DIY sex machine injury


63 Responses to “DIY sex machine injury”

  1. Rotwang says:

    How did they get the saw’s consent?

  2. thehoundoflove says:

    Is the BoingBoing logo-lady using a Drilldo?

  3. maoinhibitor says:


    Thank you for restoring my faith in a good and smart humanity :^)

  4. gretagretchen says:

    You gotta leave that stuff to the professionals at

  5. maoinhibitor says:

    This is why science education is important.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Talk about cutting edge.

  7. wynneth says:

    You wins 1 Internets.

  8. maoinhibitor says:

    OK I officially need to hear a heartwarming story about a heroic sysadmin who saved a kitten trapped inside an IBM Power 570 without having to IPL down all of her LPARs.

  9. Daemon says:

    Hmm. That’s one incredibly stupid sex machine maker. I mean, what are the chances that a saw will be able to cut rubber?

  10. Takuan says:

    suffice it to say, if a comely, young Mesonychoteuthis offers you the Delight of the String of Pearls… say no.

  11. Drhaggis says:

    Don’t Date Robots!

  12. Wordsniper says:

    When you type “DIY sex machine” into Microsoft Word, “injury” automatically pops up as the next word.

  13. ElDave3000 says:

    Wow. Just wow.

    I’ve never heard of a more direct Darwin effect.

  14. arkizzle says:


    Anti, I love how on the ExtremeRestraints website, the videos all have a “click to learn” button. How informative :)

  15. Digital Artz says:

    My wife says she likes the old fashioned device better,the one I was born with.

  16. Phikus says:

    Saw that one cumming…

  17. KanedaJones says:

    the wife and I saw this elsewhere and it only mentioned the woman involved.

    we both couldn’t for the life of us see how she would be dumb enough to take that chance.

    now next time I see the sig-oth I will point out to her it had a logical explanation.. there was a HUSBAND involved. meh

    men are the most careful when its their nuts on the line and even then they aren’t THAT careful.

  18. stegodon says:

    I can totally relate. I really got some nasty burns boning my toaster last week.. who knew?

  19. KWillets says:

    She underwent a Sawzallean Section.

  20. Anonymous says:

    Anyone else reminded of Top Secret?

    “We found him impaled on a large electrical device. It took us two hours to remove the smile from his face.”

  21. nicheplayer says:

    Are we all talking about the same thing when we say “saber saw?” Cause I was thinking reciprocating saw, or “sawsall.” That would seem better suited to the use at hand than what I grew up knowing (not in THAT sense) as a saber saw.

  22. jackie31337 says:

    I suspect this experiment was inspired by Fucking Machines (NSFW!), but the important detail these people missed is that they custom fabricate their machines, even the ones that are adaptations of power tools. Needless to say, that includes removing the blades!

  23. Phikus says:

    They thought it was a jizzsaw…

  24. seanboing says:

    please…. need…. unicorn… chaser…. (shudder)

  25. IWood says:

    #20 posted by maoinhibitor:

    So there was this kitten trapped inside an IBM Power 570, right? And this sysadmin saved it–without having to IPL down all of her LPARs!

    Heartwarming and true.

  26. Anonymous says:

    See what happens when you don’t wear safety glasses :)

  27. John A Arkansawyer says:

    ELDAVE2000 @ 21:

    I’ve never heard of a more direct Darwin effect.

    Normally, I just let Darwin abuse pass by me, but this one was just too silly to let go.

    So, let’s see:

    Stupid man injures woman’s reproductive abilities. Stupid uninjured man probably goes on to procreate for forty years. Even in the dickheaded Darwin Award version of Darwinism this makes no sense.

  28. nehpetsE says:

    “Saber saw” usually refers to a tool much smaller than sawzall, that makes much weaker, shallower strokes.

    Some of the older, cheaper Saber saws don’t even have a rotary motor and are driven by vibratory motor resembling a big doorbell buzzer.

    You really would have to be genius to seriously maim your self with one.

  29. Falcon_Seven says:

    Was she that desperate for an orgasm, and he less than capable of delivering the needed stimulation, that they had to resort to the assistance of an indifferent machine to deliver the momentary bliss that they both desired?

  30. Sean Blueart says:

    @ #1 BIG ED; It IS a cheap horror movie!
    @21 ELDAVE; I second your point.

    Nothing speaks of the inherent loneliness and separation from actual human intimacy, and the lack of imagination more than men “designing” and building power tools to fuck women.

  31. LOSERKID says:


  32. the name says:

    Am I the only one who finds this just too reminiscent of the “Will Forte Sex Tape” from Human Giant to take it seriously?

    Oh, I am?

  33. Anonymous says:


    I think that one’s a dilhammer.

  34. Tommy says:

    Ugh. Off to the Daily Kitten to recover:

  35. MadFist says:

    He. . . Left. . . The. . . BLADE. . . On. . .

  36. Phikus says:

    Ok, so then I came across this and this quite coincidentally today (no pun intended) in my avoidance of work.

  37. maoinhibitor says:


    Yes, she did, and it was extrordinarily fortunate as the kitten suffered from a life threatening, but benign intestinal tumor.

    Considering the rescue to be the will of the cosmos, Karen spent a significant fraction of her last quarterly bonus on the necessary surgery.

    When the tumor was dissected, a 1 1/4 carat Burmese ruby was found at the very center. Surely the cat swallowed it earlier in his life.
    Karen now wears it proudly on a platinum nose ring.

  38. blueelm says:


    Why did they leave the blade on!?

    Wait… what was it about the kitten again? So, yeah, did the guy keep the cat?

  39. Antinous / Moderator says:

    Ok, so then I came across this and this quite coincidentally today (no pun intended) in my avoidance of work.

    Ah. The Dremeldo.

  40. dbarak says:

    I tried something like that once, using a circular saw (Makita, to be specific) and 24 beef tongues.

    I didn’t really work all that well.

  41. jworick says:

    This is taking the Darwin Awards to a whole new level.

  42. Big Ed Dunkel says:

    Sounds like a cheap horror movie.

  43. newe1344 says:

    Oh My GOD! I just got an image…get it out…Dude, take the blade off! He must feel bad…drugs involved? I hope.

  44. gandalf23 says:

    Why would they leave a blade inside it? I guess maybe they didn’t have the skills to fabricate a blank blade with no teeth, but seems like I’d want to at least sand off or file of the teeth on the blade before using it as they intended, just to make sure that there was no chance in hell of sawing through my partners genitalia!

  45. mdh says:


  46. Mr_Voodoo says:


  47. coop says:

    Time to go back to the captive dolphins blowing bubbles…


  48. Anonymous says:

    I’m not “into” that stuff, but that book is great. A friend of mine had it laying around a few years ago and I read it cover-to-cover simply because it’s so intriguing.

  49. theawesomerobot says:

    Oh yeah, you can totally hit me with that chainsaw – just make sure you wrap it in something.

  50. Peter Larsen says:

    Jesus, we go from crazy dude who ate his own eyeball to suicide forest and now THIS? Lighten the fuck up, Boing Boing! Now I’ve got to head over to Cute Overload before that plastic fork on my desk ends up in my eye….

  51. Chevan says:

    Even if it is weaker than a Sawzall, Sawzalls cut metal easily. Being weaker than cutting metal is still pretty dangerous.

    Sounds like a bad idea from start to finish. I hope she recovers well.

  52. stosh machek says:


  53. Cowicide says:


  54. Mark Gordon says:

    Boy, this gives “unsafe sex” a whole new meaning.

  55. mdh says:


    The invisible hand…. of Darwin.

  56. tomrigid says:

    It’s all fun and games until someone saws their…

    Oh my.

  57. Antinous / Moderator says:

    It’s called a Fuckzall and it’s a dildo attached to a Sawzall. I’ll let you guess what a Drilldo is.

    Extreme NSFW warning:

  58. Bemopolis says:

    Must be Steely Dan fans.

  59. t3knomanser says:



    These saws do have chocks that can mount things that aren’t blades if you’re inventive. Blades are sharp!

  60. susanberkley says:

    OH FOR CRAP’S SAKE!!!!! I think I just threw up a little.

  61. eclectro says:

    Magicians should be the only ones allowed to saw women.

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