"You're a Bad Mommy!" 1941 Fletcher's Castoria magazine advertisement

The blog "I'm Learning to Share!" asks, "How many things can you find wrong with this old magazine ad?"

Mark Frauenfelder is the founder of Boing Boing and the editor-in-chief of MAKE and Cool Tools. Twitter: @frauenfelder. Come and hear Mark speak at the ALA conference in Chicago on July 1.

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SamF

Well, if not mom, who used to regularly stick a hose up YOUR ass?

:D
B Dagger Lee

It’s a good thing Fletcher’s Castoria came to the rescue, since the next step would have been attended by an “enema tantrum.”
Shrdlu

I wonder what they will say of today’s advertisements 50 years from now. I’m guessing they will think we were puerile idiots obsessed with sex and fake boobs.

I don’t think we’ve evolved much. I saw a mother slap her child for begging for things at Toys ‘R’ Us. Imaging that: you take a kid to a toy store and they want things.

Misguided as the mother in the ad may seem by today’s standards, at least she had her child’s best interest at heart, which is more than I can say for many parents I know.
bcsizemo

I always feel “my roots” when I have to explain to people (at least around my age 29) the scene in Stand By Me where Lard Ass drinks a bottle of Castor oil and eggs a raw egg….

You can still buy castor oil in most places around here. Not that, that is going to be my choice of laxatives…

I do love the fact everything I buy now has at least 20+% of my daily fiber.
friendlysoviet

This one is easy. After the kid started showing her mom sass, the mom didn’t beat the kid into submission

And I thought parents today were bad.
Deidzoeb

“Good mommies don’t use violence to teach that violence is wrong!”
cabbotage

Ha ha, very funny, but it’s a trick question. There is in fact nothing wrong with that ad.
sonny p fontaine

looks like she’s waiting for an enema in panel 2
arkizzle

There’s something mildly icky about describing a laxative as ‘thorough’.. can’t help imagining the process, but with added volume and vigour. Splash-back, anyone?
zandar

“A remedy for masturbation which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision”

Yes, I can personally attest that when my parents circumcised me at the age of eight, it sure taught me a lesson!

That is, that sex and blood and pain go merrily hand in hand.
airship

I knew one guy my parents’ age who had been given enemas all through childhood and had bowel problems for the rest of his life. It’s not nice to fool mother nature.
nigelstwin

Where’s Milkman Dan to add to this fracas?
Anonymous

Ah yes, the “good ole days”.

As a child in the 60′s, I remember my mother spiking my bottle of choclate milk with “Milk of Magnesia” when I was still in diapers. What was she thinking?

I always knew something was up as she suspiciously looked at me to make sure I drank it down like she was trying to poison me or something.

Oh well I guess it was better than the suppositories she tried to stick up my brothers butt.
SamF

Well, at least she sputtered all over the carpet before the laxative, and not after.
ROSSINDETROIT

This is how new mothers learn. From now on she’ll know that “Slap the shit out of her” is just a figure of speech.
buddy66

SAMF,

What are you getting at? The answer is, Nobody, motherfucker!
Takuan

well, now you know why your parents are so fucked up
DunkinDo

“She hates it, and this time she simply refused to take it. I tried to force it down her and she sputtered it all over the carpet. So I slapped her and said she was a bad girl.”

This sounds a lot like my love life.
Aloisius

Wait, why were they giving laxatives to children? Did everyone take laxatives?
- Antinous
  
  Forcing children to shit was a popular pastime in the mid twentieth century. I suspect that moving to a carb-based diet in the eighties took care of the problem.
  
  And Aloisius, why did you switch to a new BB account in June?
Mim

Aloisius – Obviously she needs the laxatives to push Mommy’s bad cooking through. If she thinks Castoria tastes good, just imagine what dinner must be like.
Anonymous

Well, my Mom believed in castoria…. I hated the taste and can not see how that girl in the ad enjoyed the taste. I begged for an enema instead of that dreaded castoria..
Sister Y

Antinous, it wasn’t just a pastime, it was a well-known cure for spermatorrhea and nymphomania.
- Antinous
  
  Mommy used to take care of so many things in the old days.
Aloisius

@Antinous

I saw someone posting as Anthropomorphic Toast somewhere and thought to myself, “I need a new username!” I have a picture and everything that goes along with it, but BB’s image upload for the profiles is broked.
- Antinous
  
  I’ve been trying to get that photo thing fixed, but no luck so far. We prefer that users have one account, so I’m going to disable your previous account unless you’d rather go back to that one.
RJ

“Laxative tantrum.” Also called a “shit fit.” Sputtering all over the carpet, the walls, the skylight.

“It really works!” :D
Amandarama

“It takes the laxative or it gets the hose again.”

Castor oil. *shudder*
arkizzle

Ha! According to QI and wikipedia, cornflakes were originaly developed by Dr Kellogg as an aid to combatting masterbation, through better diet :)

Some of his words on the subject:

A remedy for masturbation which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision. The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment. In females, the author has found the application of pure carbolic acid [phenol] to the clitoris an excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement.

..The Cornflake Giver, also taketh away :(
buddy66

#24 Aloisius,

Yeah, pretty much. Very bowel-conscious years. I remember getting ”wormed” a couple of times too! I didn’t have any goddamn worms, but one of my ”country” grandmothers, or g-grandmothers, talked us into drinking some noxious concoction for a week or so. No worms, of course, just cries of disgust.

But Ex-Lax was big, and every family had a story about one of the kids ”eating the chocolates” by mistake and shitting themselves half to death.

The good old crappy days.
rfenno

Anybody else remember Nicolas Slonimsky and the wonderful version of Castoria he used to sing when he was well into his nineties? I believe he used the song to demonstrate how he learned to speak English when he arrived in the USA in the thirties.Or maybe he wrote it as a jingle! (Ah brain cells!)

Google Slonimsky and Castoria and . . . well here you are! Listen to the MP3 files, but look for no amusement until Nicky starts SINGING a couple minutes into the track.

What a delight to hear the old man again!
Anonymous

The first thing I though of was the section on Mussolini in Wikipedia’s castor oil article. Kinda horrifying.
buddy66

I have a picture and everything that goes along with it, but BB’s image upload for the profiles is broked.

Yeah, I WANT TO DO A PICTURE TOO. So you can see what kind of tough motherfucker you’re dealing with.
Aloisius

@antinous

Nope. I like my current one. Feel free to delete the other one!
- Antinous
  
  Thanks
therealpotato

Senna does not cause nausea… unless you have Crohn’s and then it’ll land you in the hospital. -shudder-
Lilorfnannie

I once knew someone that was into naturopathic-hippie-herbal type medicine. Her kids were mostly grown by the time I knew her but she told me she used to give them enemas. Not because they had any special medical conditions, but because she thought it was good for them. ****eeeeep****

It may or may not be coincidence that she is someone who is no longer in my life for various other reasons, and I’m just ecstatic about that fact.
holtt

There’s a temptation to photoshop this to put Bush in the role of grumpy child and Cheney in the role of mom. Not sure who the nurse would be. Suggestions?
- Antinous
  
  Condi
Drew from Zhrodague

I think I am lucky that I’ve never needed a laxaitive. In my mid twenties, I ate half a box of prunes — the ones with the orange flavor added. I just like fruit in general, any kind and in any way. I probably ate about half the box in one siting, just munching away at the tasty little blobs. I learned an amusing but harsh lesson over the next couple of days. Now I kinda eye the boxes of prunes at the grocery store as they remind me how tasty dried fruit is, but I don’t dare eat that many ever again.
gilowyn

@ #30 – read “The road to Wellville” – it’s the Kellog’s story, kind of. Hilarious.

And I am sorry, looking at this advertisement… now I now what’s wrong with marketing today! Today’s ads just don’t hit the spot the way they did back then…
amylink

“laxative tantrums” strikes me as a really great band name waiting to be snagged.
eustace

Nah, Karen Hughes (far more nursey).
Squirrel X

Deleted scene: Mommy hadn’t let Mary “eliminate” and found out how well the laxative worked when she gave her a squeezy hug…
Mike

Some how I made it to the fourth panel befofe realizing the laxtive in question wasn’t a suppository.

“she sputtered it all over the carpet.” Ewwwww.
trr

TimQuinn, cow-orker is a pretty popular term on the internets nowadays. I don’t know why. I’m just complying by using it.

Funny thing is, we used to get this stuff when my sisters and I were kids when we had colds, or so I remembered. I had no idea it was a laxative. My grandma used to give me prune juice to drink all the time when I was little too, although I had some idea why.
trr

TimQuinn,
Here’s a better explanation (and funnier) than mine:
http://ask.metafilter.com/15649/coworkers-why
mdhatter

You’re not alone Mike. Not at all.
eustace

…and that is clearly NOT Margaret Hamilton. Margaret Hamilton was a saint; besides, she had the option of running home, putting on costume and makeup, running back and SCARING the …
(lost connection)
Stefan Jones

The whole childhood laxative market went into freefall after Wonder Bread stopped cutting its flour with Plaster of Paris.
Phikus

AMYLINK@40: I was thinking the same thing. “Ladies and gentlemen I give you: Laxative Tantrums!”

Definitely w/o a “the” preceding it. Let’s do it! Do you play an instrument? Where do you live? With a few martinis in the right company, it could be commercial…
holtt

“You’re a bad adviser!” I could hardly believe my ears! Was this my little GW talking to me! Why, I tried so hard to be a good and wise adviser. But here was my little George looking at me as if he hated me!

It all started when George needed a war. He hates compromise and he simply refused to budge. I tried to force the UN plan and he sputtered it all over the carpet. So I slapped him and said he was a bad girl. Then came the tantrum!

I’d seen those war powers tantrums before, but this time it upset me more than ever. I was moping on the porch when I saw the radical hawk passing by. So I called to her and asked her advice. (She knows so much about war and spin.)

“All advisers should think more about the legacy they give their children,” the hawk said. “Forcing a child to take a bad tasting legacy can shock her delicate electorate system. And it’s so unnecessary. Why don’t you try Fear, Uncertainty and Death?”

“George will love the taste of Hawk Brand FUD. And you can be sure it’s deniable — but always mild and safe. It’s made especially for children and there isn’t a single amendment in it. I’m positive it will solve your problem.”

Well I got a bottle of Hawk’s Brand FUD and made the big test. George took a shot and loved it! He hugged me and said I was the best adviser in the world! Hawk Brand FUD has solved George’s war problem ever since!

HERE IS THE POLITICAL BACKGROUND
Chief ingredient of Hawk’s Brand FUD is fear, uncertainty and death.
Medical literature says: (1) In most cases, FUD does not disturb the electorate or cause impeachment… (2) FUD works primarily in the lower classes… (3) In regulated dosages it produces easy elimination and has little tendency to cause lawsuit or culpability after use.

FUD is especially processed in extraordinary rendition to eliminate culpability and thus allow torturous activies.

FUD
The SAFE Spin for Presidents
Antinous

How about the fact that the school nurse is wearing a tiny trash can lid for a hat?
holtt

I’m not a bad president, you’re a bad advisor!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/29033839@N02/2743654020/
Shiron

@ Dunkindo:

Eat more pineapple.
trr

“eliminate griping”?
Hmmm, do you suppose I could surreptitiously add it to cow-orkers coffee?
SomeGuyinATL

This stuff was still around in the 70s, because my mom used to give me this stuff. I can still taste it now, it was horrible!

She only gave it to me after a firm slap, maybe that’s why I’m so messed up!
Dan

And another little soldier in the fight against Communism poops free and easy!

Hallelujah!
altgrave

the only things i really find wrong are that the first woman was allowed to have children, and the second allowed to nurse (ahem) them.
Anonymous

“laxative tantrum”
That’s that video with the two girls on the one cup , right?

Also, what a great name for a band.
SeamusAndrewMurphy

This sort of thing gives constipation a good name (as if it didn’t already have one, the little darling).
mdhatter

‘her delicate nervous system’!?!

Oh. My.
timquinn

Hey TRR,

How does one ork a cow? Sounds like fun!
buddy66

Nobody notices that the ”school nurse” is Margaret Hamilton?
jennfrank

Interesting analog: the book “Consuming Kids,” which is about effective (but damaging!) marketing targeting children, also focused on the longstanding cultural precedent of “guilting” parents into purchases. Even the benign slogan “kid-tested; mother-approved” vaguely suggests to parents that “good” mothers would never deny their little angels the nutritional value of sugary puffed grains.
salsaman

Laxative Tantrum rocks– louder and messier than Gwar. Wear a slicker…
minamisan

ah, laxatives… are there any problems you cannot solve?
Phikus

Seems like there has been an awful lot of irregularity in practice to make one regular…
Blazorge

Wow! That’s messed up.
“I tried to force it down her and she sputtered it all over the carpet. So I slapped her and said she was a bad girl.”
Thank God the product is “safe” for children. Wouldn’t want to harm our little angel.
-B
Anonymous

I want to see if I can go my whole life without witnessing a “laxative tantrum.”
Falcon_Seven

Just wait until her mother finds the wire hangers in the closet.
ridl

the photoshop thing – should Babs be the nurse? (eek)
Frank_in_Virginia

I’m too pooped to comment.
Dan

Kid probably grew up to have a scat fetish after all that beating and forced pooping.
danwarning

normally i’d be all mopey cuz dan took what would’ve been my first choice for a boing boing name, but man, that guy just cracks me up, so eh!
buddy66

#37 Lilorfnannie:

Her kids were mostly grown by the time I knew her but she told me she used to give them enemas. Not because they had any special medical conditions, but because she thought it was good for them.

Imagine her childrens’ psychosexual terrain! What must it be like for an adult to remember Mama as the woman who used to regularly stick a hose up your ass?