Speed Bong Bottle Opener

Oh, where to begin with the Speed Bong Bottle Opener. The design? The image of the guy demonstrating it? The fact that the eyes light up when you "pop a bottlecap"? Or just that it's a tool specifically designed for shotgunning beer!?
"Speed Bong Bottle Opener" (Thanks, Esther Chow!)

David Pescovitz is Boing Boing's co-editor/managing partner. He's also a research director at Institute for the Future. On Instagram, he's @pesco.

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Citizen_Simplex

What the heck is going on in that picture? Is that guy wearing some kinda plastic face mask?
madzack

he’s wasting a lot of beer.
absimiliard

Oh come on LightningRose, Guiness comes in cans. And it’s definitely Real Beer.

(In fact it’s so “Real” that it kicks sand in the face of those wimpy “don’t need a knife and a fork to drink it” beers when it sees them at the beach.)

-abs does have to admit that while canned Guinness is better than anything Bud EVER made in their lives it is inferior to Guinness from the tap, and any Guinness in America is so watered down compared to what it ought to be that the whole nation is just clueless on what it really tastes like
Jarvik7

I thought the beer was supposed to go IN your mouth when you shotgunned…
nutbastard

because no one ever has a pointy object on their keychain…
technosomething

link target broken but found product here: http://foolishgadgets.com/200903/skull-speed-bong-bottle-opener/
David Pescovitz

CITIZEN_SIMPLEX@1, Weird, right!?
Quiet Noises

Real men bite the can open. And real men don’t waste that much.
razordaze

@5: Real men don’t need tools to shotgun a beer, they use their bare hands.
Gilbert Wham

Bah. At first I thought this was a meth pipe with a bottle-opener attachment.
Agies

Any beer of shotgunning quality cannot be wasted.

Also I question the validity of advertising copy that can’t draw the distinction between a beer bong (a funnel and plastic tube) and shotgunning a beer (what the picture illustrates). They are two distinct uses for cheap foul-smelling beer. The next thing you know they will be calling it a keg stand. Some people…
Dangerpants

That is CLEARLY not a beer bong. A beer bong consists of a funnel and a hose.

What that man is doing so poorly is called shotgunning.

Also #2 – it looks more like he’s wasting a lot of Pepsi.
Fred H

Props for the eyes lighting up, but wither the evil laughter everytime you use it? If they’ve gone this far……….
LightningRose

I forgot about Guinness. I stand corrected.
LightningRose

Real beer doesn’t come in cans.
Bray_beast

Pretty sure that’s a Miller Lite.
David Pescovitz

DANGERPANTS @8, Yes, that’s why in my description, I referred to “shotgunning.”