Police blotter: baby or burrito?


41 Responses to “Police blotter: baby or burrito?”

  1. MarlboroTestMonkey7 says:

    Now, burrito in spanish is little donkey. So, did someone threw one in the dump? Not wonderful, shame on you, David!

  2. brokebutstilldrinking says:

    Moments later, a citizen witnessed one of the responding officers eating the evidence.

  3. Bucket says:

    I used to work across the street from the Mountain View Wallyworld, and I can totally understand this. If I saw anything even remotely baby shaped in a garbage can, I’d assume the worst as well.

  4. Sean Craven says:

    I shouldn’t do this but this report reminded me irresistibly of a brief passage in my novel. The protagonist is in the process of cleaning the women’s restroom in a department store — and yeah, this did happen to me. (If you lived in Santa Cruz, CA before the Loma Prieta quake you can very likely guess which department store this is…)


    I had a bad moment when I was changing the jellyroll bags. These were the glossy coated paper sacks that lined the tampon bins. I had just pulled one out of the holder and the sheer weight of it frightened me. I hefted it, guessing four or five pounds, and knew that when I opened it I was going to see a miscarriage, a tiny little blood-covered hand beckoning…

    Dirty diaper. I cannot describe my relief, and my confusion as to why the hell it had been put there rather than in the trash.

  5. Richard Girth says:

    I would like to order a #1 xl baby, no beans, extra napkins and a diet coke please.

  6. David Pescovitz says:

    Thanks, Bonzo!

  7. Shelby Davis says:

    @ vespabelle 26:

    Hold on, I’ve got Anne Geddes on the line…

  8. Seth Goldin says:

    This is clearly a case of pereidolia.


  9. Anonymous says:

    Officer F. Bastard on the scene. Nothing to see here, people. *om nom nom nom*

  10. Anonymous says:

    I laughed when I read this, not because it could have been a baby but because as a former Mountain View and Sunnyvale(they are right next to each other)resident, the police blotters were notorious for not having “real crimes.”

    It was not, and still isn’t, unusual to have the police blotters in this general area (MV, SV, Menlo Park, Atherton, PA, etc.)mention “crimes” like:

    - A resident was disturbed when a car alarm went off at 2AM
    - A lose dog was wandering the neighborhood *the dog never attacked anyone or even threatened anyone
    - A car parked more than 24 ours on the street was reported to the police

    and it goes on and on and on…

    As I always tell my husband, these are the types of “crime” I want in my neighborhood. :-)


  11. chumpmeat says:

    What kind of holiday would Christmas be if the three wise men had been similarly mistaken? Answer: my kind of holiday!

  12. Plorange says:

    The newspaper clippings blog, Criggo, found this back in september. They have a load of other gems too.


  13. Baldhead says:

    okay.. I first saw this like a few minutes after first seeing “chocolate rain”. Is BB going to do a post about nigerian princes wanting to stash their money next?

  14. mgfarrelly says:

    Upon even further inspection, the burrito was found to be delicious.

  15. rhys says:

    somewhere, the ghost of bill hicks says: “that’s the story of jesus”

  16. Anonymous says:

    I saw this one before on Oddee.com: http://www.oddee.com/item_96447.aspx. They’ve got more great police blotters & other wonderful photo galleries..

  17. vespabelle says:

    Makes sense to me. We used to swaddle our baby and call her, pretend to put rice and salsa on top of her, and call her “burrito baby.”

  18. schr0559 says:

    A Mexican restaurant in Seattle advertises that their burritos are the size of a baby:


    I’ve been there. Best baby I’ve eaten in a long time.

  19. myob1776 says:

    He had his father’s frijoles.

  20. Ugly Canuck says:

    Strange way to advertise food…”as big as a baby”.
    What’s next, diner advertising claiming “portions as big as your head”?

  21. Barry Foy says:

    ONLY a burrito?! Which would you rather have?

  22. a random John says:

    Looks like somebody took a trip to La Costeña (or one of the other members of the Burrito Triangle) and then misplaced his lunch.

  23. jmullan says:

    Either way, I’m eatin’ it!

  24. Brainspore says:

    The Mexican place by my work offers burritos in two sizes, “regular” (which is actually pretty big) and “baby.”

  25. Anonymous says:

    While I’m glad the trashcan baby turned out to be a burrito, a wiser choice would have been to take their burrito to Nebraska and take advantage of their safe haven law. I hear they’d accept unwanted burritos up to 18 years old.

  26. Brainspore says:

    Come to think of it, I’m hungry. I think I’ll get a “super baby” burrito right now. (That’s a reasonable size, but comes with guacamole and sour cream.)

  27. Anonymous says:

    The dingo’s got my burrito!

  28. Clayton Hove says:

    This could possibly explain the much-disputed origins of the Flying Burrito Brothers.

  29. minTphresh says:

    somewhere in my vast paper collection, i have a clipping from an atlantic city newspaper police blotter that said someone found a penis in the buffet lasagne tray that either belonged to “a person, or small mammal.” never another word about it in subsequent papers.

  30. Bonzo McGrue says:

    It’s real. I saw it about 10 years ago, published in the police blotter of the Palo Alto Daily news. It was subsequently featured by Jay Leno on The Tonight Show.

  31. aldasin says:

    It was both!

  32. mikeout says:

    Okay, seriously, there’s a Mexican restaurant called Lucky Star Cafe in Carson, CA. Their burritos are *HUGE*, like Sack-of-Flour huge. You know that guy on Austin Powers? He eats these burritos and feels satisfied. Still, you think they would have actually confirmed it was a baby and not, you know, a burrito before calling the cops.

  33. bwcbwc says:

    As long as the taquerias don’t start selling Burritos like In ‘n’ Out burger sells burgers. I dread the thought of a “Baby” burrito “Animal Style”. Sounds like you’re eating Bambi.

  34. Anonymous says:

    Wal-Mart Shopper Fail.

  35. Quasimondo says:

    It might have looked something like this: http://aviary.com/artists/mario/images/a_burrito_is_born

  36. consideredopinion says:

    Hmmm…baby, now that’s not a meat I’ve tried in my burrito yet. *g*

  37. guy_jin says:

    did they check to make sure the burrito wasn’t made out of baby?

  38. padster123 says:

    I guess that counts as a heart-warming story for the festive season. Kind of.

  39. urshrew says:

    Its a sad world we live in where someone could just throw a burrito away like it was a baby.

    Don’t they know there are college students with the munchies who can’t have burritos of their own?

  40. richrivers says:

    So the tortilla was the *swaddling clothes* and the beef, cheese, chile and refried beans was the the baby?

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