DIY sex machine injury

A woman in southern Maryland was airlifted to a hospital last weekend after being wounded by a saber saw with a sex toy attached to it. A consensual act led to the injury. The woman has since been released from the hospital. (If you're into this stuff, either as a participant or curious observer, you might also enjoy Timothy Archibald's photo book Sex Machines from Process Media.) From NBCWashington.com:

The man who called 911 about the incident admitted attaching the sex toy to the saw and then using the high-powered, homemade device on his partner, according to the St. Mary's County Sheriff's Office.

The saw cut through the plastic toy and wounded the woman, according to TheBayNet.com.

"Woman Injured in Power Tool Sex Toy Encounter"

David Pescovitz is Boing Boing's co-editor/managing partner. He's also a research director at Institute for the Future. On Instagram, he's @pesco.

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Rotwang

How did they get the saw’s consent?
thehoundoflove

Is the BoingBoing logo-lady using a Drilldo?
maoinhibitor

#26

Thank you for restoring my faith in a good and smart humanity :^)
gretagretchen

You gotta leave that stuff to the professionals at kink.com
maoinhibitor

This is why science education is important.
Anonymous

Talk about cutting edge.
wynneth

THEHOUNDOFLOVE:
You wins 1 Internets.
maoinhibitor

OK I officially need to hear a heartwarming story about a heroic sysadmin who saved a kitten trapped inside an IBM Power 570 without having to IPL down all of her LPARs.
Daemon

Hmm. That’s one incredibly stupid sex machine maker. I mean, what are the chances that a saw will be able to cut rubber?
Takuan

suffice it to say, if a comely, young Mesonychoteuthis offers you the Delight of the String of Pearls… say no.
Drhaggis

Don’t Date Robots!
Wordsniper

When you type “DIY sex machine” into Microsoft Word, “injury” automatically pops up as the next word.
ElDave3000

Wow. Just wow.

I’ve never heard of a more direct Darwin effect.
arkizzle

Ha!

Anti, I love how on the ExtremeRestraints website, the videos all have a “click to learn” button. How informative :)
Digital Artz

My wife says she likes the old fashioned device better,the one I was born with.
Phikus

Saw that one cumming…
KanedaJones

the wife and I saw this elsewhere and it only mentioned the woman involved.

we both couldn’t for the life of us see how she would be dumb enough to take that chance.

now next time I see the sig-oth I will point out to her it had a logical explanation.. there was a HUSBAND involved. meh

men are the most careful when its their nuts on the line and even then they aren’t THAT careful.
stegodon

I can totally relate. I really got some nasty burns boning my toaster last week.. who knew?
KWillets

She underwent a Sawzallean Section.
Anonymous

Anyone else reminded of Top Secret?

“We found him impaled on a large electrical device. It took us two hours to remove the smile from his face.”
nicheplayer

Are we all talking about the same thing when we say “saber saw?” Cause I was thinking reciprocating saw, or “sawsall.” That would seem better suited to the use at hand than what I grew up knowing (not in THAT sense) as a saber saw.
jackie31337

I suspect this experiment was inspired by Fucking Machines (NSFW!), but the important detail these people missed is that they custom fabricate their machines, even the ones that are adaptations of power tools. Needless to say, that includes removing the blades!
Phikus

They thought it was a jizzsaw…
seanboing

please…. need…. unicorn… chaser…. (shudder)
IWood

#20 posted by maoinhibitor:

So there was this kitten trapped inside an IBM Power 570, right? And this sysadmin saved it–without having to IPL down all of her LPARs!

Heartwarming and true.
Anonymous

See what happens when you don’t wear safety glasses :)
John A Arkansawyer

ELDAVE2000 @ 21:

I’ve never heard of a more direct Darwin effect.

Normally, I just let Darwin abuse pass by me, but this one was just too silly to let go.

So, let’s see:

Stupid man injures woman’s reproductive abilities. Stupid uninjured man probably goes on to procreate for forty years. Even in the dickheaded Darwin Award version of Darwinism this makes no sense.
nehpetsE

“Saber saw” usually refers to a tool much smaller than sawzall, that makes much weaker, shallower strokes.

Some of the older, cheaper Saber saws don’t even have a rotary motor and are driven by vibratory motor resembling a big doorbell buzzer.

You really would have to be genius to seriously maim your self with one.
Falcon_Seven

Was she that desperate for an orgasm, and he less than capable of delivering the needed stimulation, that they had to resort to the assistance of an indifferent machine to deliver the momentary bliss that they both desired?
Sean Blueart

@ #1 BIG ED; It IS a cheap horror movie!
@21 ELDAVE; I second your point.

Nothing speaks of the inherent loneliness and separation from actual human intimacy, and the lack of imagination more than men “designing” and building power tools to fuck women.
LOSERKID

WOW!Why?
the name

Am I the only one who finds this just too reminiscent of the “Will Forte Sex Tape” from Human Giant to take it seriously?

Oh, I am?
Anonymous

@TheHoundOfLove,

I think that one’s a dilhammer.
Tommy

Ugh. Off to the Daily Kitten to recover:
http://thedailykitten.com/
MadFist

He. . . Left. . . The. . . BLADE. . . On. . .
Phikus

Ok, so then I came across this and this quite coincidentally today (no pun intended) in my avoidance of work.
maoinhibitor

#33,

Yes, she did, and it was extrordinarily fortunate as the kitten suffered from a life threatening, but benign intestinal tumor.

Considering the rescue to be the will of the cosmos, Karen spent a significant fraction of her last quarterly bonus on the necessary surgery.

When the tumor was dissected, a 1 1/4 carat Burmese ruby was found at the very center. Surely the cat swallowed it earlier in his life.
Karen now wears it proudly on a platinum nose ring.
blueelm

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!

Why did they leave the blade on!?

Wait… what was it about the kitten again? So, yeah, did the guy keep the cat?
Antinous / Moderator

Ok, so then I came across this and this quite coincidentally today (no pun intended) in my avoidance of work.

Ah. The Dremeldo.
dbarak

I tried something like that once, using a circular saw (Makita, to be specific) and 24 beef tongues.

I didn’t really work all that well.
jworick

This is taking the Darwin Awards to a whole new level.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  jworick,
  
  Your blog link can go on your profile page, thanks. Second warning.
Big Ed Dunkel

Sounds like a cheap horror movie.
newe1344

Oh My GOD! I just got an image…get it out…Dude, take the blade off! He must feel bad…drugs involved? I hope.
gandalf23

Why would they leave a blade inside it? I guess maybe they didn’t have the skills to fabricate a blank blade with no teeth, but seems like I’d want to at least sand off or file of the teeth on the blade before using it as they intended, just to make sure that there was no chance in hell of sawing through my partners genitalia!
mdh

I DEMAND A UNICORN
Mr_Voodoo

need…chaser…
can’t…breathe…
coop

Time to go back to the captive dolphins blowing bubbles…

coop
Anonymous

I’m not “into” that stuff, but that book is great. A friend of mine had it laying around a few years ago and I read it cover-to-cover simply because it’s so intriguing.
theawesomerobot

Oh yeah, you can totally hit me with that chainsaw – just make sure you wrap it in something.
Peter Larsen

Jesus, we go from crazy dude who ate his own eyeball to suicide forest and now THIS? Lighten the fuck up, Boing Boing! Now I’ve got to head over to Cute Overload before that plastic fork on my desk ends up in my eye….
Chevan

Even if it is weaker than a Sawzall, Sawzalls cut metal easily. Being weaker than cutting metal is still pretty dangerous.

Sounds like a bad idea from start to finish. I hope she recovers well.
stosh machek

THEY ATTACHED THE DILDO TO A BLADE!?!?
Cowicide

fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap
Mark Gordon

Boy, this gives “unsafe sex” a whole new meaning.
mdh

THEY ATTACHED THE DILDO TO A BLADE!?!?

The invisible hand…. of Darwin.
Modusoperandi

Baby aardvark chaser
tomrigid

It’s all fun and games until someone saws their…

Oh my.
Antinous / Moderator

It’s called a Fuckzall and it’s a dildo attached to a Sawzall. I’ll let you guess what a Drilldo is.

Extreme NSFW warning: http://www.extremerestraints.com/fucking-machines_48/
Bemopolis

Must be Steely Dan fans.
t3knomanser

TAKE THE BLADE OFF FIRST.

Jeezus.

These saws do have chocks that can mount things that aren’t blades if you’re inventive. Blades are sharp!
susanberkley

OH FOR CRAP’S SAKE!!!!! I think I just threw up a little.
eclectro

Magicians should be the only ones allowed to saw women.