The Gonad Gourmet

Discuss

50 Responses to “The Gonad Gourmet”

  1. arkizzle says:

    SMGrady

    Or, you know.. use Viagra.

  2. pizzaboxbeercan says:

    Yuk…I remember seeing an episode of ‘Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern’ and he was somewhere, I believe in Asia, and had to eat some testicles from a goat or bull. The look on his face was priceless!

  3. roundabout says:

    i prefer my balls raw, if you get my drift

  4. Takuan says:

    is testosterone thermolabile?

  5. redogre says:

    For curios people about the taste, it is smooth and a little bit sweet, very easy to eat.

    #29, I think his face was changing not from the taste but from the idea. Come on, that guy ate live worms …

    I am sure that 80% would like the taste if they ate it without knowing what it is.

    And why am I a fan of testicals? Actually I am not, but it is a regional taste, which is dying because of american driven homogenous fast food culture. People eat Mc Donalds and then tell me that testicals are gross. Buy a burger, wait for an hour, eat it and then tell me which is gross.

    I eat brain salad, I eat kokorec which is sheep intestines, I eat liver, I eat kidneys, I drink soup made from cow stomach. And all of these will be lost in ten years because of EU food regulations. Because a wise guy says these are not healthy. Yes, you should not consume these things often but I can never accept that a fatty, calorie bursting, colesterol pumping burger is healthy nad testicals are not…

  6. Gilbert Wham says:

    #16: Wait, that lulu.com place is real? And so is the semen book? I thought it was some Onion-style trolling. Fucking hell.

  7. klg19 says:

    I’m with redogre.

    I had lamb testicles in a tart lemon sauce about 25 years ago, at a Lebanese restaurant in what is now the Koreatown neighborhood of Manhattan. I had been taken to this restaurant by a Lebanese co-worker, and when he pointed out the lambs’ balls I think he was doing it as a dare. Well, I called his bluff, and I ordered them.

    They were spectacularly delicious. Tender, sweet, and a sort of concentrated essence of lamb flavor (which makes sense, considering).

    I feel so sorry for the average American, whose cultural preconceptions prevent him or her from trying the unconventional. These things seem strange only because we are unaccustomed to them, not because of any inherently strange qualities. We eat so many other parts of these animals, from their rumps to their feet to their tongues–why should their testicles be so unthinkable?

    I’m happy I was raised by adventurous eaters!

  8. Matt Staggs says:

    I feel so sorry for the average American, whose cultural preconceptions prevent him or her from trying the unconventional. These things seem strange only because we are unaccustomed to them, not because of any inherently strange qualities. We eat so many other parts of these animals, from their rumps to their feet to their tongues–why should their testicles be so unthinkable?

    Every culture holds its own preconceptions about what is unthinkable or inedible. This isn’t a quality exclusive to Americans.

    That being said, I’m not eating anything’s testicles, although I hasten to add that there are plenty of common American foods that I don’t have any interest in eating either.

  9. jjasper says:

    You need to post this stuff BEFORE the unicorn Chaser. Not after.

  10. Takuan says:

    “The testicles of the right whale are likely to be the largest of any animal, each weighing around 500 kg (1,100 lb).”

  11. Anonymous says:

    And if you eat the heart of your opponent, you gain his courage.

    It’s so /obvious/.

  12. dbarak says:

    #33 posted by Takuan

    How big on a SPERM whale?

  13. gr00veNU says:

    @11 dannysland:

    you totally reminded me of these and i think they will make the perfect stocking stuffer for that special zombie in your life:

    http://boingboing.net/2008/10/28/horrified-bmovie-vic.html

    though really i’m sure it would be just as happy to get one of these:

    http://www.mcphee.com/items/10375.html

  14. pseudonym says:

    Hey, you don’t need to go any further than Schweaty balls. Call up NPR and get the recipe.

  15. arkizzle says:

    Nooooooooo!

  16. Lauren O says:

    Why do they have a picture of someone chopping up a potato on the cover of a testicle cookbook?

    …Oh, wait.

  17. mdh says:

    “And I’m just itching to tell you about them
    Oh we had such wonderful fun
    Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish
    (But we’ve got the biggest balls of them all)”

  18. Teresa Nielsen Hayden / Moderator says:

    Tcha. Slywy @10 is right — it’s this kind of nonsense that gets bears and tigers and rhinos killed off to supply quack aphrodisiacs.

    That said, Rocky Mountain oysters can be very tasty if they’re prepared correctly. If you’re in Montreal, eat at Au Pied de Cochon and see if they’re on the menu. If they aren’t, eat something else.

  19. MadFist says:

    “Ouch.”

  20. dbarak says:

    Aside from both of us being vegetarian, my wife’s allergic to nuts.

  21. pseudonym says:

    Sir, you have my sympathy.

  22. Takuan says:

    wonder if any particular toxins tend to concentrate there?

  23. arkizzle says:

    Pseudonym: haha!

    dbarak, mine too :(

  24. Chairboy says:

    In the immortal words of Mexican Shakespeare:

    “Gracias, para no gracias.”

  25. Blackbird says:

    Takuan:
    Doubtful. Though I’m not a scientist, the balls don’t really filter anything. Toxins would be found in the kidneys, liver, and possibly the spleen. That is of course if they’ve been exposed to toxins…

  26. stickyfinger says:

    A long time ago.

    The way to prepare them was fresh from the calf. We’d place a shovel, upturned in the branding fire, and toss them on to fry as we emasculated. The little ones were best, or at least they’d cook completely through … that helped with the rather unpalatable brain-like texture. Not bad, at least, not a waste.

  27. slywy says:

    It’s nonsense like this that’s helping to kill off tigers, bears, et al.

  28. dannysland says:

    I hate this kind of magical thinking — eat part X of an animal and it will give you quality X of that animal.

    By that logic, zombies should be really smart… since they eat brains.

  29. Takuan says:

    load of bollocks

  30. Colonist says:

    Last week Megan Carpentier of Jezebel along with Kay Steiger, Latoya Peterson, Ann Friedman, and Spencer Ackerman recorded a vlog of them using the cookbook to make an extra savory meal. Quite funny.

  31. jaruzek says:

    That’s a good companion to “Natural Harvest – A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes”
    http://www.lulu.com/content/4956212

  32. Elvis Pelt says:

    “rather unpalatable brain-like texture”…sign me up!

    Oh wait, no.

  33. arkizzle says:

    Jaruzek

    The comments in the semen-book link are hilarious, complete with other outraged commenters who aren’t getting the fun at all..

  34. tgjerusalem says:

    I wouldn’t count on sudden sexual charge, but I’d try them if given the chance. Pretty much anything can be tasty if prepared by someone who knows what they’re doing, and by the time it gets to your plate I doubt it’s any more identifiable than any other cut of meat.

    Where would one buy it in the US, though? Or find it in a restaurant?

  35. buddy66 says:

    Too late. Wait…

    elephants?

  36. Anonymous says:

    Where the heck can one order bull balls on-line?
    Thanks

  37. Teller says:

    “multimedia” Perfect for my daughter’s prom date.

  38. Ernunnos says:

    #40, just show up at the Rock Springs Cafe the first Saturday of the month October-May for the “Hogs in Heat BBQ & Nut Fry”. All-you-can-eat Rocky Mountain Oysters. Live country music, and generally a bunch of bikers hanging out and having a good time.

  39. redogre says:

    Bull testicals are consumed in Turkey (well some parts and some people only), and sexual power thing is mentioned as a joke. Although I didn’t cook any last year (my house mate can’t stand even the thought of it) there was a time I used to eat every now and then, and believe me sexual power thing is only placebo effect.

    Although they taste good, please don’t torture your self hoping for a viagra effect. Eat them if you are open to new tastes..

  40. SpeckledJim says:

    One of those parts of an animal that, like brain and tongue, you can identify instantly from the texture. It’s not really like brain, more fibrous and chewy.

  41. aarrgghh says:

    you folks haven’t lived til you’ve sucked on my chocolate salty balls!

  42. ROSSINDETROIT says:

    AAAUUUGH! My eyes!
    Quick! Look at these pictures of duckies and puppies.

  43. 1adam12 says:

    Last month we had, what, a guest blogger who created an entire post about movies with castration scenes? And now this.

    No. Just, no.

    • Antinous says:

      Last month we had, what, a guest blogger who created an entire post about movies with castration scenes? And now this.

      Waste not; want not.

  44. ackpht says:

    The perfect Xmas gift for my soon-to-be-ex brother-in-law.

  45. smgrady says:

    To get a testosterone (viagra) effect, I think you’d have to liquefy and inject the testicles into you, because the acid of your stomach will destroy complex proteins. So if you were troubled by eating them, or disturbed by cooking them, try that for size.

  46. Anonymous says:

    Frenzal’s have been singing about this for years:
    http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=iJgaN44t8oo

    Moderator note: Click this link at your own risk.

  47. frankieboy says:

    “Ever since I was a little boy I listened to the elderly talking about testicles”!! Too funny. I can picture the little nipper in his knee britches eyes agog with wonder! The best part would be when Grampy called a time out to serve fromunda cheese on toast. Ah, the good old days.

  48. Jonathan says:

    I don’t see what the problem is — eating this stuff looks like fun.

    I mean, you could really have a ball.

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