Playing the Presidential Election Dozens (aka yo mama political fights on Twitter)

There is an epic presidential election themed Yo Mamma Fight going down on Twitter right now. I follow Matt Haughey and Anil Dash, so I saw bits of it in their tweets and, thinking myself clever, tossed out a few and foolishly tried to keep up. But then Anil pointed to the super duper momma-lode, between Fernando Rizo and Lore Sjöberg. Realizing I was out of my league, I gave up and am blogging some of theirs instead:

# Yo mama so fat, she authorized a $700 billion bailout of Dairy Queen.

# yo mama so fat, she thinks the G8 is a Value Meal.

# Yo mama so fat, her other biography is called "The Audacity of Hardee's.

# Yo mama so fat, the only Supreme Court verdict she wants to overturn is HomeTown Buffet v. Yo Mama.

# Yo mama so fat, she thinks sub-prime is a steak cut.

# Yo mama so fat, McCain refers to her as "Those Ones."

# Your mama so fat, when they asked which menus she reads, she said "You know, all of 'em."

# Yo mama's so ugly, Obama said "You can put lipstick on a pig and it would look a lot like yo mama on dollar margarita night."

# you moms so fat ACORN registered her to vote *three* times.

# Yo moms so fat Russia can see her from *their* house.

# Yo mama such a ho, the tab for the federal bailout plan is "700 billion dollars, plus fifty cents to have sex with yo mama."

# your mama so stupid she tried to arrange the genres on her iPod to put Country First.

# yo mama so fat McCain gives patronizing air quotes when he talks about the "health of yo mama"

Well played, dudes. Matt suggests this time-stamped Twitter search link to get you started in the relevant part of @anildash's feed.

• [Sef]

  Yo mama’s so fat she calls Joe the Plumber when she gotta urinary tract infection.

  Yo mama’s so fat she eats all the wild animals and being made governor of Alaska was getting put on a diet.

  Yo mama’s so fat the hotel california told her to stop eating or she CAN leave.

  Ok, the fire alarm in the building just went off and I gotta evacuate.

• [YesBiscuit]

  Yo mama’s so fat, her campaign bus is the Bulging Talk Express.

• [starcadia]

  Yo mama’s so stupid, she already has plans to use all the change she’s been promised to play the slots.

• [ornith]

  Yo mama so fat, the housing bubble popped cause she sat on it.

  Yo mama so bad with money, even the feds won’t give her any.

  Yo mama so stupid, when she was a child they had to leave her behind.

  Yo mama so fat, Palin wants to hunt her from a helicopter, videotape the hunt, and market the film as a King Kong remake.

  Yo mama so ugly, she asked Obama for a kiss, and he changed his campaign logo to “O hell no”.

• [Drew Blood]

  Yo mama so fat she doesn’t know how many houses she sits around, but she really sits around them.

• [Cool Products]

  This made my day.

  “Yo mama such a ho, the tab for the federal bailout plan is “700 billion dollars, plus fifty cents to have sex with yo mama.”

  Haha.

• [zikzak]

  @ CRAGSAVAGE: I think the question of the hour, however, is: how fat is she?

• [martyingels]

  Yo mama so fat, Bill Ayers threw a bomb at her and she ATE it.

• [SamF]

  Lore Sjöberg is one hillarious dude. I used to love the Brunching Shuttlecocks.

  Oh, and:

  Yo momma’s so fat, they had to get the whole cast of SNL to play her.

• [joshmillard]

  Yo Iowa’s so fat, its exit polls are in Nebraska.

  @#3, cool thanks updating post!

  Matt being #3 introduces a certain mefi-specific cognitive dissonance to this whole thing.

• [indiebass]

  There needs to be some sort of compilation here. I keep having to leave my desk because I’m cracking up, but the Twitter interface (for those Luddites among us) is annoying and convoluted. =P Indiebass demands a list!

• [mokey]

  yo mama’s so lame, even her son jumped the shark!

• [Mike Harris]

  Yo momma so fat, West Virginia voting machines magically switch their votes from “Obama” to “Yo Momma” ’cause they afraid she gonna sit on them.

  Yo momma’s such a ho, there’s a daily blog dedicated to her ho-i-ness called “Daily Hos”, run by Marhos Houlitsas.

  Yo momma so stupid and vegan, when someone tried to stake vampire McCain, she protested.

  Yo momma so vegan, she’s voting for McCain/Palin because every egg is precious.

  Yo momma so ugly, people say “What’s McCain doin’ in a dress?”

  Yo momma so fat, she ate all the vowels in a BoingBoing thread.

  And, to quote the Bard:

  Painter: “Y’are a dog.”
  Apemantus: “Thy mother’s of my generation. What’s she, if I be a dog?”

  – Timon of Athens, Shakespeare, Act I, Scene 1

  Demetrius: “Villain, what hast thou done?”
  Aaron: “That which thou canst not undo.”
  Chiron: “Thou hast undone our mother.”
  Aaron: “Villain, I have done thy mother.”

  – Titus Andronicus, Shakespeare, Act IV, Scene II

• [SamF]

  A two-parter:

  Yo momma’s so fat she’s got her own congressional district.

  Yo momma’s so fat her congressman is Bob’s Bigboy.

• [Keeper of the Lantern]

  Your mother’s so fat she jumped up into the sky and got stuck.

• [Antinous]

  Yo mama so ugly, even the Republicans don’t want to drill it.

• [starcadia]

  Yo mama’s so fat and stupid, she voted for Obama just so she could have a barrel of pork.

• [blue balaclava]

  simply put in ‘yo mama’ in search.twitter.com and it’s done.

• [starcadia]

  Yo mama’s so fat, her first diplomatic missions in office would be to sit down with Burger King and Dairy Queen.

• [Antinous]

  Yo mama so fat, Sarah Palin wanted to spend $200,000,000 of the taxpayers’ money to build a bridge to her, but kept the cash instead.

• [starcadia]

  Yo mama’s so fat, her face alone could give the U.S. independence from foreign oil.

  Yo mama’s so fat, her farts are considered rising world superpowers.

  Yo mama’s so fat and nasty, she could feed an entire African nation with the crumbs in her mustache.

• [alisong76]

  It must be a cultural thing – I didn’t know what a yo mama fight *was* until I saw the Robot Chicken Star Wars Special.

  I was, however, totally sold ;-))

• [starcadia]

  Yo mama’s so fat, her blood type is Class B Crude.

  Yo mama’s so fat and stupid, she thinks Colin Powell is a diarrhetic.

• [Matt Haughey]

  I’ve been enjoying them all with a twitter search for anildash

  • [Xeni “Hussein” Jardin]

    oh, that is a good idea! I wish there were an easier way to search and preserver sets of tweets like this. A search for a username will yield unrelated, unwanted stuff a few ways from now.

• [Matt Haughey]

  There are time-stamp URLs on twitter search. If you start on this URL, halfway down the page is the start by Anil and if you keep moving “newer” then there is about four pages of stuff.

• [Anonymous]

  Dash doesn’t get it.

  Just because this sort of thing has its roots in West African culture does not automatically mean it is about race. Something can be influenced by an identified race without being /about/ race.

  I mean, when I was in Africa, people did not point out to each other that they were, you know, dark skinned. They sort of already know.

  About the only argument he has is that this particular type of expression was filtered through early black American experience, which is very often all about racial differences. But since “The Dozens” are often about relating to each other as equals, even among an a group that is part of a social power relationship this is a bit of a stretch.

• [Alarming Female]

  Your mama so fat, when they asked which menus she reads, she said “You know, all of ‘em.”

  beautiful

• [Xeni “Hussein” Jardin]

  @#3, cool thanks updating post!

• [vorpalsword]

  Heehee. Just like I remember from childhood, except funnier…

  Yo mama so fat, McCain refers to her as “Those Ones.”
  Classic!

• [Anonymous]

  Yo mama such a ho, she wants to teach “comprehensive sex education” to kindergartners.

• [Mindpowered]

  Yo mama’s so fat she is the trade deficit with china.

  Yo mama’s so fat she is the budget deficit in California.

  Yo mama’s so fat when she stops eating the dow falls 300 points.

  Yo mama’s so fat when she stops eating Iceland goes bankrupt.

  Yo mama’ so fat the price of oil is linked to her trips to the grocery store.

  Yo mama’s so fat her bbq is a leading cause of global warming.

  Yo mama’s so fat she is a weapon of mass destruction.

  Yo mama’s such a ho, the recession will end when she puts her panties on.

  Yo mama’s so dumb that she thinks you can check into the “Hanoi Hilton”

  Yo mama’s so dumb she too, can see vladimir putins head floating over Alaska.

  Yo mama’s so fat they used her a storm surge barrier in Hurricane Ike.

  Ok. Enough.

• [Mindpowered]

  A couple more…

  Yo mama’s so fat, when she moves they need a new subdivsion.

  Yo mama’s so fat that when she doesn’t move mortgage lenders go bankrupt.

  Yo mama’s so fat she’s bigger than dick fuld’s compensation.

  Yo mama’s such a ho, in one night she earns more than dick fuld does in a year.

• [Phikus]

  Intergalactic yo mama battle.

• [Not a Doktor]

  Yo mama’s so ugly, she wandered into Ben Bernanke’s dressing room and no one noticed.

• [insomma]

  THIS made my morning. Thank you.

• [chgoliz]

  Anil himself posts this link to the exchange:

  http://dashes.com/anil/2008/10/yo-mamas-so-fat.html

• [Michael A]

  Yo mama so fat $150,000 only gets her one dress.

• [Mike Harris]

  Yo momma so nasty, she going to be head of Obama’s task force on alternative energies, because she’s an expert in natural gas.

  Yo momma so dumb, she was looking on the canned-food shelves for that new yeswe she keeps hearing about.

• [Cragsavage]

  I find this very offensive.

  Then again, my mama is fat.