By John Hodgman at 3:07 pm Fri, Oct 31, 2008
GREETINGS. This is John Hodgman writing at the witching hour (5:48PM EST).
It is Hallowe'en, and thus time to CRACK THE CRYSTAL SKULL at last.
Please see the enclosed video.
That is all.
Thank you, HODG-MAN! Now: please dissuade me from believing that this was recorded in the bedroom of your parents’ house.
This makes me wonder what sort of scary costume John Hodgman would wear on Halloween?
Happy Halloween funny man and fellow boingboingers!
Not even one hand makes a sound, clapping for this performance.
The scaffold is high and eternity’s near / She stood in the crowd and shed not a tear / But sometimes at night when the cold winds blow / In a long black veil she cries over JOHN HODGMAN’S bones
She walks these hills / In a long black veil / And visits JOHN HODGMAN’S grave / When the night winds wail / Nobody knows and nobody sees / Nobody knows but JOHN HODGMAN
I have noted over the years that those who proclaim … “that is all” … have a lot to say.
In the case of the esteemed Mr. Hodgman, this is delightful … as we can expect much more of it all.
I once knew a man, senior in his craft of software engineering, who used this phrase in abundance. Those junior to him in the craft, and one particular soul … a humble fellow himself, albeit powerful and wise … heard many rants from this as-of-now-unnamed senior craftsman. These rants would belittle and berate the humble junior craftsman to the point where his eyes would reveal his intense desire to crawl under his desk. … Each rant ended in the proclamation “And THAT is ALL!” … like the head of a nail slamming into soft wood … like the coffin lid slamming out the last light on earth.
Unfortunately for the humble junior engineer, it was not all, even for that particular minute … Within seconds the rant would be back with the next series; deluge even; of you-should-know-better comments on the subject of the hour … to be punctuated with another resounding “And THAT is ALL!”
This is hardly relevant, but for the fact that it was charming after a fashion, and left me with a fondness for the phrase “that is all.” A fondness ripe with the anticipation of what is to follow. Rich with the knowledge that all is never all.
In light of current company. This most delightful and anticipatory aspect of the phrase “that is all”, warms my heart … for I eagerly await what comes after the blogging, after the books, after the cracking of the crystal skull.
For wherever it is leading; proclamations of the finality of words aside; will surely titillate the masses with worthwhile meanderings of the mind, each of which, within it’s domain, I fully expect to be “all.”
That is all.
I’m confused. Was the witching hour not updated to use DST?
WARNING: DO NOT DRINK DIRECTLY FROM SKULL OR YOU WILL INVOKE THE CURSE!!!
Damn… Too late.
Which curse? (or is it witch curse, recursively speaking?)
Thank you for spelling Hallowe’en with the apostrophe intact. Far too often I see the bastardised version spelled Halloween.
Alright, I will be the first Easterner and pedant to correct the good Mr. Hodgman: Newfoundland is not a Maritime province. The Maritime provinces are Prince Edward Island, New Brunswick, and Nova Scotia. Add Newfoundland, and they become the Atlantic provinces.
I didn’t design it. It’s just like that.
Dang. I was hoping for the skull/spinal column beer bong treatment.
Happy Halloween, er, Hallowe’en ya’ll!
Man, my vodka isn’t half as sinister as yours is. And all it does is whisper random scenes from the Beverly Hillbillies at me.
I just bought your book, you crazy bastard.
Guys! Stop commenting now, 13 is the perfect number of…dammit. Now we have to keep going to 666. OR THE CURSE SHALL NEVER BE BROKEN.
The curse of Bela Lugosi?
So where can I buy a bottle? I have a friend who collects weird liquor bottles and he will need a christmas gift.
Tivoli product placement- no wonder you’re so rich.
John, are you wearing a clip-on tie by chance?
So where can I buy a bottle?
Look it up under Dan Akroyd.
Thanks MDH. I did indeed look it up, and now have my final proof that Dan Akroyd is indeed nuts.
By all accounts a lovely guy, but nuts.
that is a nice story. Cheers to you and Hodgman! tsl. it will become the new lol. Only we will all say it out loud.
…As posted before, I’ve talked to professional bartenders who’ve sampled Akroyd’s booze. “Turpentine” is the closest approximation to taste and effect. If people buy it, it’s just for the bottle, not the vodka.
I give this film a 6.
The producer could have been more creative with the lighting and there was not really enough diversity in the acting.
i thought there would be more… sigh…
Hey, his booze bottles talk to him like mine do!!!
See, I don’t have a problem!!!
I was going to mention that Newfoundland is not a maritime province but professorpolymath beat me to it.
Hodgman gets points for his pronunciation of Newfoundland though.
I hope he dressed up as a Mac for Halloween….
“…glycerin-like finish…” makes me smile so hard my jaw hurts. I’m going to use that line next time one of my wine aficionado friends asks me what I think of their latest find.
Kinda looks like this was filmed in the walk-up next door to the Parkside on Houston and Attorney behind the Chasam Sopher synagogue on Clinton St.
I keep expecting him to go all Jon Lovitz and become MASTER THESPIAN.
Drop Teresa a note about reinstating your account. Maybe I’m just not getting the joke.
BACK AT YA JH.
I enjoyed my bottle as well, but found it more “rough cut”, full flavored than some of the smoother “grey goose” styled spirits. Perfect for a hallowed eve.
Also, when you’ve off’d your bottle try filling it with liquids of other colors for fun effect. Think, milk, and perhaps best Chocolate milk. Now that is a Suped up Skull!
Submit a tip
The rules you agree to by using this website.
Who will be eaten first?
Jason Weisberger, Publisher
Ken Snider, Sysadmin