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Unicorn Chaser beverage from ThinkGeek!

David Pescovitz at 1:49 pm Wed, Apr 1, 2009

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ThinkGeek has launched a fantastic new Boing Boing-inspired product, the Unicorn Chaser! Sadly though, they got their facts wrong about the creator of the Unicorn Chaser. They said "the brilliant minds at BoingBoing (esp. Cory Doctorow!) originated the concept for a Unicorn Chaser." Actually, it was Xeni. Our badass attorney will be in touch. So buy the beverage now before our C&D shuts 'em down! It'll be the best $2.99 you never spent. From the product description:
Unicornchasssdrinkekeke We've all been there. You are innocently Twit-blogging on the Interscape, logging a few hours on Facebook, or checking your e-mail and you click on a link without thinking. Suddenly, you are confronted with an image or video so horribly nauseating it makes your eyes bleed. Whether it be pictures of someone's overstretched nether regions or a video of two young ladies sharing substances they oughtn't - your mind begs for cleansing (or a swift death)!...

Introducing, the Unicorn Chaser - a drink shot specially formulated to cleanse your mind and soul. Featuring a perfect blend of vitamins, herbs and minerals (each selected for its body purification, mood elevation, stomach calming, and other beneficial qualities), the Unicorn Chaser is a life saver. Chug it within one minute of viewing the offending internet image (really, as fast as possible) and in mere seconds you will begin to feel better. It won't erase your memory, but each Unicorn Chaser will pump you with enough goodness that it just won't matter. You'll be healed. You're welcome.
Think Geek's Unicorn Chaser beverage

David Pescovitz is Boing Boing's co-editor/managing partner. He's also a research director at Institute for the Future. On Instagram, he's @pesco.

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  • David Pescovitz

    Thanks, JENFRAIZ! I’ll try to head off the Nastygram at the postoffice. BB ThinkGeek!

  • NorrinRazael

    Now if only I had a similar tonic for Disappointment Wednesday hijinks.

    http://www.qwantz.com/archive/001439.html

  • Anonymous

    What if the thing you needed to wipe out of your mind was a rule 34 involving unicorns? And say, Paul Hogan?

  • djn

    The swedish lyrics on the Squeeze Bacon are … sneaky. :)

  • J France

    This is the least-lame 01/04 gag I’ve seen so far – I want some!

    The first of april is a shitful day to actually try and enjoy one’s blog reading. Shitful, I say.

  • FreakCitySF

    I would like to make my own unicorn chaser, can we get the bottle manufacturer and perhaps a few files :)

  • Griffin

    The saddest part of April Fools day is always that the products offered are better than any other day of the year! Couldn’t those other, crappier projects be the jokes and the awesome stuff be real?

    I can only hope that someday my dreams of such will come true.

  • malex

    If the Unicorn Chaser did not exist, Man would have to invent it.

    So we need to make an Official Boing Boing cocktail. Something involving vodka and Pedialyte and strawberry whipped cream. Or something not awful, at least.

    Is there a professional bartender in the house?

  • satman

    After seeing unicorn chaser in the title I immediately went to the previous post to see what I needed the chaser for… ( yes I am sick that way)

    Nom Nom Nom …. Righteous.

    LOL

  • abq halsey

    I could not care less about unicorn chaser…it’s all about that SWEET SWEET SLEEPING BAG.

  • Ian70

    I love that “Glitter” is in the ingredients list.

  • David Pescovitz

    ABQ_Halsey @25, I *love* that sleeping bag too. Brilliant.

  • NorrinRazael

    @#s25 & 27 And apparently it might come true!

  • Anonymous

    What I would like is for someone to tell me ingredients/mixing method using basically things an ordinary bartender should have on the shelf, which has the same basic effects as the above drink, which I could use to basically cleanse my soul. I would allow some unusual ingredients or methods, even if I would have to do it on my own and stock one wierd thing. I’d call it Unicorn Chaser and keep it for when my skull feels inflamed and existentially challenged!

  • Sparrowhawk

    Honestly, I really hope this drink and the portal shirts go the way of the 8-bit tie and enter production.

  • MadJeweler

    I want this to be real. Except for the glitter.

  • sonipitts

    @eeyorex

    Thanks, man. Now I have to face the rest of my life with the concept of Goatse Juice in my brain and NO Unicorn Chaser to wash it away with scrubbing sparkles. What kind of monster are you!!!

  • Johnny Cat

    Best. Inside joke. Ever.

  • Takuan

    really?
    http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/drinks/9cce/

  • Brainspore

    Can’t wait to see what becomes of the negotiations with LucasFilm about making a real version of the “Disemboweled Tauntaun” sleeping bag. We’re talking about the company that authorized a Mr. Potato Head modeled after a genocidal cyborg, so how protective of their brand can they be?

  • jackie31337

    @29: I second that! ThinkGeek, are you still reading this? We want our unicorn chasers!

  • mindysan33

    April fools?

  • DukeOGlue

    I’m pretty sure this is part of ThinkGeek’s fake April Fool’s products.
    Or is that the whole point?

    Check out the interactive Portal shirts, as well.

  • Brian

    This is the second thing today that I would have bought just to have on my desk, but was an April Fool’s joke.

    The first was this:

    http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/Mastering-Cat/

  • Takuan

    can the Unicorn Douche be far away?

  • jenfraiz

    @34 yes we’re reading! For now, we’re working on trying to do the sleeping bag for realz, but if the requests start pouring in for a real Unicorn Chaser, we’ll look into that too! I have the prototype sitting here on my desk in all it’s glittery glory and I still love it!

  • nanuq

    Do you need to be a virgin to drink this stuff?

  • takeshi

    Glad it’s April 1st, or I might have needed a unicorn chaser to counterbalance all the irony. Now, where’s the 2 Girls 1 Cup beverage?

  • rhettna

    Why is your attorney going to be in touch? That just seems over the top. Or am I missing something here.

  • jenfraiz

    Aww man. I specifically removed the reference to Cory in the copy, and one of our monkeys who was hopped up on too much Squeez Bacon changed it back. I just fixed it (again!). Please don’t sic your badass attorney on us! We lurve you BB! :) [JenF from ThinkGeek]

  • David

    Gah! Fooled!

    Now I’m let down – deceptively stimulated – and am in even more need of a unicorn chaser.

  • querent

    @ 6

    Takeshi, if you know of what you speak, your soul is the wrong kind of soul. If you do not know of what you speak, your ignorance is the wrong kind of ignorance.

    jk!

  • Doug Nelson

    Since everyone seems to be making fake products today, perhaps someone will come out with a Scents of Humor spray (for those lacking in same).

  • oasisob1

    Watch. the. video.

    The toss of sparkles at the end. wonderful.

  • overunger

    D’OH!!

    I THOUGHT $2.99 was insanely cheap.

    ….you guys…

    you’re a regular riot,Alice, a regular riot!!!

  • Kyon

    Heads up–looks like they’ve already edited their listing to mention Xeni. Well, aren’t they on top of things?

  • mikerbaker

    I’d buy it. But what I really wanted was that tauntaun sleeping bag! http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/tauntaun.html

  • fastmovingblob

    @Jenfraiz Please do make it into an actual product. I would seriously buy a bunch, for personal use as well as for friends (or victims, as they occasionally are).

  • Fred H

    I can’t even imagine how syrupy sweet this would be. My teeth hurt just thinking about it. 1st ingredient: corn syrup, 2nd ingredient: sugar, 3rd ingredient: cotton candy flavorings, etc.

  • modctek

    OK, I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard for an April Fool’s joke ever.

    The product video is pure win.

    TASTE THE SPARKLES!

  • EeyoreX

    Sooo, if the trend is to make beverages out of Xeni’s memes, won’t there be a Goatsie Juice coming our way soon?