Business cards made from meat


55 Responses to “Business cards made from meat”

  1. dainel says:

    #49 TroofSeeker, the term is vellum.

  2. Wingo says:

    Is this a hoax? I can’t find any ordering information.

    I know, right? I was seriously ready to order these, but it appears it may just be silliness.

    Such a bummer.

  3. Bugs says:

    They need to make a demo set for
    “Soylent Industries: Our business card is people”

  4. Anonymous says:

    I’m not sure I would know what to think when upon meeting someone they reached into their pocket and handed me a chunk of meat. What to do? Stick it in your pocket? I really hope you don’t forget to take it out before doing laundry. Eat it? Did the guy wash his hands after using the bathroom?

  5. IamInnocent says:

    Sorry for multi-commenting but I love connections too much. These cards would be great for this dog walking agency :
    …only if they don’t already, with their peculiar mindset, print their own on toilet paper, a medium which this woman would gladly use to print her competition’s business cards for distribution.

    I am still hoping for this butterfly effected BB post some day.

  6. Tony Moore says:

    brilliant. these guys are guaranteed my business.


  7. Avarice says:

    Pushing my way through all the LOL ITZ MADE OF MEAT THIS IS SO EPIC comments, this really is stupid and ineffective. As another poster said, business cards you save – meat you don’t.

  8. The Lizardman says:

    If someone makes business cards from cheese I will order immediately. Can I get laser etching on those wax coated mini-wheels? Perhaps a meat and cheese business info combo package?

  9. Misty_Moonlight says:

    I’m not sure how useful an edible business card is for people recalling your information when they need it, but what i know for sure, is that other thread about the guy who thinks your business card sucks is really full of the bi-product from this card. Yikes “I’m the alpha male” “I’m not gonna hire you ‘cuz you can’t draw” Graphic designers don’t usually draw.

  10. Nawel says:

    I’m sure some people would love to have these on bacon

  11. vettekaas says:

    mmmmmm various pieces of meat coated in lint from my pocket…….

  12. Uncle_Max says:

    I don’t even have a business I’d need cards for, but the combination of MEAT AND LASERS is pretty damn irresistible.

  13. eclectro says:

    “Mmmmmm glad to meat you Mr. Teriyaki–I mean Mr. Smith.”

  14. Sethum says:

    @takuan, #12

    It’s probably safe to assume someone has tried it… Laser tattoos have already left their mark:

  15. Anonymous says:

    And you can save them all for the day when, unemployed, you need to use them as food.

  16. mdh says:

    That’s an awesome card for a guy who sells lasers that burn words onto business cards.

  17. scothampton says:

    Wow. This puts my meat-catapulting catapult (with sausage wheels no less) to shame.
    Meat and lasers go together better than hipsters and pbr, dreadlocks and lice, or even, dare I say, fat cops and tasers.
    I wonder though if they make a soy-based version for our friendly neighborhood vegetarian businesses.

  18. Takuan says:

    ah ha! interesting… now has anyone ever had a laser implanted into their meat?

  19. Anonymous says:

    business carn

  20. EH says:

    this is an idea i can really sink my teeth into.

  21. IamInnocent says:

    Firm tofu is already pretty much like cardboard if you ask me. No need for a laser either: just have them embroided with hemp.

  22. misshallelujah says:

    I’d love to see how this holds up in tropical weather. Can you say, “roach magnet”?

  23. TroofSeeker says:

    I’ve got Dick Cheney’s card. It seems to be printed on human skin.

  24. Anonymous says:

    The Butcher from Word Girl needs to get his hands on some of these.

  25. Takuan says:

    I wonder…. has anyone had their business card seared onto THEIR meat? Bueller? Bueller?

  26. Spikeles says:

    I’m gonna get a bunch of these, and drive around in my chocolate powered race-car made out of vegetables handing them out.

  27. Antinous / Moderator says:

    I want to see Mister Your-Business-Card-Is-Crap tearing up some poor CSO’s Slim Jim card and talking about his own card made of venison carpaccio.

  28. The Lizardman says:

    I don’t eat meat and I still want these

  29. IWood says:

    150 watts? Fuck that shit.

  30. Anonymous says:

    tasty way to loose your contacts

  31. LOSERKID says:

    MEAT IS #1

  32. reginald says:

    I wonder how Patrick Bateman would react?

  33. Gainclone says:


    I lol’d

  34. Butch Decossas says:

    Things get weirder and weirder. What would be do without internet?

  35. ArkansasProgressive says:

    Still waiting for one made out of Fiberweed…

  36. Anonymous says:

    Ah, yes. meat and lasers. both of which are contained in the first column of the PERIODIC TABLE OF AWESOME.

  37. Anonymous says:

    yes, it’s a great omg-what-if stoner thought, but whoever woke up and gave it a kiss now has to run this stupid company all day long. won’t be a week or two before they wonder wtf they were thinking…though hell, maybe they’re making money. it is just stupid enough to become popular…

  38. aelfscine says:

    If I didn’t know better, I’d think this post was just a flimsy excuse to talk about MEAT and LASERS.

    …not that there’s anything wrong with that. ;)

  39. jessemoya says:

    Is this a hoax? I can’t find any ordering information.

  40. Anonymous says:

    I find it somewhat unfathomable how a business card (which you are supposed to save for contact information) and meat jerky (which you are supposed to eat)go together.

  41. Auto Parts for Brains says:

    Keep these off the PETA guy’s eyes. They will surely have a seizure over this one.

  42. The Unusual Suspect says:

    I admit it: I’m a cardivore.

  43. adonai says:

    I really don’t get the general internet obsession with meat in general (and bacon in particular). I mean, I like meat fine, but…it’s just food. *shrug*

  44. IamInnocent says:

    “…Dick Cheney’s card… seems to be printed on human skin.”

    Ah, Troof, you make it sound so bad:

    it is not like those person were dead now is it?

  45. tuktuk says:

    oh adonai, you poor, poor soul. bacon is no more “just a food” than the sun is “merely a light”.

  46. disco3000 says:

    MY business card isn’t crap….yet.

  47. jackie31337 says:

    Anonymous @19 Ah, yes. meat and lasers. both of which are contained in the first column of the PERIODIC TABLE OF AWESOME.

    Actually, if you look closely, that’s metal in the first column. Meat is in the first row of the far right column.

  48. nanuq says:

    The risk of spoilage would be a drawback. Would this work for beef jerky too?

  49. spt3125 says:

    @#1, nice!
    another obligatory ‘made of meat’ reference:

  50. Anonymous says:

    can i get mine in buffalo jerky? mmmmmm….

  51. eagleapex says:

    Re: spoilage.
    A vacuum sealer is in our meaty business plan. Also “this is not food” stickers.

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