Mark Frauenfelder at 11:59 am Wed, Nov 19, 2008
ADVERTISE AT BOING BOING!
Watch carefully -- this information in this infomercial will "magically" pull us out of the Great Depression II.
I put on my robe and wizard’s hat
Well, as they say, sex sells. And people have been using sex to make money in various ways for a LONG time. I guess you could say it’s the original commodity!
no dirty vicar?
#5 Jarvik7. Funniest thing I’ve read in weeks. Thanks.
Wow. It’s like Baywatch for email.
Such magically maximized mammary glands
What man could malign such matriarchy?
‘twould marshall his mast stiff as a marrowbone
And maneuvre him to malignant materialism
I was watching my local news yesterday (WYFF) or and they showed a piece on how to make money on the internet– the piece discussed ebay, blogging, and I think a couple of other things. Then, when it came back to the local newscaster, he mentioned as examples of sites drudge, huffingtonpost (then said something about blogs in general that I don’t remember) and then said “boingboing.com” (yes, he said .com). So, three examples on his mind, and you guys are one of them!
Hey, are you completely clueless about… stuff?
Do you not know how… junk’n’stuff… works?
Does curiosity make you uncomfortable so you quickly think about products you’d like to purchase and make it go away?
Let me talk to you about an exciting opportunity!
ya know, we never did hear the Tarvuist official policy statement on this….
Turns out the internet isn’t a series of tubes at all. More of a series of boobs really.
Pull the string on Barbie’s back and she says, “Oooh, the internet is hard!”
So this is what porn stars do on their days off.
I for one welcome this new influx of magically amateur softcore porn websites.
it would be entertaining if it weren’t attached to the reality of the spam they must be pumping.
Bear Stearns webinar video, 2007:
[busty brunette in tight business suit]
“Just think about it; do you really know how your money magically appears in your checking account when you make a deposit? If you’re like me, you just endorse the check and away it goes, magically deposited.”
[busty blonde in tight business suit]
“Exactly. And these financial products work the same way. Just roll these mortgages that no one’s going to ever pay back into a few big, bouncy, glistening, collateralized debt obligations, and magically, you’ve got an investment that Moody’s has rated AAA. And you’re on your way to making money!”
Hey, how to you think this site got its name?
Boing, boing, boing, boing…
i can has magical boobsites?
yeah, just knockin’ one out at work…
Well, I guess the ways to make money on the internet are:
2. A scam that convinces rubes they can make money on the internet with no actual work, or
Sorry Arthur C. Clarke, but apparently at a sufficiently high enough level of technical and cultural development, the human is indistinguishable from a rock.
Wow, is it me or are Gabe and Max way hotter in this episode?
Russ Meyer said breasts were the cheapest special effect in movies.
Re ill lich’s remark:
I think you’ll find that option 1, like sufficiently advanced technology, is indistinguishable from option 3
This reminds me. . . I suddenly started liking Genesis P-Orrige’s music a lot more after he got those boobs put in.
Might consider this as a replacement for Unicorn Chasers. Magically so.
Does anyone here ACTUALLY know how boobs work?
says the artificial heart
Thanks for stealing my video, CollegeHumor.com. Be sure to subscribe to my videos so you don’t have to wait 2 months to steal!
boobly boob, boob, boob, magic, monkey.
I think they show this commercial on COM channel to the guys that what the girls gone wild commercials.
This also like the guy with the make money with question marks suit.
I think these magic webistes likely involve breasts, given the commercial.
i think my pants just, magically, got tighter.
I saw this infomercial on tv a few months ago. It was a whole day’s worth of cleavage stuffed into half an hour. Now THAT is magic. Three cheers for softcore infomercials!
I for one welcome our large breasted airheaded…
Oh wait wrong site
They really need to put “Don’t be a spammer” PSAs on during Saturday Morning Cartoons so that the next generation will regard these people as the con men that they are.
I mean just think about it, do you really know how the internet works? If you’re like me, you just know how to type into the search box and click the search button and – magically – find boobies!
Argh. They said ‘magically’ so many times in a row that the word now means nothing and sounds all weird to me o_0
their lips were moving, but I magically remember nothing they were talking about..
Look, I just typed in a box and it was magically posted to the internet!
One click, even!
Those are some magic tits.
For one, magic is never told. She seems to adhere to 1973 office politics, alienating women’s wisdom and reducing it to ‘can you see why i’m so happy? My sugar daddy is taking good care of me!’ rhetoric. Please.
Seen from a mile away, in more ways than one.
Sounds like a boobs way to earn a little extra boobs on the side.
What if I do know how email works?
Oh.. where has the magic gone :(
I just substituted “through a system of information exchange protocols” for “magic” when watching the video and it didn’t seem so stoopid.
And are they slyly suggesting that putting pictures of boobies on the internet can make you money?
Those websites magically spewing out of the monitor at the end of the clip just magically made me feel like I was tripping magically hard.
there were boobs there?
(see, mom? the gay is still working!)
The word â€œmagicâ€ is the new â€œmaverickâ€
so THAT’s how it’s done!! SHIT! And I thought this innerweb stuff was hard…
Why did they cut away to all those titles and stuff?
I didn’t even click the mouse. I just hit
Did anyone notice the boobs?
It’s not a big truck. It’s a series of boobs.
Who listened to it? What a pair of persuaders!
Your BLOG is CLOGING my MAGIC MONEY TUBES!</zippy>
eeny-meeny, chili-beany, those boobies are about to speak! are they friendly boobies? let’s listen!
They love that word, “Magicly”. What year is this anyway? It looks about 20-30 years old.
I really hate any of those TV ads that try to convince people they can be rich instantly from their home through reselling houses (with seemingly very little work, like remodeling a junk house.) or buying and selling stocks. It always seems like a sham to me.
I like the subtlety behind the font and color in “YOUR” at the top.
My first thought was … Is this a Yahoo thing?
I suppose you don’t try to rip off number one and make it look like a google page.
… oh and boobies
I clicked a link on Twitter and these boobs magically appeared.
Darn it. I may have accidentally posted while logged in as my brother. Sorry.
Whatever you do, DON’T CLICK 4 TIMES!
isn’t this whole spiel about selling people directions on how to set up affiliate sites and listing services?
seemed like it.
I clicked on a link on Titter and these boobs magically appeared.
oh crap! she must be a palin! like magically!
As we all know (thanks to ACC):
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
worthy of being said again:
magic = tittays
I expected them to start talking about muggles and quidditch.
They’d probably drum up a bit more business if they were just naked.
breasts + anything = better
I defy someone to prove this equation wrong.
You were right! I watched carefully and her cleavage magically pulled me out a depression.
@74 — you turn a nice phrase.
No discussion of computer magic would be complete without a link to the old “more magic” story: http://catb.org/jargon/html/magic-story.html
we ARE NOT going there.
At least not without lube.
Goddamn it, and here I was hoping that I could make money with Internet magic, but all I got is cleavages.
By the way, what language were they speaking? I wasn’t paying attention.
those don’t have the right squish, but I’m loving their bounce
“Wonder Twins Activate! In The Form Of… Gazongas!”
Watch how when we wear extremely low-cut tops, and lean slightly forward, (perhaps due to the weight of these boobs), our viewers become magically transfixed.
Ohhhh, all the magic some boobs can bring to our pityfull world. That comforts me.
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