Extinct bird rediscovered, then eaten

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28 Responses to “Extinct bird rediscovered, then eaten”

  1. daverunsfromfire says:

    I think this is some xenophobic thing… like the fisherman that caught the bizarre alien-looking fish, videotaped it, and immediately ate it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d love to eat a newly discovered species, but this seems more about conquering than consumption. At least try to teach it tricks, and kill it in frustration. Or, you know, think and do the right thing.

  2. gmoke says:

    Howard Waldrop should sue for copyright infringement on his story, “The Ugly Chickens.”

    http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/classics/classics_archive/waldrop/waldrop1.html

  3. Anonymous says:

    Eaten for food or to make one dingus erect?

  4. dainel says:

    #25 Anonymous said … if it was the very last of its species, the species was doomed anyway.

    Well, maybe it was the 2nd last of the species. Half of a breeding pair.

    Anyway, if the bird was really eaten, it didn’t happen like “Hey, that’s a really rare bird that’s supposed to be extinct. The first one ever photographed. Let’s eat it.” It probably happened more like this …

    A TV crew goes to film some other stuff. Somebody runs up, “hey come look at this weird bird they just caught”. Everyone gathers around. They looked at it. Arnel snaps a few photos. Then they go back to their job. The guy who caught the bird sold it at the local market, as he does with every other bird he catches.

    A week later, back at the studio, Arnel is showing the photos to his friend, the bird expert. “That’s a really rare bird. It’s supposed to be extinct you know. Where is it now?”

    Howie (the boss) hears about it and decides to do a short segment around the story.

  5. mdh says:

    @Brainspore –

    Mmmmmmmmmmmm, I’ll bet they wanted a Unicorn chaser.

  6. Keppoch says:

    Maybe the bird is related to some of the poisonous birds from Papua New Guinea like the Hooded Pitohui. That would be some ironic vengeance.

  7. Brainspore says:

    I bet that woolly mammoth was absolutely succulent.

  8. MarlboroTestMonkey7 says:

    In the city we call this evolution leftovers.

  9. SednaBoo says:

    spellcheck please. Especially the 4th word in the article.

  10. stickinsecthunter says:

    According to the local newspaper the bird was not eaten. It ended up in some sanctuary.

  11. Anonymous says:

    If it was the very last of its species, the species was doomed anyway.

  12. Teller says:

    Severe nitpick.
    The proper Onionized headline: Extinct Bird Rediscovered, Eaten.

  13. O3 says:

    They should have traded him a Canada goose for it. Contact the Man in the Boat!

  14. Fart Sandwich says:

    Well, at least we know it was put to good use. I hope it made a good sandwich. An extinct sandwich.

  15. merreborn says:

    #11: “Leave it to mankind to, upon finding something that we’ve probably never seen before, anywhere else, sell it to eat instead of saying, hey, maybe this is something rare I should protect.”

    Any other predator would have eaten it on the spot.

    Mankind is the only species, of which certain members would recognize its scarcity and try to protect it.

    So, yeah, mankind is probably mostly not much better than the rest of the predators out there, but hey, at least a few of us that short-sighted.

  16. absimiliard says:

    I am so jealous. That little bird looks incredibly tasty .. ..

    -abs dreams of eating a species into extinction, why couldn’t this have been him? Why?!?! KHAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!!!!elves!!!!

  17. Marcel says:

    Which faith would you believe to have awaited the animal if the TV crew had in fact decided to buy it and hand it over to the ‘experts’?

  18. demidan says:

    “Tastes like burning”

  19. Blaine says:

    Marcel:

    They probably would have drawn some of its blood, sequenced its DNA and learned more about the evolutionary process. Y’know. Science.

    What do you think, they’d dissect it? Do you know how little you can learn that way? Compared to modern technology it’s the difference between actually reading a book and just picking it up to see how heavy it is.

  20. Rick. says:

    I wonder if Marlon Brando and Matthew Broderick were involved.

  21. Brainspore says:

    According to the local newspaper the bird was not eaten. It ended up in some sanctuary.

    The kitchen is my sanctuary, too.

  22. ROSSINDETROIT says:

    Lets hope this means it’s not really extinct but maybe recovering. ‘Extinct’ Coelacanths were being caught regularly by fisherman even though they were thought to be extinct.

  23. ROSSINDETROIT says:

    Obligatory joke:

    What’s it taste like?

    Oh, kind of a Bald Eagle sort of flavor.

  24. Brainspore says:

    If that species didn’t want to go extinct then it shouldn’t have been so delicious.

  25. nanuq says:

    Is it possible for a species to become re-extinct?

  26. Daemon says:

    Wonder if the person who sold it realizes they could probably have gotten thousands of times as much money for keeping it alive.

  27. BastardNamban says:

    Leave it to mankind to, upon finding something that we’ve probably never seen before, anywhere else, sell it to eat instead of saying, hey, maybe this is something rare I should protect.

    You’d think a guy getting hold of one of these would definitely wonder what it was, and then trying to sell it, ask others. After all, what kind of sign did he put out when no one in the market knew what it was? “Weird bird for sale- eat it, it’s probably good!”

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