More games: Summarize the year

We promised there'd be more games and contests, so here we are again. We're planning to run at least one a week. Naturally, your ideas and suggestions are welcome.

Here's this week's challenge: Everybody and their brother are doing year-end wrap-ups this week. Strike back! Write your own!

To be more specific: Summarize 2008. If you want, you can narrow it down and summarize the year in Boing Boing, weather, science fiction, weird science, plain science, international relations, bicycles, finance, real estate, disasters other than finance or real estate, cool gadgets, presidential campaigns, sandwiches (yours), sandwiches (eaten by others), violence, oxygen, polar bears in the news, weird sex, or whatever else you find meaningful, as long as it's a summary of 2008.

Format: Plain prose is fine. Compression is good. Formalism is very good. Chronological sequence is required, though it may be implicit.

You aren't required to use plain prose. As usual, poetry is an option; but so are obfuscated code, footnotes for an imaginary text, captions for the imaginary text's imaginary illustrations, crossword puzzle clues, lists of unanswered phone messages, copyeditors' queries, or entries from your cat's Live Journal. Just keep it coherent, and make sure the format and handling illuminates your summary of 2008.

Bear in mind that if you want to use flowcharts, rebuses, lolcats, XKCD cartoons, charts, photos, or sheet music, you'll have to stash the images elsewhere and link to them, because we're not set up to handle images in comment threads. That goes double for audio files, machinima, and flash games.

The length of your entry should not exceed your readers' patience. Entries will be judged by professionally impatient readers.

The normal moderation guidelines apply.

Hanging out in the thread, discussing the entries, and applauding good performances is virtuous, can be a lot of fun, and is a great way to get to know your fellow commenters.

Prize: To be announced shortly. Something good.


  1. R. Idiocy: That doesn’t qualify. You can say the same about any year, and be neither more nor less accurate, or inaccurate, than you are about 2008.

    Come to think of it, there’s less excuse to say that about 2008 than there is about most years.

    Must try harder.

  2. “You can say the same about any year, and be neither more nor less accurate, or inaccurate, than you are about 2008.”

    My point exactly.

  3. Okay, here’s my attempt, which I believe will incorporate the major themes of this year as I see them.

    “2008 was a year of collective anxiety for the world as economic, social, religious and environmental systems struggled against instability. Such notable figures as Richard Dawkins came to prominence, announcing to the world never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say good bye, never gonna run around and hurt you..”

  4. 2008= funerals, lots of funerals. first week saw the death of my goos friend and harmonica player for my band: Jimbo, hacked to death by a serial killer in a northern florida state park. then came “Memphis Michie”, one of my favorite local musicians, and a great influence on my subsequent foray into vocalism. she could belt out a janis joplin tune, and you’d think the rose had returned from the great beyond! after that was my brother Scott aka “gibby”. one of the finest musicians on the planet. a mix of cocaine and other drugs made his heart implode. then it was my homeboy and fellow stunt-performer Johnny “hawk”. two turns as a fuel-truck driver in the jungles of ‘nam couldn’t kill him, but the residual effects of agent orange finally did. and, of course, my deadhead bro, David, who succumbed to the ravages of hepatitis c after a lifetime of going with the flow. i love them all, and i miss them so very much. but that will be how i will always remember this year. 2008: the bringer of death.

  5. US Taxpayer: {Wakes up, sees US Government and Wall Street burning the money}: No! Not good! Stop! Not good! What are you doing? You burned all the food, the shade… the money!

    Wall Street: Yes, the money is gone.
    US Taxpayer: Why is the money gone?
    US Government: One: because it is a *vile* coin that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two: that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire world is looking out for me, do you think there is even the slightest chance they wont see it?
    US Taxpayer: But why is the money gone?
    Wall Street: Mark my words, give it an hour, maybe two, keep a weather eye out and there will be upticks on that horizon.

  6. 2008 – DSM Stylee

    January – Worked my ass off, stayed in debt.
    February – Worked my ass off, stayed in debt.
    March – Worked my ass off, stayed in debt.
    April – Worked my ass off, stayed in debt.
    May – Worked my ass off, stayed in debt.
    June – Worked my ass off, stayed in debt.
    July – Worked my ass off, stayed in debt.
    August – Worked my ass off, stayed in debt.
    September – Worked my ass off, stayed in debt.
    October – Got laid off, stayed in debt, went hungry.
    November – Looked for a job, stayed in debt, went hungry.
    December – Got a better paying job than my last job. Liquidated 401K and used that to pay off debt and buy Christmas gifts for the kids.

    2009 looks pretty rosy.

  7. boingboing had a good year
    lots of friends visited
    Bright talked about sex
    and Mr. Jalopy scored a Stingray
    Dale, Richard, Lisa and Rushkoff
    and others came by
    Jackhammer Jill is quite popular
    Next year she’ll bring more
    Let’s hope she doesn’t get a bad reputation

  8. Pie!

    I give you John Scalzi’s How to Make a Schadenfreude Pie, complete with recipe and photos, and Nancy McPheat’s lolscalzi to go with it.

    MinTphresh, that’s a hard, hard year. Sun’s over the yardarm here in Brooklyn, so I’ll drink a toast to them, and to my own.

    Talia, there might be people who’d make up a thing like that, but MinT isn’t one of them.

    Superdoop, if you want to put that in chronological order and re-post it, I’ll delete the first version for you.

    Dogstarman: Yay, chronology! Also, congratulations: may 2009 be a better year.

    Tim Quinn is now two for two at making the moderator laugh out loud. This guy could be dangerous.

  9. There’s so much to cover this year!
    An attempt is a scratch, I do fear.
    But I’ll give it a try
    With some limericks high
    But most of you probably will jeer:

    The Economy

    Wall Street thought it would go on forever –
    “Home prices stop rising? Ha! Never!”
    When they dropped like old shoes
    (Merrill Lynch, WaMu too)
    All at once they did not seem so clever.


    McCain campaign style? Not obtuse,
    It derailed when she mentioned that moose.
    Corny rhymes say that Palin
    Was the GOP’s failin’
    And the woman’s young daughter? Quite loose.

    The media

    Young bloggers continued to rail
    Against mainstream media without fail,
    But it’s still mainstream’s day
    Bloggers can’t make it pay.
    So it’s still Ahab versus the whale.


    In Detroit, you’ve got the big three
    Asking “Will we be like AMC?
    Making Ramblers and Hornets
    For a dwindling core that
    Increasingly buys overseas?”


    As for me folks, this year is completed,
    Can afford to buy food, and stay heated.
    Didn’t buy much, that’s true,
    But what can you do?
    Let’s hope next year I don’t get deleted.

  10. My first year without my father, and I miss him more every day.

    The year that America decided to rejoin the rest of the world. Nice to have you back, yanks ;) .

  11. #14 just to clarify, I wasnt sure if he was doing a rip on some movie or book that I wasn’t picking up on. No insensitivity or accusations of fibbing intended.

  12. hey teresa, speaking for them and meself, we appreciate the sentiment! although nothing can bring them back, they will live as long as i do, in my memory. which i will be abusing seriously this wed. nite. so we will drink a toast to jimbo and mickie and gibby and hawk, and puff one big and fat for them and dave! and a happy 2009 to you, oh glorious fire aunt!

  13. I thought I’d just go through all my previous comments on Boing Boing and quote the bits I’m particularly proud of, linked back to the original stories, of course. Note that I only became a happy mutant in April, as I previously was one of the normals, on the outside looking in.

    April 15: The arms race escalates between spammers and CAPTCHA
    “Essentially, an infallible CAPTCHA is, by definition, a reverse Turing Test: instead of trying to prove that a particular AI is indistinguishable from a human, you want to distinguish humans from AIs.”

    April 17: Perfect length for a pop song: 2:42
    “ADD is not a valid reason for limiting creativity in popular music. If you only have 35 minutes a day to listen to music, you’re not a music lover, and your opinion on the length of songs is irrelevant.”

    April 20: Funny/Creepy old comic book ad
    ‘The most disturbing line in all this is “Latex takes hard play!” ‘

    April 23: NYPD cop: videoing me breaking the law is a terrorist act
    ‘I guess this answers the eternal question “Who watches the watchers?”


    April 28: Hans Reiser guilty of rm wife
    “You know what? When something bad happens to me, I’d rather someone make a joke about it and make me laugh than to have everybody be careful not to upset me. That’s way more aggravating.”

    May 14: MS: No redesigned Xbox 360
    “I’ll believe it when I see it (not happen.)”

    May 28: Help us identify mysterious joystick shaft
    “The chroniton emissions are above the background levels for this part of the galaxy. From the phase shift in the neutrino field, I’d say you’re looking at some part of a machine that came from an alternate timeline where arcade games never existed. So there’s no way this is an arcade joystick.

    Further scans show traces of alien DNA. Probably Klingon. The subject had untreated pancreatic cancer, and must have lisped a lot due to a malformation of the jaw and tongue.

    The metal part shows several micro-fractures which could only have been caused by oversplash from a disruptor beam.

    The red plastic ball is perfectly spherical, to a tolerance of +/- 2 nanometers. That kind of technology will not exist for another 140 years.”

    May 29: Canadian airport security screener confiscates blocks tiny gun-shaped necklace charm
    “By working with probabilities, you can determine the percentage of all luggage that you need to “lose” in order to reduce the effectiveness of any terrorist plots that require luggage as part of their plans.

    For instance, let’s say the average terrorist plot requires 10 separate pieces of non-carry-on luggage, and you have a 10% luggage loss rate, then the terrorists are somewhat likely to be missing at least 1 piece of luggage (and, one supposes, items essential to the terrorist attempt.) All this assumes a mostly uniform distribution of probabilities.”

    June 19: Kill a man with the Unbreakable Umbrella
    “No, the surest way to kill a man with an unbreakable umbrella is to force him to swallow it, and THEN open it.”

    July 10: Frank Converse & The Cake perform “She’s Leaving Home” (1967)
    “to The Specialist: You win the award for today’s best non sequitur. To claim your prize, simply bounce rag diagonal, sudden peanut phrase.”

    July 30: Welcome to the mainstream: subnotebook from Sylvania
    ‘ “It’ll come in white, yellow and pink,” but the picture shows a black unit? Or is that a very dark shade of white?’

    August 14: Speakers nestled in each orifice, iPig dock oinks out tunes
    “It’s not stupid, it’s advaaaaaanced!”

    August 26: Panasonic Gaggle of Random Alphanumeric Characters (PZR900) builds DVR into plasma HDTV
    “What’s a “terrabyte”? Is it a byte that’s as large as the Earth itself?”

    September 21: “Every surface of FORM 6 is smooth and usable for sensation”
    “Press release does not answer my most pressing question:

    will it blend?”

    September 23: Print Your Own Money
    “So, what is being advocated here, essentially, is for us to put all our management consultants, all our Bankers, all our Marketing Executives, all our Telephone Sanitizers, basically all our middlemen, into some sort of spaceship. Call it a ‘B’ ark, if you will.

    And then we fire that off into space, and hopefully it’ll crash onto some other planet, where they can found their own civilization, and we can go back to some form of barter economy.

    Some say this has already happened before.”

    October 5: Budweiser’s promotional Beer Drive
    “At least, sealing Budweiser in there is not a waste of GOOD beer.”

    October 14: Synthetic telepathy
    “Step 4: ???
    Step 5: Profit!
    Step 6: Electric Dreams!
    Step 7: Skynet!

    Will that stuff work through a tinfoil hat?”

    October 24: I hope they are wrong: United Panic
    “Someone needs to start some kind of organization that will be isolated from tumult of these turbulent times, and from which a stronger, more stable economy can emerge.

    A kind of foundation, if you will.”

    October 31: The New York Times illustrates the car of the future
    “There’s something about the art style in that pic that makes me want to fold it in to see what the gag is.”


    “88 mph? Anybody see a flux capacitor somewhere?”

    December 8: New Rochelle school board mutilates books to protect children
    “The more I read about censorship, the more I feel it should be opt-in, not opt-out.”

    December 9: A Message To Boing Boing Readers From the Auto Industry
    ‘I don’t know why this post was classified as funny. There’s nothing funny about it, because, as the posters for the movie Alien vs Predator said, “Whoever wins, we lose”.’

    Sorry about the length, but something tells me my entry won’t be the longest.

  14. 2008: It seemed like we were merely falling, but at the bottom we bounced, and though our breath was taken away we’re now looking up rather than down.

  15. happy happy joy joy
    strange peripheral vision

    future shock
    furtive schmoozing
    jaw dropping anger

    gut clenching fear
    snl reborn
    hope for change

    snow storms
    looking up
    counting down
    counting change

  16. A lot of things happened this year. So many, when you stop to think about it, that summarizing something such a large number of events can start to feel like this.

  17. Shutz @24, the duck comes down and you win a hundred dollars. Figuratively speaking.

  18. 2008 was fucking awful in terms of corporate greed and unbelievable government blunders but I fiddled while Rome burned on boing boing with the super-star GUEST BLOGGERS, SPAMasterpiece Theatre, unicorn chasers, irate-but-endearing gadgeteers, and iPhone games. On the substantial upside, children were born.

  19. December 15, Beijing. The sun glimmers through the oppressive smog as a garage door opens. The BYD Auto F3DM, the first production plug-in hybrid electric vehicle rolls off of the assembly line and onto the showroom floor. It looks like a Toyota Corolla.

    And as the 149,800 yuan sticker is affixed to its window, the last human alive moves from year 2120 to year seven billion.

  20. 2008: Worst Year In The History Of The World EVER ™

    Started off pretty much the same as any other except my wife and I were becoming increasingly stressed with work. We had planned a trip to Thailand in the summer (she’s an obsessive Muay Thai fighter) and one day I suggested tha hell with it, we should just sell the flat and move there for a year. Winner! We put the flat on the market, left our jobs, I took a TEFL course and we waited.

    And then the recession happened. No buyers. No money coming in. Cancelled our flight. Sad. Terrified. No work available.

    Out of the blue one night my wife came back from Muay Thai and announced that she was no longer in love with me and wanted to end things. My world fell apart right there. I swear I almost injured myself crying so hard that night and spent the next day or two at the bottom of a bottle with some understanding friends.

    Pulled myself together in a moment of clarity and managed to convince her that a six-year relationship was too good to throw away without trying. We moved back in together and attended counselling, the most painful process I have ever gone through. Every little skeleton you prayed never existed came out of her closet – she had never cheated on me at least but by god it hurt to hear what she had to say.

    I thought things were getting better but finally at one session she announced that they weren’t. We decided I’d move out for a month to give each other some space to think (she had no friends to stay with, I did). Two weeks later I found out that she’d already slept with someone else. Game over.

    We’re still tied together by the flat which refuses to sell. She’s properly seeing someone now, less than two months after we split. I still can’t go a single hour without thinking about us, about what went wrong and about what the hell I do now. I’m working again but only on a 3-month contract, will know by Feb 1st if I’ll be back on the shelf again.

    Worst year ever. Here’s to 2009, it can only be better…

  21. Here is a fun way to recap the past year, the stock market. In this game, Stock Rider, you can choose the stock of your choice from the S&P 500 and actually ski the graph. Some “courses” are way more fun that others and so if you are having trouble finding one you like, try using the let your broker pick option.

  22. Leaves no longer fall. Fields lie fallow. Golden moon, floating moon, least-heat moon, small hard pale cold stone moon.

    His breath warm on my neck. Nights longer, breath warmer. Then it comes that there is no day. No sunrise. Night follows night. Planets swing through the furthest reach of their orbits and the glacial clockwork alone keeps faith. We outwit this longest night. Some time passes…who knows? It is the dream time, and eludes counting.

    The year pivots on this night, then passes. First light again returns. It dare not hide, it cannot wait. Dawn is chained to dawn and chained to dawn again. Colors forgotten, gently appear. Names once banished, are spoken aloud. Ghosts retreat. Something akin to song is heard again. Flesh touches flesh.

    Time and time again, truth is revealed to us in raveled fragments, and certainly at its own pace… ours to reinforce, to mend the missing weft, to knit together our own stories from what is given. Bears, children, missing buttons, half forgotten salt-cellars and regrets, letters unopened, bits of soft gray paper, injured birds spiral quietly about. What to embrace? What to abandon? What to release?

    New light brings new stories.

  23. You are standing in a field. There is a signpost here.


    The sign reads “Now entering 2008”

    > AHEAD

    You approach a polling place. There are supporters standing outside the door offering you literature.


    [The Obama flyer and Clinton pamphlet] Taken.


    You are now Informed. [Your confusion level has just gone up 1 point]


    Done. As you leave the polling place, you emerge on the ocean shore.


    Waves crash against the sand. A distant speedboat is approaching, rapidly. There is a gun mounted on its bow.

    >SAY “AHOY”

    “Avast, ya swab! Be this the Gulf of Somalia?”

    >SAY “NO”

    The pirate vessel speeds off. A figure is running along the shore towards you.


    She’s wearing a track suit covered in flag designs, and carries a flaming torch


    A squad of security personnel divert the runner into an armored vehicle before she can get near you. The vehicle speeds off. The wind seems to be picking up.


    You see a hurricane. A warning announcement comes over the beach’s loudspeakers, telling saying everyone must evacuate Galveston.


    You flee to Georgia You are standing on a main avenue, lined by stores and houses. Tanks are rolling towards you


    A curse in Russian is your reply. The tanks get closer.


    There is a homeowner here. He is looking at a piece of paper and crying


    It is titled “variable rate mortgage”, but as you try to read it your eyes begin to glaze over at the complex financial terminology.

    >SAY “CAN I HELP?”

    The man looks up at you gratefully. “Well, you could give me some money”


    You don’t have any cash, only stock certificates and oil futures.


    Join the club. They’re suddenly not worth very much.


    Funny, you were sure you were getting a bargain when you bought it in June for only $100/barrel. Now it’s worth $35. You give the man the money you raised and walk out of the house. There is a general election here.


    You have elected a President. [Your hope just went up by one point.] You hear a loud noise.


    There is gunfire coming from the direction of Mumbai.


    You donate to Doctors Without Borders and continue to watch the siege on television.


    There is a governor with too much hair here. He is covered in scandal. This reminds you of a governor with no hair who also got covered in scandal several months ago.


    Congratulations! You have reached the end of level 2008. Press [Return] to begin the next level.

  24. Out of all the entries so far, my vote goes to JIMMOSK (since it would be tacky of me to vote for my own entry.)

    The only thing that could make that entry better would be for it to actually be interactive (yet thoroughly linear.)

  25. I blog books I read and recipes I tried. Here’s the recipe round up for 2008:

    1. Oatmeal Raisin Cookies
    2.Ginger Snaps (scroll way down to the bottom)
    3.Mexican Sweet Pork Stew
    4.Caper Chicken (not caper as in 30’s style crime movie)
    5.Mom’s Lukshen Kugel
    6.Lentil Barley Stew
    7. Barley Chorizo Pie
    9. My favorite tuna salad
    10. Forgotten Cookies
    11. Marinated Mushrooms
    12.Zucchini Gratin
    13.Matzah Ball Soup
    14. Egyptian Rice/Tasty Mud
    15.Fruit Tarts
    17.Carrot Salad with Olives
    18. Summer Pesto Pasta
    19. Chorizo Beefaroni
    20. Turkish Lamb Pilaf
    21.Peach Cobbler
    22.Mushroom Barley Casserole
    23.Green Jumbalaya
    25.Corn Salsa
    26.Corn Chickpea Salad
    27.Vegetable Potato Soup
    28.Zucchini Bread
    29.Almost Awesome Focaccia
    30.Mom’s Apple Crisp
    31.Corsican Beef Stew
    32.Risotto Primavera
    33. Better Mac and Cheese
    34.Fettucini alla Papalina
    35.Bacon Wrapped Turkey Roll Part of the Thanksgiving extravaganza!
    36.Corn Pudding
    37.The Best Pumpkin Pie
    38.The Best Pumpkin Apple Bread
    39.Chicken ‘n Chickpeas (I loves me some chickpeas!)
    40.Turkey Schnitzel (I loves me some fried anything!)
    41.Caper Lemon Salsa

    blog w/recipes n’stuff:

  26. Redhead: would have been even nicer if you could have linked each item to the actual recipe, so we could find it easily and try them ourselves. Otherwise, great idea!

  27. My Entry:

    “Welcome to the future. In lieu of a flying car, please accept this funny picture of a cat.”

  28. 2008: The Year in Regime Change

    I’m sure I’m missing some instances of regime change, particularly in Europe, Africa, and Latin America. These are the ones I heard about on the BBC, NPR, and the web. Others were perhaps less eventful.

    January-February: Kenya: Ethnic violence breaks out across Kenya in the wake of a disputed presidential election between Raila Odinga and Mwai Kibaki.

    January-February: Pakistan: Riots break out and elections are postponed after the assassination of Benazir Bhutto. Her party wins plurality in parliament. In August, lawmakers force out Pervez Musharaff and install Bhutto’s husband, Asif Ali Zardari.

    January-March: Taiwan: Kuomintang increases majority in parliament and wins the presidency (Ma Ying-jeou) with promises of closer ties with mainland China.

    February: Kosovo: Declares independence from Serbia. Recognized by about a quarter of other countries.

    February: Cuba: In a move that surprised no one, Fidel Castro passed control of the country to brother Raul.

    March-May: Russia: In moves that surprise no one, Vladimir Putin’s annointed heir, Dmitry Medvedev, elected president after opposition protest and complaints of suppression and irregularities. Medvedev nominates Putin to be Prime Minister.

    March: Tibetans make little if any progress in local regime change efforts.

    March-December: Zimbabwe: Officials in the ruling ZANU-PF party withhold election results thought favorable to the opposition MDC party. Presidential runoff election between president Robert Mugabe clinging to power and Morgan Tsvangirai is marked by intimidation, violence, and fraud. Several rounds of diplomacy have failed to create a workable power-sharing agreement. Meanwhile, the currency inflates to absurdity, food becomes scarce, and deadly diseases spread throughout the country.

    April: Italy: With much deja vu, Silvio Berlusconi retakes the prime minister’s office as head of a coalition government.

    April: South Korea: Grand National Party wins parliamentary majority, adding to their recent presidential win.

    April: Bhutan: Holds country’s first parliamentary elections. In November, King Jigme Singye Wangchuck, who imposed the democratic process, is replaced by his son Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck.

    April-May: Nepal: After ten years of civil war, Maoists win plurality in assembly. Assembly overwhelmingly votes to end the monarchy.

    May: Lebanon: After six months without a president and after two weeks of violence between Hezbollah and government forces, parliament selects Michel Suleiman as president.

    May: Myanmar: Amidst the chaos of a typhoon and over the objections of opposition groups, the Burmese military junta runs a new constitution.

    July-August: Georgia: South Ossetia and Abkhazia push for local regime change. After a few weeks of warring, the regime situation remains as it was.

    September: Japan: The second prime minister to resign in a year, Yasuo Fukuda is replaced by Taro Aso.

    September-December: Canada: Between the U.S. political conventions and the U.S. election, Canada had an entire national election. Unhappy with a minority government yet again, Prime Minister Stephen Harper tries to hit the other parties in the pocketbook. They reject the plan. Governor General Michaelle Jean suspends parliament for a month and a half.

    September-December: Thailand: Protesters blocking government buildings and airports oust not one but two prime ministers, Samak Sundaravej and Somchai Wongsawat.

    October-December: Ukraine: President Viktor Yushchenko dissolves parliament after they try to curtail presidential power. Elections are not held because parliament won’t pass funds for them.

    November: USA: After two thirds of a billion dollars and well over a year of campaign speeches, negative ads, and endless talking points, the United States elects the first non-white president and also the forty-third white president. In contrast to previous elections, this one is decided by a significant majority and more than one state.

    November: Greenland: Voters approve a resolution for greater local regime power, becoming more independent from Denmark.

    December: Guinea: Long-time president Lansana Conte dies in office. The military declares a coup. Given the unpopularity of many in government, many people aren’t especially upset about this turn of affairs.

    December: Bangladesh: After two years of emergency military rule, largely free and fair elections are held with a minimum of pre- and post-election violence.

  29. D’oh. I should proof-read blog comments, too. Obama will be the forty-fourth white president, not the forty-third. Unless you only count Grover Cleveland as one white president…

  30. I started making one using the wiki page for 2008, but half way through I’m feeling depressed. Great year we’ve had.

  31. From Variety dated December 31, 2008…

    As is wont in an epic film of this magnitude “2008: Fearings, Jeerings and Congressional Hearings,” directed by Cthulhu, opened in unprecedented worldwide release to much fanfare and circumstance. The opening sequence alone was enough to satisfy the hungriest of cynics, critics, doom-sayers, and pundits despite the ongoing writers strike. “Roger Clemens on 60 Minutes” was particularly rich with sarcasm as it was written long ago and shot in December. Roger, complete with third ear on forehead and pulling a tractor with his teeth, completely denies allegations of his steroid use while carrying a talking Volkswagen Beetle and the fatted calf off of a burning bridge in Boston, Massachusetts. We then cut immediately to New Hampshire sans segue where Hilary Clinton, perhaps intoxicated by a 3 point primary victory and a good cry, starts a sort-of striptease shedding delegates to a waiting Barack Obama who sits perched upon a unicorn. This is going to be a very strange film.

    Act two seems to last for months and gets steadily more depressing. The U.S. is still at war, GM loses cash, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer gets caught exercising “the power of attorney,” and Paul McCartney’s divorce is finalized. We finally emerge from an especially brutal sequence of foreclosure statistics juxtaposing record oil industry profits to find ourselves at the spectacle that is the Olympics. Human dramas play out over what seems like days. We marvel at Michael Phelps. We wonder about pre-pubescent Chinese gymnasts. Is that what 13-year-old girls are supposed to look like? It’s within this sequence we discover a budding star. An ingenue. A thrower of javelins from Paraguay. Leryn Franco. She already has a calendar.

    Now begins the push towards climax. The filmmakers expertly mix the tense dramatics of an uplifting yet acerbic and, at times, a downright nasty presidential campaign with light theatrics by introducing the comedic talents of one Sarah Palin. At once we love her for her faults, and we hate her for her ignorance but it’s hard to ignore the fact that the audience identifies with her in a new way that is rarely reserved for the jester. She inspires art. Photoshoppers everywhere rejoice. She instills fear. Community Organizers will never be seen in the same light. She is a deft and cunning performer who can go off-script as well as Will Ferrell (who co-stars in her follow-up film entitled “Rogue.”) She is a star on the horizon. You can love her or hate her but it’s best not to ignore her. She shoots animals from a helicopter.

    Succinctly, the election day sequence is the best part of this film.

    Overall this was not a good film. The sophomore effort by Cthulhu as a long-awaited follow up to his 1929 film “Great Depression,” falls short of his prior work. It is extremely repetetive and in dire need of editing. Not every storyline is resolved leaving plenty of room for sequels but hopefully this film will fade into memory and we shall never have to revisit its themes or disturb its slumber.

    I believe this film will be defined by its context. After a while the “great” of this film will revert to the mean and the “bad” may just slide into the past. We can only Hope.


  32. MinTphresh, that would’ve been enough to kill an ordinary man. Maybe one day we should all meet up at The Hub. Is it still there?

  33. hey foetus! if u are referring to the fine drinking establishment in downtown t-pa, then yes! u couldn’t kill that shit-hole! i was at a show last week at tampa theatre and stopped in for a brief respite between bands. hasn’t changed one iota since the first time i got drunk there in 1979! and, old as i am, i’m still ready for more adventures! come on down!

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