Speed Bong Bottle Opener

Beerbongbottttle Oh, where to begin with the Speed Bong Bottle Opener. The design? The image of the guy demonstrating it? The fact that the eyes light up when you "pop a bottlecap"? Or just that it's a tool specifically designed for shotgunning beer!?
"Speed Bong Bottle Opener" (Thanks, Esther Chow!)



  1. What the heck is going on in that picture? Is that guy wearing some kinda plastic face mask?

  2. Any beer of shotgunning quality cannot be wasted.

    Also I question the validity of advertising copy that can’t draw the distinction between a beer bong (a funnel and plastic tube) and shotgunning a beer (what the picture illustrates). They are two distinct uses for cheap foul-smelling beer. The next thing you know they will be calling it a keg stand. Some people…

  3. That is CLEARLY not a beer bong. A beer bong consists of a funnel and a hose.

    What that man is doing so poorly is called shotgunning.

    Also #2 – it looks more like he’s wasting a lot of Pepsi.

  4. Props for the eyes lighting up, but wither the evil laughter everytime you use it? If they’ve gone this far……….

  5. Oh come on LightningRose, Guiness comes in cans. And it’s definitely Real Beer.

    (In fact it’s so “Real” that it kicks sand in the face of those wimpy “don’t need a knife and a fork to drink it” beers when it sees them at the beach.)

    -abs does have to admit that while canned Guinness is better than anything Bud EVER made in their lives it is inferior to Guinness from the tap, and any Guinness in America is so watered down compared to what it ought to be that the whole nation is just clueless on what it really tastes like

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