Stuff Journalists Like

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Most everyone I know loves a good inside joke. You know, the kind that makes fun of some stereotypical characteristic of some subset of human beings, yet applauds the lifestyle at the same time. I am no exception to this rule and have thoroughly enjoyed laughing at myself while reading Stuff White People Like.

I’ve recently discovered that I can enjoy the insider jokes of an even smaller subset of humanity, journalists. Journalists have a penchant for smugness, really reveling in the usage of large, unpronounceable words, and highlighting the great breadth of knowledge that is crammed into every square inch of their do-good, I'm-an-outsider mentality. I know this because I'm one of the often snide guilty parties.

Having previously worked in a newspaper newsroom for almost a decade, I especially take delight in the entries that editors Christopher Ortiz and David Young have posted about coffee, press passes, and free food. Here’s a snippet about the fact that journalists like to date other journalists:

Journalists like dating each other because only fellow journalists understand the phrase: “Not tonight dear, I’m on deadline.”

Attempts to date people outside of the newsroom who cannot name gubernatorial candidates, have a limited vocabulary and who don’t know who Hunter S. Thompson is will only lead to a return to dating journalists.

Bruce has warned me that this may all be a little too obscure for some people to see the humor in, but I have high hopes for people’s ability to enjoy making fun of reporters.

--Shawn

Stuff Journalists Like

(Shawn Connally and Bruce Stewart are guest bloggers)

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  1. “Journalism is not a profession or a trade. It is a cheap catch-all for fuckoffs and misfits— a false doorway to the backside of life, a filthy piss-ridden little hole nailed off by the building inspector, but just deep enough for a wino to curl up from the sidewalk and masturbate like a chimp in a zoo-cage.” – HST

  2. {{ Journalists like dating each other because only fellow journalists understand the phrase: “Not tonight dear, I’m on deadline.” }}

    Replace the word ‘Journalists’ with ‘Game Developer’ and you’ve explained my dating life.

    I’m going to have to do “Stuff Game Developers Like” blog now, aren’t I? Crap.

  3. Once thing journalists like most is telling others that they are a journalist. I know this, for I am a journalist (*looks smug*).

    It essentially sums up to new introductions that you are a) clever, b) switched on, c) meeting people of import on occasion, and d) a tastemaker, while still being able to lord your noble poverty over your companions.

    Mmmm, that’s some tasty humility.

  4. Stuff White People Like: Microbreweries, Sarah Silverman, and The Onion. I’m crushed. I used to think I was cool. Turns out I’m just white. (Cries into her organic hopped ale.)

  5. “… only fellow journalists understand the phrase: ‘Not tonight dear, I’m on deadline.'”

    I don’t get it. What is this mysterious phrase “on deadline”? I’m not a journalist.

    Anymore.

    Fishermen like me only understand the phrase: “Not tonight, Dear, I have a haddock.” Oof.

  6. Reminds me of the Steve Martin classic:

    This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenance job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7″ gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, “You can’t work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7″ wrench.” Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, “The Langstrom 7″ wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket.” Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and said, “It says sprocket not socket!”

  7. I’m not a journalist by any means, but that site is pretty funny.

    I’ve also gotten quite a few laughs out of “Stuff White People Like,” and one of its lesser-known offspring, “Stuff Christians Like.” Yes, I’m as WASPy as they come, and most of the entries in both of the above fit my family and friends to a t.

  8. I am also a journalist, and basking in my own smugness as aptly summed up by no. 3 above.

    On ‘Journalists like dating each other because only fellow journalists understand the phrase: “Not tonight dear, I’m on deadline.”’, I once worked in a newsroom of just 30 staff. There were three married couples (all of whom had met at work) in this number. I am married to a journalist and our son made his radio debut at 12 weeks. Journalists also like to keep it in the family!

  9. “Journalists have a penchant for smugness, really reveling in the usage of large, unpronounceable words”

    Oh, the irony. When was the last time you heard the word “penchant” used in everyday conversation?

  10. Journalist have absolutely NOTHING on engineers when it comes to smugness. Tell an engineer that you went to school for “journalism” (the engineer is going to add those demeaning quotes in his head) and watch as he tries not to smirk at how cute your “profession” is and how hard your “classes” must have been. Of course, if you really want to see the blood flow, put an engineer in the same room as a social “scientist”. Bonus points if you get them to talk politics.

  11. “Of course, if you really want to see the blood flow, put an engineer in the same room as a social “scientist”. Bonus points if you get them to talk politics.”

    It’s not that bad… one of my very good friends is a total geek, I’m sure he’s going to become some sort of engineer too, and I’m more this kind of white guy.^^

    We talk a lot about politics, he taught me a little about C++, and I taught him a little about the importance of art and politics. Okay, we probably get along well because part of me is a geek too…

  12. I think we have a lot of wanna-be journalist commenters on BB. Or retired journalists. Or people that were a journalist in another life.

    I didn’t like any of the stuff white people like – or at least not the 20 or so I looked at.

  13. Is the headline supposed to be an imperative?
    If so… Stuff Journalists like what?
    “Stuff Journalists, like you’re stuffing a pepper”?

  14. This list doesn’t appear to apply to copy editors, except where it intersects with things most people who work like (coffee, procrastination, free stuff, etc.).

    This is 100% reporter ego.

  15. I feel way too white, now. Not only do I have a tube of sea salt (a big one) but it has, indeed, survived two moves to date.

  16. I’m your private writer
    A writer for money
    I’ll write what you want me to do
    I’m your private writer
    A writer on deadline
    Any old topic will do

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