Business cards made from meat


I wonder what the "your business card is crap" guy would have to say about these, because his fancy card has just been pwned by these awesome meat cards.

We start with 100% beef jerky, and SEAR your contact information into it with a 150 WATT CO2 LASER.

Screw die-cutting. Forget about foil, popups, or UV spot lamination. THESE business cards have two ingredients:


Unlike other business cards, MEAT CARDS will retain value after the econopocalypse. Hoard and barter your calorie-rich, life-sustaining cards.

Meat cards


  1. I don’t even have a business I’d need cards for, but the combination of MEAT AND LASERS is pretty damn irresistible.

  2. Wow. This puts my meat-catapulting catapult (with sausage wheels no less) to shame.
    Meat and lasers go together better than hipsters and pbr, dreadlocks and lice, or even, dare I say, fat cops and tasers.
    I wonder though if they make a soy-based version for our friendly neighborhood vegetarian businesses.

  3. Firm tofu is already pretty much like cardboard if you ask me. No need for a laser either: just have them embroided with hemp.

  4. I want to see Mister Your-Business-Card-Is-Crap tearing up some poor CSO’s Slim Jim card and talking about his own card made of venison carpaccio.

  5. yes, it’s a great omg-what-if stoner thought, but whoever woke up and gave it a kiss now has to run this stupid company all day long. won’t be a week or two before they wonder wtf they were thinking…though hell, maybe they’re making money. it is just stupid enough to become popular…

  6. I find it somewhat unfathomable how a business card (which you are supposed to save for contact information) and meat jerky (which you are supposed to eat)go together.

  7. Keep these off the PETA guy’s eyes. They will surely have a seizure over this one.

  8. I really don’t get the general internet obsession with meat in general (and bacon in particular). I mean, I like meat fine, but…it’s just food. *shrug*

  9. oh adonai, you poor, poor soul. bacon is no more “just a food” than the sun is “merely a light”.

  10. Anonymous @19 Ah, yes. meat and lasers. both of which are contained in the first column of the PERIODIC TABLE OF AWESOME.

    Actually, if you look closely, that’s metal in the first column. Meat is in the first row of the far right column.

  11. Re: spoilage.
    A vacuum sealer is in our meaty business plan. Also “this is not food” stickers.

  12. Sorry for multi-commenting but I love connections too much. These cards would be great for this dog walking agency :
    …only if they don’t already, with their peculiar mindset, print their own on toilet paper, a medium which this woman would gladly use to print her competition’s business cards for distribution.

    I am still hoping for this butterfly effected BB post some day.

  13. I’m not sure how useful an edible business card is for people recalling your information when they need it, but what i know for sure, is that other thread about the guy who thinks your business card sucks is really full of the bi-product from this card. Yikes “I’m the alpha male” “I’m not gonna hire you ‘cuz you can’t draw” Graphic designers don’t usually draw.

  14. If I didn’t know better, I’d think this post was just a flimsy excuse to talk about MEAT and LASERS.

    …not that there’s anything wrong with that. ;)

  15. Is this a hoax? I can’t find any ordering information.

    I know, right? I was seriously ready to order these, but it appears it may just be silliness.

    Such a bummer.

  16. If someone makes business cards from cheese I will order immediately. Can I get laser etching on those wax coated mini-wheels? Perhaps a meat and cheese business info combo package?

  17. Pushing my way through all the LOL ITZ MADE OF MEAT THIS IS SO EPIC comments, this really is stupid and ineffective. As another poster said, business cards you save – meat you don’t.

  18. “…Dick Cheney’s card… seems to be printed on human skin.”

    Ah, Troof, you make it sound so bad:

    it is not like those person were dead now is it?

  19. I’m not sure I would know what to think when upon meeting someone they reached into their pocket and handed me a chunk of meat. What to do? Stick it in your pocket? I really hope you don’t forget to take it out before doing laundry. Eat it? Did the guy wash his hands after using the bathroom?

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