Brides demand breast-surgery for their bridesmaids

Some marriage-crazed brides are demanding that their bridesmaids get laser-surgery, botox, breast-enhancements and salon tans before Der Tag.
Two weeks ago, Health Travel Guides, a medical tourism company, exhibited at the Dallas Bridal Show for the first time. “We received 30 requests for quotes among the bridal show attendees – mostly for plastic surgery such as liposuction and breast augmentation,” said Sandra Miller, the company’s chief marketing officer. “But also many for cosmetic dentistry and inquiries for providing quotes for bachelorette getaways that will feature beauty treatments.”

A bride’s request that you whiten your grayish teeth can strain a relationship. Samantha Goldberg, a wedding planner in Chester, N.J., recalled a bride who asked her attendants to get professionally spray-tanned for a Hawaiian-theme reception.

Alas, two women were claustrophobic and couldn’t bear standing in a tanning capsule. “They asked the bride if they could use regular tanning cream from a salon,” Ms. Goldberg said. The bride refused; she wanted everyone to be the same shade. The women ultimately declined to be bridesmaids. “Friendships of 20-plus years gone over a spray tan?” Ms. Goldberg said. “Sad!”

Link (via Kottke)


  1. Jesus. I think we’re seeing “Bridezillas” taken to a new level. As if having to wear the hideous bridesmaid’s gown isn’t bad enough.

  2. But for every accommodating pal, there’s another who feels going under the knife is beyond the duty of bridesmaid. Becky Lee, 39, a Manhattan photographer, declined when a friend asked her — and five other attendants — to have their breasts enhanced.

    Whatever happened to choosing ugly bridesmaids to make the bride look better?

  3. What ever happened with showing up in a track suit to the justice of the peace with the to be spouse in tow?

  4. #4 @Takuan I believe it’s measured in Plank time, which can be difficult to measure, and therefore only approximations have been put forth.

  5. There is little in American culture that has grown more ridiculous than weddings.

    Pop culture constantly makes fun of men for buying big TV’s and being rabid sports fans. These failings are nothing compared to the runaway craziness and unbridled selfishness exhibited by brides.

    Going 100k (or more) into debt for a five hour party is no way to start a life together.

  6. I like BoingBoing because it makes me actually think about things that I didn’t realize I had accepted blindly.

    I think this is where I first heard somebody ask “Why DO we have green grass lawns, anyway?”. And “Why do we spend so much on weddings, and not think it’s insane?”. I’m also pretty sure this is the site that made me re-evaluate my stand on diamonds.

    Thanks for being counter-cultural!

  7. “Friendships of 20-plus years gone over a spray tan?” Ms. Goldberg said. “Sad!”People who care more about appearances than their friends feelings? Shallow and despicable!

    Last week, two women who were this shallow were sitting next to me on the commuter train. I felt physical pain at the level of shallowness exhibited. Recall the semi-famous Internet video of the girl who’s parents did all her homework for her, and cried when someone tore up a photograph of her. Also recall the beauty pageant girl who said people don’t have maps.

    These are the children we are raising. And people are having a hard time figuring out why the economy is so bad?

  8. #8 – you might be surprised by the number of young women these days, who look at at marriage not as something that is a prize sweetest as soon as they finish school, but as something that can and ought be put off until later. Much, much later in many cases. Of course, there will always be those for whom getting married really *is* the only thing they’ve dreamed of, but thanks to evolving mores and social climes, a young woman has many more options available than in the past.

    A bride so overbearingly selfish as to expect her “friends” to spray, slice or otherwise completely alter their physical being (nearly permanently, in the case of implants), deserves no friends at all.

    War Justice of the Peace, Eloping or staying single. That 100k would be far better spent as a down payment on a house, regardless of one’s marital status.

  9. @#6,
    That would be Planck time, unless it’s a pirate wedding, in which case, you’re probably right. The groom ends up walking the plank.

  10. @3 Antinous –

    My maid of honor is gorgeous. I am considering outfitting her in a burlap sack and pigtails in order to ensure that she doesn’t outshine me on my big day.

    I’m only half-kidding.

  11. @2: …tuxedos?

    I am in no place to pontificate, as I forced ridiculous measures on my groomsmen: they were all made to wear aqua chuck taylors, and I (the groom) wore shiny reflective silver ones.

  12. I’ve always figured that crazy bridezillas developed from a need to make the wedding event appear more awesome so as to cover up the flaws in the actual marriage. If you look beautiful together in your wedding photos it means its all going to work out right?

  13. Many years ago having just read one of William Gibson’s novels can’t quite remember which one I found myself believing that “everyone can become beautiful given enough money” (paraphrased), and that Ugly would become the new beautiful. I agree wholeheartedly, anyone with enough money these days can buy what ever they need to “become” lovely. Yuck! Myself am heavily tattooed shaved of pate rings in ears, not for modern “fashion” but to separate myself from the sheepish vanities of our times. Power to the Uglies!

  14. “Some brides pick up the tab for their attendants, replacing the pillbox inscribed with the wedding date with a well-earned squirt between the eyes.”

    That sounds like one hell of a bachelorette party!

  15. Bridezillas: Because nothing says ‘Thank you for participating in one of the most special days of my life’ quite like implying ‘I disagree with your physical appearance and require you to change it to something I find more pleasing.’

  16. Trixie-ass bitches iz crazy. The ideal marriage is me sayin ‘bitch you is mine’ and she says ‘ok’. Then we do it. Aint no diamonds or breast augmentation involved.

  17. For my wedding, I’m having all my groomsmen get penis enlargements and hair transplant surgery.

    1. For my wedding, I’m having all my groomsmen get penis enlargements and hair transplant surgery.

      Can you get the bridesmaids to pay for it?

  18. I have been the maid of honor for two weddings recently and in both cases the mother in law has wanted me to ‘do something’ about my hair. I have had my dreads for three years and the only way to ‘do something’ is to cut it off. Mmmm shaved head for wedding. In both cases the brides told the mothers in law they wanted me to be a bridesmaid because of who I was not how I looked. I wouldn’t cut my hair off for a wedding and I can’t imagine any of this cosmetic surgery. Honestly if someone asked me to get surgery to be in their wedding I’m not sure I could be their friend anymore.
    I think some girls get it in their heads that either – this is supposed to be the happiest day of the life or that it’s their big chance to be a movie star. The obsession over the photos and wedding video is pretty crazy. It feels almost like going on vacation to have photos to show off to people. I love photography – but it can get weird sometimes.

  19. whatever happened to tradition when all you needed was a fire or sword on the ground?

    “Leap rogue, and jump whore, And then you are married for evermore!”

    or the taurobolium?

  20. At work I overheard a Bridezilla type colleague instructing my other female colleagues which particular shade of blue they were allowed to wear at her upcoming wedding. In particular telling one girl that “hmmm… I’m not so fond of sky blue…”. Well, she’ll get a wedding day with lots of appropriate shades blue, but on the other hand she’ll have to spend the next couple of years surrounded by colleagues who think of her a complete muppet.

  21. @14 — aqua chuck taylors

    I wore a pair of those to the prom when I was in high school. I always kind of assumed I was the only person alive with taste that awful..apparently I was wrong

  22. Hopefully when my daughter (aged 5 months) gets married, she’ll not demand that her friends jump into the femtotech vatforge to make sure they are all the same height. Because I’m not paying for it.

  23. This is probably the saddest blog post I’ve read all week. And I read some depressing stuff.

    Self-obsession is one thing, but demanding your friends disfigure themselves in your honor? It’s like the old 80s axiom, it’s not enough for you to win, but your friends also have to lose.

  24. @14: Silver chucks? Where did you get them? Had I only known, I would have worn a pair with my thrift-store sharkskin suit.

  25. there are variants, it’s old, very old. People wanted to get married back when peasants didn’t even rate names, much less priest-run rites. Was it Three Hearts and Three Lions? Or Glory Road where I first encountered one version?

  26. Now, I’m as willing as the next fellow to believe that we’re all headed to Hell in a hand basket, but I’m not so sure we’ve got a real trend here. It looks like the article is conflating “bachelorette” getaways to health/beauty spas with actual instances of group cosmetic surgery. Of course, my own personal experience of sacrifice as part of a wedding party has never gone beyond the intricacies of rental tuxedo assembly.

  27. >Whatever happened to choosing ugly bridesmaids to make the bride look better?

    It used to be that the bridezillas required facial scarring, visible bruises, and missing teeth (or at least blacked-out as a compromise) for their bridesmaids.

    So I guess tanning and cosmetic surgery is an … um … improvement?

  28. I really don’t get the whole anti-aging body augmentation trend/fashion. Looking at all the Hollywood actors, a good surgeon seems really hard to find (and I just assume actors have the money and the reasearch to find a good one), they all sooner or later look like the Joker.
    What’s so bad about aging? It happens. You lived in your body and it shows. I’ve earned all my laughter lines and every crow feet and I don’t feel ugly because I don’t look like I’m twenty any longer.
    I don’t want to be twenty all my life.

    So, while it’s bad enough to be self-conscious all the time and probably ashamed of aging and considering botox/ whatever for yourself, I think it’s a lot worse when some bridezilla comes along and actually wants you to change because you don’t fit in her mold for a perfect bridesmaid.
    So shallow.

  29. if you could live forever by feeding on the youth of others – stealing their time in the process – would you?

  30. Yikes! This goes beyond being a “bridezilla.” I would say this is more like “bride-Ghidorah” or something else.

    It’s stuff like this that makes me a little allergic to weddings in general.

  31. Anyone who makes these kind of demands of their bridesmaids must have a really ugly soul.

  32. Y’know, my parents’ still-solid marriage started with a wedding where they had one attendant each, Mom wore a dress she made herself, and Dad wore his best green polyester suit.

    This is disgusting. Think of all that time and money wasted when so many people don’t even expect marriages to last anymore. All the best weddings I’ve been to were more about everybody having a great time than trying to be impressive and perfect.

  33. how about Marriage Ceremony by Combat, where the winner gets to make the decisions thereafter?

    1. how about Marriage Ceremony by Combat, where the winner gets to make the decisions thereafter?

      The whole point of wedding planning is for the bride to establish dominance.

  34. Xopher #42:

    Heh, good one! I forgot about Godzilla vs. Hedorah (or, as I call it, “Godzilla vs. the Shit Monster”).


  35. Although being a new, young bride (married at 20 – only a year and a half ago) I managed to have a fantastic, memorable wedding for…
    …prepare yourself…
    …less than $150.

    It was absolutely lovely and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Marriages are supposed to be about love! You remember, that thing which doesn’t concern itself with appearance or one-upping others.

    How people can POSSIBLY think that putting on a HUGE show and getting in a tizz about everything being “perfect” can possibly be an appropriate way to celebrate love is beyond me.
    …and good luck to the schmucks who marry them.

  36. People just don’t appreciate the planning that goes into a modern wedding. You should’ve heard the bitching I got when I made all my groomsmen have pectoral implants and penile enhancements.

  37. You’d think that if a bride is demanding enhancement surgery, it would be for the groom to get penile implants. That’s long term thinkin’ folks.

  38. #16 Techdeviant hit the nail on the head.

    When we buy chubby mcmansions to hide from the fact that we work 70 hour weeks and are never actually in them while the family’s awake, and buy shiny, high-tech SUVs to avoid thinking too hard about commuting 90 minutes each way to the office, throwing the most ostentatiously extravagant wedding our loan brokers will let us get away with to distract us from not really knowing the person we’re marrying and secretly suspecting the worst hardly seems out of place.

  39. But remember kids, allowing two consenting adults of the same sex to marry is what’s REALLY going to cheapen and degrade the institution of marriage.

    Nope, no matter how I try to type that, it still sounds stupid.

  40. What if two people of the same sex wanted to get married but agreed to never have physical sex?

    1. What if two people of the same sex wanted to get married but agreed to never have physical sex?

      That seems redundant. Doesn’t marriage terminate sex, anyway?

  41. and don’t say that’s silly because it’s the same deal catholic priests and nuns make

  42. wouldn’t it be bad luck for the couple’s marriage for the augmented bridesmaids to continue to wear their new, improved breasts after the nuptials? traditionally they’re not really supposed to re-wear the dress..

    and imagine if the marriage doesn’t work out. “i got my breasts enlarged for your damn wedding — and now you’re getting *divorced*?!!!”

    seems simpler to just hold auditions. but frankly, if i were the groom and heard that my intended was going all control-freak crazy on the picture-perfect wedding-thing, i’d dump her and flee — not necessarily in that order. who’d want to live with someone like that?

  43. @48 – I managed to have a fantastic, memorable wedding for…
    …prepare yourself…
    …less than $150.


    Seriously, the best weddings I have been to are in someones yard, ‘catered’ by friends, with dancing music from a home stereo. The worst have been at rented mansions with live string quartets. You Rock.

  44. Thorn 59: Good point. I’d think they should sue to make the bridehedorâ pay to reverse the surgery. Plus pain and suffering and punitive damages.

    Seriously, I’d like to see a study that correlated amount spent on a wedding with divorce rates of couples. I bet the correlation would be positive.

  45. Antinous, yes, you’d think people who are against gay sex would be for gay marriage on those grounds, but somehow they aren’t.

  46. Every time I’ve been a bridesmaid, it’s been a burlap sack for me and a full day of keeping a very full schedule with a panicking, hyperventilating friend who alternates between (happy but still messy) tears and curling up in the corner– corset, fifty button dress in all– and making little frightened noises in the back of their throats.

    That’s enough to keep me busy. It takes some damn love to ferry your friends, who are freaking the hell on out, from points a to b, wear an ugly dress and help take care of all the details from checking on the caterer to getting the bride into some truly elaborate confections and talking her through all the pre-wedding jitters.

    I think, knowing about a day of that coming up, if someone had asked me to have surgery, I’d have slapped them.

  47. Just more proof that America has become nothing more than a herd of mouthbreathing,materialistic idiots.

  48. I was a bridesmaid for a wedding and the bride asked me to dye my hair brown from the blue I’d had for six years. At least she paid for it to be done.

  49. Oh, that’s not so bad….

    A “friend” of mine was my closest confidant when my husband and I first started talking about marriage. The day after I had gone to her (needing a friend with whom I could get advice and just get things off my chest with) she announced her boyfriend had proposed. I later found out she had forced him to ask after I left their house that night. She picked the day that I told her my husband and I were planning on (it bugged me, but I didn’t get mad, my husband hadn’t officially asked me so the date was open to her). When I announced my happy news a month later and told her we would be getting married in August she got extremely pissed off. Kicked me out of her wedding party too.

    The reason? Oh, her wedding was planned for June, and my husband and I were being rude and thoughtless by not waiting a whole YEAR after her wedding to tie the knot ourselves.

    Four years later, I’m happy say my husband and I are still very happy and very together. My “friend” divorced her husband less than a year after their wedding.

  50. When looking for bridesmaid’s dresses with my sister she told her maid of honor and I that we needed to grow breasts for her wedding…but she was joking.

    She’s going to laugh her ass off at this.

    My mom thought it was kind of ridiculous to make us all wear hot pink for my sister’s wedding…I think this will help put it into perspective for her. Especially considering my sister is trying to go for dresses that with minimal altering could be worn again.

  51. My daughter got married and went through the whole unnerving process of a fairly big wedding. As she was unravelling I remarked to my ex-wife that our nearly unflappable daughter was acting kind of looney.

    ”Let her act up,” she said; ”It may be the last time in her marriage she gets to be the center of attention.”

  52. It’s this that makes me glad I didn’t let anyone else take control. Otherwise I would have wound up not having the nice small wedding I wanted (30 guest plus me and the groom). I had no bridesmaids; he didn’t have a best man. We got married outside. I despise big weddings.

  53. My wife and I spent about $1000 – including the performing birds, her handmade dress, an outdoor wedding and a party with food for about 100 people. It helps to have friends.
    No grooms-men, no bridesmaids, 20 friends at the wedding and 100 at the reception (in our apartment).
    We celebrated our 15th anniversary this year.

  54. Does it seem to anyone else that these women are trying to hide something? Their relationships really suck, they’re completely insecure, or whatever? They want to create the illusion of perfection (if only for one day), because they’re so desperate for the approval of others. I think it’s really sad. Not just for their husbands, but for them too. My question is, why doesn’t anybody point out their flawed behavior? Or maybe the better question would be why no one taught them better manners and more self-awareness as a child?

  55. My siblings and I all got married within a few years of each other. This is just our experiences, but here goes:

    When my frigid bridezilla sister-in-law orchestrated her magic day, my sister and I were NOT bridesmaids. She had 12 co-worker bridesmaids that were all at least 15 years older than her, married, and rather shopworn. Somehow, there just wasn’t room in the ‘Cast of Thousands’ wedding party for her two slim, young future SIL’s. It was a HUGE, elaborate wedding, as if bridezilla were a long-lost princess from a fairy kingdom. They’re still married, but they have separate bedrooms and separate lives. That doesn’t show up in the statistics.

    My sister is a former high school cheerleader and veteran Mean Girl. She looked and looked but couldn’t find a dress grand enough for her big day. So my mom – who is a fantastic seamstress – designed and sewed her a giant, royal-looking dress out of white silk and Alencon lace. Everything went wrong that day, from the swampy weather to the toilets in the reception hall backing up. She and her husband are actually HAPPILY married, with no separate bedrooms.

    I got married by a justice-of-the-peace for $65 while wearing hiking boots and jeans. Several months after the fact, we threw a reception. He wore the tux he owned as a DJ and I wore my mom’s old wedding dress and we hired a local Mexican restaurant to serve enchiladas and beer in a backyard. My X and I got divorced after 8 years. Averaged out on a per-year basis, yes, we were married at a bargain rate, but I personally don’t feel there is a correlation between bridezilla behavior and divorce or marital happiness.

    It’s not like the bridezillas have a sudden personality change – they’ve probably always been a big pain in the butt.

  56. #74, don’t knock the separate bedrooms, people stay happily married for a long time doing that.

  57. They want to create the illusion of perfection (if only for one day), because they’re so desperate for the approval of others.

    You do realize that millennia of anecdotal evidence and behavioral research agree that prettier people have easier lives and are treated better by the people with whom they interact. Plastic surgery is as likely to get you a good job as a college education is.

  58. My future sister in law has changed her mind twice about what dresses we would wear as bridesmaids but the best part is she has changed her mind after the date has past where we can return the dresses so we are just stuck with 3 ugly expensive ($200-300 a dress) never going to wear again dresses. She constantly criticizes my family especially my sister because she does not like the way she dresses it “looks frumpy and lazy” she’s 6 months pregnant and wears normal maternity clothes. I was told to loose weight even though I weigh 140 and I’m 5’11” and on top of that, no bridesmaid is supposed to be taller than her at the wedding. I’m having a hard time with figuring out how this one is going to work because she is only about 5’6″ so unless she gets some stripper heels and I go shoeless I’m going to be taller. There is an entire week of events planned before the wedding which is NOT a destination wedding. When I say a week I mean breakfast, lunch, dinner, and daily activities centered on HER not the wedding of her to my brother, just her. I’m actually surprised that she hasn’t asked me to get butt or breast implants or for my sister to just go a head and deliver the baby 3 months early so she will look up-to-par for the wedding. She doesn’t get sarcasm and will not listen to any comments made about her behavior. It’s really strange she just blocks out anything that she doesn’t want to hear because this is ‘her day.’ What the hell is wrong with my brother? I PRAY they don’t have children.

Comments are closed.