less than a war on Picklemass in the end, and this guy is willing to fight back!

  119. This thread has put pickles on the brain.

    However I have uncovered more of the biblical pickle. To whit.

    John 6:1-14 (Jesus feeds the multitude)

    5)Jesus said to Philip, “How are we to buy bread, so that these people may eat?”
    7: Philip answered him, “Two hundred denarii would not buy enough bread
    8)Then Jesus said to Philip “The Kostco Emporium in Galillee is nearby. They have day old loaves”
    9)So Phillip went and lo, he had enough for the loaves.
    10)And lo there was a case lot sale on pickles
    11: Jesus then took the loaves, and when he had given thanks, he distributed them to those who were seated; so also the pickles, as much as they wanted.
    12: And when they had eaten their fill, he told his disciples, “Gather up the jars left over, that we may return them for the deposit.”

  120. you know why this video is so offensive? Because it smears the pickle. Search the whole Bible, all of it. Not.One.Mention.Of.Pickle. Not one. The virgin, innocent pickle is dragged through the much by fanatics. Again.


  121. In the ‘Gita, though, the pickle is one of the more frightening manifestations of Shiva the Destroyer.

  122. Read somewhere recently about city kids being farmed out (sorry, kind of) to rural families for summer vacations, and how some of them were shocked to find out what meat was and where milk came from….

    I was 40 years old before I learned that a pickle was a goddamn cucumber.

  123. I agree with Xopher. this seems in really bad taste. It’s not trying to prove anything.

    I’m amazed at so much hate for Christians and yet their posts are not disembowelment. I can understand hate for certain people who claim to be Christians, but to tell all Christians to “stick a fork up your ass and electrocute yourself.” is just hateful. Wouldn’t you be offended if the statement traded the word “Christian” with “Muslum” or “Jew”?

  124. Yes, we hate thumping, Mr. Wizard wannabes, pretending to do “science like” stuff to sell this brand of religion. It doesn’t matter which religion is being sold; it is the selling that is offensive.

  125. well, “hate” is a little strong…. “despise with ever fiber of my being” perhaps, or “hold in the deepest contempt” maybe….

  126. #186: Still, not all Christians as some of the posts stated. I guess mostly I was looking for clarification of the focus of the hate.

  127. I don’t know how many ohms a pickle would be rated at, but to glow like that means the pickle is a pretty good resistor.

    Which kind of messes up the analogy — in order to give off that kind of light, apparently you’ve got to RESIST the incoming energy. A high level of conductivity, i.e. acceptance, leads to no real transformative value.

  128. This analogy can be extended further…

    Electrocuting anyone who is a terrorist (real or suspected or mistaken or innocent) is OK! Because, you’re putting Jesus into their hearts. The smoke and black liquid coming out is all their evils and false God(s).

    Same thing for tasers. Jesus for electrocutions 08.

  129. Doc Tourneau “Which kind of messes up the analogy — in order to give off that kind of light, apparently you’ve got to RESIST the incoming energy”
    That resistance is Original Sin, obviously. Don’t you remember that bit in Genesis, where the first two cucumbers, one formed from the soil and the other from the first one’s rind, ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Vinegar and Whatevertheoppositeofvinegaris?

  130. Viva Georg Ohm, the leader of the resistance! His word is the true law! Amp up the Voltaire, and let’s see watt happens!

  131. @188 Takuan

    … well, “hate” is a little strong …

    This is what I should have said.

    @189 Foolster41

    … I guess mostly I was looking for clarification of the focus of the hate.

    I’ll be one of the first to admit some Christians get a bad wrap. But badmouthing a huckster isn’t hate. Why not a film of Christians cleaning streams, planting trees, providing meals to the homeless, etc. Any of these and one might think Christians are OK people.

  132. Christians are okay, in their place, if they follow the words of the baby Jesus and shut their mouths and open their minds.

    Actually, I think The Family Dog said that.

  133. You know, ‘Electric Pickle’ sounds like one of those wretched SF acid rock bands that the ‘Dog’ would book at, what was it…Winterland?

  134. Thanks Takuan. I knew that the opposite of vinegar was something. I’m just glad that someone knew what that something was.

    I’ve never been to Magnesia. Is it nice?

  135. Awesome! Thanks, Takuan. That link demonstrates the ideal electrode configuration – two long ones separated by about three quarters of an inch.
    Here’s to lighting the holiday Sodium D-Line Emitter! Happy Picklemass to all!

  136. What if the guy was a muslim… does that mean that islam is the true religion? lol… I still prefer the banana god… he should know that monkeys eat more bananas than humans… lol

  137. @Buddy66:
    Well, I don’t think baby Jesus said much more than “goo goo” and “Ab-ba”. :) But yeah, following the words of Jesus is a good start.

    Honestly, I don’t agree with “shut your mouth” part. Freedom of speech means being able to express ones views. I don’t think it should be pushy though, At most bring it up in conversation and if the person really doesn’t want to talk about it, then I’d drop it.

  138. i like that he tells us NOT to invoke the power of god at home. it could be dangerous.
    oh the christian contradiction

    larry h

  139. This guy has no respect for the classics.

    Burn a bush already. That’s always inspirational

  140. I’m gonna try a pickle on a neon sign transformer, a green, internal Jacob’s Ladder. And maybe multiple pickles (pickle bush) on multiple 110v circuits. Possibly a pyro stuffed pickle for the climax?

  141. Hey guys, pick on a metaphor your own size:

    “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, and endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights…”

    The oddest thing about atheists is listening to them mock Christians as unsophisticated hicks, and then hear them denounce racism, injustice, and fight for free speech.

    Friends, where do you find your “rights?” Did evolution convey equality on us all? Scientifically speaking, what is justice? Why should the strong permit the weak to speak freely?

    Science answers these three questions loud and clear: 1) we are not equal, and permitting the weak to breed corrupts the gene pool 2) Justice is culturally determined and essentially meaningless 3) There is no truth to be spoken, and no freedom, all speak and act according to biological & physical determinism.

    Friends, you’re the ones in the pickle…

  142. I’m an atheist, and do not find anything of interest in religious doctrine, Christian or otherwise. Nevertheless, I am appalled at the sappy, pretentious mocking of Christians that has occurred in this thread.

    I don’t share Christians’ beliefs, but I have seen many, many people who have had their lives enriched by those and other religious beliefs. I am sure you all have as well, in spite of your snarky remarks. Do I think it is all superstition and magical-religious belief? Yes. Is it wise or useful to mock people about it and insist on pointing it out to them? No. Is it rude, insensitive and odious to do so? Yes.

    Some of the Boingers are Jewish. What if we substituted the word “Christian” with “Jew” in this thread, and mock some random Hassidim instead of Mr Pickle Fryer? Would you agree that it would be equally entertaining and appropriate?

    How about we all lay off harassing people about their perfectly constitutional beliefs and try to prevent the vast strife, violence, and misery that is caused by it. I hate to sound like some corny 1950’s TV Mom, but you all should be ashamed of yourselves. I sincerely doubt that you lack equally mockable belief systems.

  143. Yo RICK, this was a post about a guy trying to prove something about Christianity with an electrified pickle.

    Full disclosure: I myself am on the fence of being christian, agnostic, whatever.

    You can’t. I REPEAT, CAN NOT… prove anything about the nature of GOD (or god) by putting electricity through a pickle.

    And yes, it is OK to make fun of anyone who tries to .

  144. ”Some of the Boingers are Jewish. What if we substituted the word “Christian” with “Jew” in this thread, and mock some random Hassidim instead of Mr Pickle Fryer? Would you agree that it would be equally entertaining and appropriate?”

    Yes, if they were electrocuting a fucking pickle. I’m an equal opportunity mocker. Do you have any idea of what all the LOVING religionists have in mind for us? THEY WANT TO TORTURE US FOR ALL ETERNITY.

  145. fightcopyright

    Hey guys, pick on a metaphor your own size: “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, and endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights…”

    Now read the next line. Y’know, the one about people securing those rights. Inalienable rights are natural rights, applicable only to humans, as the basic necessity of their survival. The Founders put the Creator bit in because they weren’t atheists (a couple of Deists and a few liberal Christians is not the same thing). Deism was about as far from theism as you could reasonably get, at the time. (cultural blindspot alert: the writers of the Declaration of Independence wrote the preamble with no hint of irony, while brown people were chattel and wives were property).

    The oddest thing about atheists is listening to them mock Christians as unsophisticated hicks, and then hear them denounce racism, injustice, and fight for free speech.

    He electrocuted a pickle. It’s not quite “bananas are an atheist’s worst nightmare”, but it’s absurd enough that most people who aren’t a part of its intended audience (and some of its intended audience) find it more than a little silly .

    Friends, where do you find your “rights?” Did evolution convey equality on us all? Scientifically speaking, what is justice? Why should the strong permit the weak to speak freely?

    Obviously our evolutionary past as a species bereft of tooth and claw had nothing to do with our basic social instinct. To think such a thing would be…rational. Nurture (from such things as simple social interaction and parents), as well, improves and modifies based off this basic program, as different environmental pressures result in variances in morality, and from that justice and law (which is why the Japanese come off as a little nutty and tribal Afghans look more than a little primitive).
    It’s surprising just how far the ethic of reciprocity can take you. It helps, I guess, that it helped our ancestors avoid being eaten by tigers. Being social, team-oriented, Golden Rule’d beings is handy when you don’t want to be prey.

    Science answers these three questions loud and clear: 1) we are not equal,

    So…I’ll never be a ballerina? *pout*

    and permitting the weak to breed corrupts the gene pool

    And yet the shallow end never gets any shallower.

    2) Justice is culturally determined and essentially meaningless

    That all hinges on what you mean by “meaningless”. If you’re using it in the big, universal sense, then yes it is meaningless. All things in a cold and godless universe are meaningless on the universal scale. On the human scale, temporary though it may be, justice exists, if imperfectly executed. Society can’t exist without some concept of fairness. The Social Contract without justice isn’t the Social Contract.

    3) There is no truth to be spoken,

    Really? If I drop this pen, it will fall.

    and no freedom, all speak and act according to biological & physical determinism.

    Free will may be on the way out (and with it, dualism), but take comfort in the fact that the illusion of “you” is still you, it’s just not the “you” you though it was.

    Friends, you’re the ones in the pickle…

    Sorry. I really should get a new belt for my robe.

  146. Modus, I must say, you are one happenin’ dude.

    One question… why are you holding a pen while you’re typing?

    Yea, I am in a pickle. I just hope its not hooked up to anything.

  147. Jake0748 “Modus, I must say, you are one happenin’ dude.”
    Yes, much like you, I am “cool” and “hip” to the “neato” lingo that the kids these days use.

    “…why are you holding a pen while you’re typing?”
    The two things took place in series, rather than concurrently. You obviously aren’t watching my webcam feed. It’s nauseatingly erotic. Mostly nauseating. I really should get some sun.

  148. @215 Buddy66

    “Yes, if they were electrocuting a fucking pickle. I’m an equal opportunity mocker. Do you have any idea of what all the LOVING religionists have in mind for us? THEY WANT TO TORTURE US FOR ALL ETERNITY.”

    Oh rubbish. Get over the pickle trick, he was obviously using it as a far simpler analogy than most people here are whining about. OK we all get that it was, shall we say, an unsophisticated exercise. That hardly justifies all of these hollow, pompous tirades.

    And your claim that you would openly mock people of other religions for some equally idiotic video is NOT credible. Ironically, thanks to Dubya, some sort of erstwhile Christian hero, evangelical Christians are becoming gratuitous laughingstocks in our society. We would do well to stop this, it is a bad road to traverse. As they say in the movies, mark my words, no good will come of it.

    @213 Takuan
    I read through about 20% and skimmed over the rest. They were rather repetitive. I did notice that there were a few sub-threads that were reasonable discussions of points that came up. I am not referring to them. They were in the minority.

  149. “You obviously aren’t watching my webcam feed.”

    Thank G…

    Um, thanks to whoever or whatever might have some higher power over my particular universe at the present time so that yea, verily I did not have to witnesseth any such webcam feeds of the odious modusoperandi…

    Praise the L…

    oh nevermind.

  150. I read 20% of your reply and skimmed the rest so I still have no idea of what you are on about

  151. Rick “Get over the pickle trick, he was obviously using it as a far simpler analogy than most people here are whining about.”
    Well…Jesus did have a similarly poorly thought out analogy, The Cursing of the Barren Fig Tree (Matthew 21:18-20 & Mark 11:12-14). Much like this Parable of the Electrified Pickle illuminates more than the teller intended, Jesus apparently didn’t think out the logic of the barren fig tree parable (He comes when the fig tree is not in season, then curses the tree to wither and die when it fails to provide what it can’t provide because it’s not the right time. If memory serves, the fig tree is a stand-in for those Hebrews that don’t convert…those that can’t convert because JC is coming at the wrong time, so they are cursed to wither and die out. Nice lesson there, Jesus).

    The problem with analogies, you see, is that they rarely say exactly what you want them to. If they did say the exact right thing, they would no longer be analogies.

  152. great,we’ll soon see the first casualties from the Great Pickle Schism. I’ll say it again: organized religion is too sharp a blade for bloody primates. Stick to disorganized religion and you’ll butcher fewer.

  153. Rick “Ironically, thanks to Dubya, some sort of erstwhile Christian hero, evangelical Christians are becoming gratuitous laughingstocks in our society.”
    It’s more than just Dubya, y’know. There are these people, for a start. Also, there are all of the married, “family values”, anti-gay, Christian Right politicians that get a little something on the side. Just to be clear, by “little something” I mean “homo gay mansex”.
    That’s a big bowl of hypocrisy-slash-do as I say/not as I do, and it’s full of nuts. Just to be clear, by “nuts” I mean “homo gay man-nuts”.

  154. @ Rick

    That hardly justifies all of these hollow, pompous tirades.

    Takes two to tango – better not to call someone pompous whilst telling them their sense of humor is wrong.

    Unless, of course, they are on your lawn.

  155. “Do you have any idea of what all the LOVING religionists have in mind for us? THEY WANT TO TORTURE US FOR ALL ETERNITY.”
    See, making generalzations like this is exactly what I mean. No Christians I know of WANT non-christians to be tortured for eternity (I suppose there are some sick indivisuals perhaps that do.). Just because a Christian beleives it will happen doesn’t mean they want it to happen. I certinly don’t want anyone to be tortured for eternity.

    Modus: Yes, there are some Christian nuts, but that’s no reason to ridacule an entire beleif system. The guy in this video is just using an anallogy. Is there some reaons to suspect he’s linked with the Christian Anti-gay movement? I didn’t see any.

    Saying the anallogy is not a good one is a reasonable thing to say, but alot of the comments here overstep good taste.

  156. ”I certinly don’t want anyone to be tortured for eternity.”

    Then you should maybe talk to your god about it, because it is my understanding from Christians that that’s what’s in store for us atheists, agnostics, and infidels: an eternity of suffering.

    And there’s something I’ve always wanted to ask a Christian: If your god does promise such a hellish fate, and intends to deliver on it, why would you worship a prick like that?

    Fear? Is your god of love actually a god of fear?

  157. Foolster41 “Is there some reaons to suspect he’s linked with the Christian Anti-gay movement?”
    He electrocuted a pickle. I can’t get any clearer than that. Okay, I’m being tongue in cheek now. I do that, sometimes.

    [lengthy pause]

    …how many pro-gay evangelical Christian organizations are there, anyway?

  158. Foolster41 “Modus: Yes, there are some Christian nuts…”
    See? Both atheist and theist do have common ground. Some of “my” people are nuts, too. Sadly, they don’t have biblical passages to support their nuttery.

    “…but that’s no reason to ridacule an entire beleif system. The guy in this video is just using an anallogy.”
    Christianity’s entire belief system revolves around electrocuting pickles? Wow, Christian theology is a lot simpler than I thought.

  159. Buddy: I think it’s not quite so simple. I think Hell is more an absence of God. It’s not so much that God wants to send people there who won’t listen to him as he grants people who don’t want to be with him what they want. And just because this is the reality means that I want it to happen.

    I’m not expecting this to suddenly believe or anything, but I hope you see there are some misunderstandings and stereotypes about Christianity.

  160. ”I hope you see there are some misunderstandings and stereotypes about Christianity.”

    Yes, especially among Christians.

    If Hell is an absence of God, then we’re within the gates right now. Party on!

  161. Don’t hide the light of your ElectroPickle under a basket. Hold it for all the world to see.

Comments are closed.