Man bites off tip of own penis

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46 Responses to “Man bites off tip of own penis”

  1. nutbastard says:

    Fact: If you bite the head off a penis, the shaft will often run around in circles for up to ten minutes before shutting down for good.

  2. nutbastard says:

    What did the leper say to the prostitute?

    Keep the tip.

  3. nutbastard says:

    Should have had a spoon full of sugar first – that’s a hell of a time to hickup.

  4. Anonymous says:

    You are what you eat…

  5. nutbastard says:

    Alright that’s enough for me, I’ll be here all week, don’t forget to tip your waitress.

    -nuttyb

  6. Anonymous says:

    Ignorance is briss?

  7. Phikus says:

    Maybe it was an attempt to remedy Alien Penis Tip Syndrome, which evangelists have notoriously blamed.

  8. DanielZKlein says:

    Like a bowse!

  9. maoinhibitor says:

    This article definitely needs a Throbbing Gristle Chaser.

  10. Kimrod says:

    Taking a bite out of crime…
    The Dick the strikes back and bites back…

    Cute.

    Just goes to show that sneezing when you’re blowing yourself is not a good idea.

  11. BastardNamban says:

    @ #11-

    Christ man, that’s a terrible joke, I mean, damn. I’ve gotta use that. You are a sick bastard!

    Just like me~

  12. stegodon says:

    Was he caught in the act or did someone call in an anonymous tip?

  13. Dead Robot says:

    I fear these tasteless jokes are just the tip of the iceberg.

  14. nutbastard says:

    @#19

    it’s hardly tasteless.

  15. cha0tic says:

    @ Funeral pudding #44. It probably does taste like Chicken. After all it’s a Cock.

  16. InsertFingerHere says:

    Oh man, that first HINT of teeth in the skin, and I would sit up straight so fast… no way you can do this to yourself.

    But whatever… if you CAN bend that much, and DO work it.. does that make you gay ? Cuz your own hand doesn’t count.

  17. nutbastard says:

    note: #20 is a DOUBLE pun.

  18. dainel says:

    How did the cops know he did it himself? Did he tell them? Did he have a reason to lie?

  19. Takuan says:

    I think what we are all missing here is that this feat was totally unremarkable since the gentleman had in fact a thirty-six inch penis.

  20. izzzzy says:

    he must be the man from nantuckett.

  21. Cupcake Faerie says:

    Maybe he was part of that family act, the Aristocrats…

  22. nutbastard says:

    @#24 Steve Stair

    headline? yeah, that’s where he bit it off. at the headline.

  23. mappo says:

    I agree with #3: he said he did it himself because he didn’t want to get caught at whatever he was really up to.

  24. overunger says:

    Well, he has sanity problems AND he’s a pedophile, – obviously he’s homosexual. Right,Christians? Hunh? Hunh?
    That’s right! And don’t you free thinkin’, evolving nut jobs tell me any diffrn’t!

  25. apoxia says:

    #7

    “… but seriously, I wonder if he didn’t do it on purpose. If he is a convicted pedophile he probably isn’t precisely sane. He also probably hates himself for his pedophilia and perhaps thought if he injured himself in this way, he could prevent himself from harming somebody else”

    I’ve worked with several convicted child sex offenders (and observed dozens more) and almost evey one was sane. Also, many (despite what they said) were waiting out the days when they could return to their crimes. Also, the public’s and media’s definition of pedophilia is very different from how a psychologist would define it. There are many child sex offenders we would classify as opportunistic rapists. Sex with a child alone does not make a person a pedophile.

  26. Anonymous says:

    @32 Takeshi

    Hansen’s disease (leprosy) doesn’t cause degeneration of tissue at all. It causes certain nerves to swell up, lose circulation, and eventually die; the loss of sensitivity to pain allows external factors to cause unnoticed damage to tissue. Without a sense of pain to warn victims, damage accrues, especially in the parts that interface with the world the most.

    We only really started to understand the pathology of Hansen’s disease maybe sixty years ago. I guess the misconceptions and stigma about it from millennia of quarantine are hard to overcome. Look up Dr. Paul Brand for more. It’s quite a story.

  27. Godfree says:

    @Rotwang, #4: That was almost a spit-take. Almost!! Luckily, I swallowed.

  28. takeshi says:

    @ nutbastard:

    I love jokes that are based on misconceptions… even one such as your leper joke. Although to be honest I’ve been hearing that one twice a week since junior high.

    Contrary to popular belief, leprosy does not usually cause body parts to fall off, though advancement of the disease can lead to degeneration of tissues that it does, on rare occasion, happen when left untreated. Nor do lemmings commit mass suicide. At least, not intentionally.

  29. Ugly Canuck says:

    On the plus side, at least he was not driving a motor vehicle when this happened.

  30. Anonymous says:

    This one may not have been so wonderful…

  31. kuanes says:

    Unicorn chaser, please…

  32. Steve Stair says:

    The Fark headline was the best: Man bites off end of own penis. Police found him after receiving an anonymous tip

  33. funeralpudding says:

    I wonder if it tasted like chicken.

  34. Kimrod says:

    I had many a teenage friend who spent far too many summer days wallowing around their bedrooms trying to come up with a way to give head to themselves. A 60s pre-occupation? Beats me!!

    But a few of them were successful and couldn’t wait to tell us they had achieved the unattainable.

    Only to find out their dick tasted like crap…hence us telling them they needed to shower more often and pay more attention to the personal hygiene thing we spoke about…and that it was far easier and more fun to just ask someone else to do it for you.

    The fear of rejection will make you do some twisted stuff!

  35. Anonymous says:

    Paedo biting his own dick off? More likely some rambunctious tween with a mouth full of braces. Maybe they’ll come up with the tip and put him away for another 10 yrs.

  36. Rotwang says:

    What gave the cops the tip-off?

  37. Brainspore says:

    Someone finally found a downside to the super-power that every man secretly wishes he had.

  38. Rickmccl says:

    Asshat with poor impulse control probably didn’t want to tell them how old the real biter was.

  39. Deidzoeb says:

    Maybe cops can judge sanity that quickly in New York. Texas judges said the guy who pulled out his own eye and ate it was sane enough to execute (not qualified for the insanity defense in pulling the hearts out of ex-wife and her two kids).

    For Texan judges or legislators to think he was insane, they’d have to be convinced that he didn’t know right from wrong. (Eye-eater claimed he knew that it was wrong, but he did it anyway because GOD TOLD HIM TO.)

    http://www.boingboing.net/2009/03/20/utterly-nuts-but-san.html

    I love when articles use the phrase “sane enough to execute.” Unfortunately, they’re talking about whether a person is judged sane enough to be executed, not whether a state or society is “sane” when it chooses to execute.

  40. Random_Tangent says:

    Sweet jesus. Who’s dick do we have to bite to get a unicorn chaser around here?

  41. archanoid says:

    I think somebody’s doing it wrong.

    … but seriously, I wonder if he didn’t do it on purpose. If he is a convicted pedophile he probably isn’t precisely sane. He also probably hates himself for his pedophilia and perhaps thought if he injured himself in this way, he could prevent himself from harming somebody else.

  42. nutbastard says:

    Let’s not lose our heads here, guys.

  43. nutbastard says:

    It must have been difficult, for skin is remarkably tough to chew through.

  44. Anonymous says:

    I guess he must have swallowed my unicorn chaser

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