If Mirrors Could Speak -- creepy self-image film (1976)

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29 Responses to “If Mirrors Could Speak -- creepy self-image film (1976)”

  1. LSK says:

    Why so serious?

    (Someone had to say it…)

  2. TroofSeeker says:

    They always called me a clown.
    Never understood it- I never trusted men in make-up.
    What’s that, Magic Mirror?
    Wait- I get it now. I’m like those kids…
    No wonder people hate me…
    [deep intoversion]
    Shoot. I have been a clown!
    Honey, where’s a rope? And a stool?

  3. apoxia says:

    Wow, the cure for depression is to stop thinking about yourself and cheer up – why have I spent so much time training to be a clinical psychologist? I should have just watched this video!

  4. Anonymous says:

    Starring guest narrator Linus Van Pelt

  5. elk says:

    Still, it’s far less disturbing than Kiss unmasked.

  6. jacques45 says:

    Robbie, the proto-emo?

  7. Derek C. F. Pegritz says:

    And five years later, Little Robby came to school with a semi-automatic rifle and shot everybody BUT Lori and The Fat Annoying Kid.

  8. katamari88 says:

    Damn… I am shocked by the whole thing… but especially the depressed and withdrawn boy. Why would he will himself to be like that?

  9. bdjsb7 says:

    Wow, you’ve found the root cause of Coulrophobia!
    (Fear of clowns)

  10. guvnor says:

    This video just happens to be one of the funniest shorts ever tackled by Mike Nelson and the rest of the RiffTrax crew.

    It’s such prime fodder for riffing, I’m actually a little bit surprised they never got around to tackling it during their MST3K days.

  11. Big Ed Dunkel says:

    That fat annoying kid was Bernie Madoff.

  12. Auto Parts for Brains says:

    Honestly, this video will haunt me. I can’t imagine I went through the ordeal of watching a really bad acted old ad. I think George grew up to be the Joker in the Dark Knight.

  13. Daemon says:

    To make a long story short: ritalyn is a medical treatment for being a clown.

  14. Dillenger69 says:

    Love that Spaceball ‘fro!

  15. InsertFingerHere says:

    What freaks me out about clowns, you can’t tell what the person under the makeup looks like. Even the age is hard to tell in some cases.

    And facial recognition is really important in life.

    I think a neat film about dementia and memory loss would feature people in really crazy makeup, like camo or just checkers. That’s what people must look like when the brain is all fucked up.

    Has there ever been a study on the brain science of clowns ?

    I friggen hate them with a passion.

  16. invisibelle says:

    I think I might’ve dated Robbie in college.

  17. Anonymous says:

    What a great vid, imagine if nowadays at some point, someone in some way attempted to make kids think about how they act rather than excuse it or medicate it? I vaguely remember when there was a slight emphasis on personal responsibility and less ecstasy in being a victim, though that’s all gone now, and only the most sociopathic or apathetic aspects of childhood are forced upon our youth. Oh well, humanity sure was cool while it lasted!

  18. TroofSeeker says:

    This is not that troofsayer guy. I’m using his computer here at the crime scene, eh.
    I’m Officer Benson Bernsum of the RCMP.
    That troofsayer guy is swinging from the rafters behind me.
    You’re his friends. What can you cyber-creeps tell me about this vic, eh? There’s suction-cup marks all over his arms and face. Anything would be help-
    Hey Rodney, he’s not dead! Cut him down.
    You creeps delete this message. That’s an order.

  19. EichaelThe0ne says:

    “Hey, I look like a clown. A sad clown.” (lmao)

    This is the worst child therapy video I have ever seen. It had me thinking about all the times I spent in the counselor’s office; the smell of cornmeal in a box, Tiddlywinks©, telling my counselor I stole the Egon Spengler Ghostbuster toy from Payless. Funny that the girl in this movie was my favorite.

    That mirror has psychogenic properties radiating from it. It haunts me like Zoltar. It must be from Amityville and that is why no one has destroyed it.

  20. JJR1971 says:

    I was in Kindergarten when this video came out; The only reason I remember that fact is because my Kindergarten teacher did a little lesson on the 1976 election that I still remember. She gave us handouts with illustrations of Mr. Carter and Mr. Ford, and asked us who we thought would be a better president. I remember saying I thought Mr. Ford looked more “presidential”. It’s not like we had any other criteria with which to make a judgment. Oh, and I watched too much Superman & Shazaam on TV and decided to see if cape + jumping off chair = fly. Result: nope, just unconsciousness, then a trip to the nurses office, and stitches that for some reason smelled like bananas.
    Ah, the 1970s…

  21. RumorsofmyDemise says:

    I would LOVE to see what these kids are doing today.

  22. TroofSeeker says:

    That kid George… he really stole my heart. Why can’t my kids be more like that?

    Oh- my team of crack researchers are back with results. Let’s see…

    Robbie Arkizzle. It can’t be. Has to be a coincidence. It was my understanding that our Shizzle was raised by a small community of womprats.

    The girl grew up to be a chatroom administrator. No surprise there.

    And the narrator? You guessed it. We just elected him.

  23. Anonymous says:

    2:40 is very creepy

  24. jbdc says:

    Holy crap, that is truly awful. “If a child is withdrawn and depressed, it’s because they’re acting like a clown. It’s totally their fault.”

  25. Jason Rizos says:

    Bullies stay bullies even after they grow up. I have a first hand account of this. They are compelled to tear down the confidence in others, to provoke and instigate conflict. It’s a strange pathology and it alienates them from others, namely, the co-dependent “bully-ees” that eventually grow up and realize just how dysfunctional their relationship has been with the bully in question.

    Per my own observations, other aspects of the bully pathology include a compulsive need to measure themselves up against others, very low self-esteem, taking inordinate pleasure in schadenfreude, identifying with other bullies in popular culture (Bill O’Reilly, for example), xenophobia/racism, and reciprocating any perceived indignity ten-fold.

  26. wangleberry says:

    The Fat Annoying Kid totally reminds me of a young Lewis Black

    also, all girls today are like that girl. (pre-mirror)

  27. ill lich says:

    Wow, footage of Paul Stanley’s daughter in school, plus a young John Wayne Gacy.

  28. Anonymous says:

    “Why so studious…?”

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