How to Capture a Giant Squid

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33 Responses to “How to Capture a Giant Squid”

  1. AAeiouy says:

    They aren’t really the size of a “bus.” The body length is, max, a bit more than 2 meters, and, while that is a lot, I could fit dozens inside a bus because they are skinny. The big lengths are all due to legs. They could overpower a young whale, but the scars on adults are from them eating squids, not the other way round.
    You can see an adult female (and male) at the Smithsonian.

  2. dainel says:

    They might catch more squids if they tie the rope on the whale’s tail, with its head hanging downward.

  3. Anonymous says:

    What about when you get it on board? http://www.monsterssightings.com/sea-monster-sightings/colossal-squid.html Don’t forget about their tentacles that are composed of composed of swiveling, and to some a three-pointed, sharp hooks and suckers with small teeth.

  4. Chris S says:

    #15, buddy66; “Like I’m supposed to believe that in 1878 two men wrestled an ailing fifty-foot squid up a beach and tied him to a tree?”

    A very quick search for Timble Tickle indicates that the story is basically correct, but that your skepticism is warranted.

    Apparently they found it at high tide, and only had to move it a small way to tie it to a tree. Then they just waited for the tide to go out.

  5. Connie H. says:

    One downcheck for the giant squid — it’s inedible, as are many deepwater cephalopods, because it has ammonia in its flesh.

  6. Takuan says:

    we can’t help how we are made.

  7. Bender says:

    I might have to move to Timble Tickle, just so I can have that for a return address.

  8. Anonymous says:

    “From the tip of the its tail to the end of its tentacles,”

    Squid do not have tails.
    What you refer to is called a ‘head’.

  9. buddy66 says:

    Like I’m supposed to believe that in 1878 two men wrestled an ailing fifty-foot squid up a beach and tied him to a tree? Son of a bitch must have weighed a ton. Tell me another one. And don’t even think of a team of horses; I’d rather try to get horses to drag a grizzly bear.

  10. Snig says:

    If you’re only likely to read one giant sqid oriented book this Spring, I’d recommend “The Search for the Giant Sqid”, by Richard Ellis. He goes through known science, history, legit sightings, illegit sightings and pop culture elements. Good beach read.

  11. metro_gnome says:

    Can it be considered “blogging”, though, if all you’re doing is pulling from pre-existing writings? Especially ones that are published and available elsewhere?

    While I agree that Maggie’s posts are cleverly written and enjoyable…it seems that her tenure at bb is devoted to plugging her book.

  12. midknyte says:

    Method 4: Dress a teenage Japanese girl in a sailor suit…

  13. remmelt says:

    It does get annoying after a while. It seems like every other post is about the one book she wrote. Book promotions aren’t bad and a couple of posts highlighting the various topics can’t hurt either, but I think I’ve reached the point where it’s enough.

    Yeah yeah, then don’t read the posts. It’s just a pity, for example compared to the next-to-last guest, Dan Gillmor.

  14. buddy66 says:

    Maggie Koerth-Baker is the only BB guest blogger to sell me a book solely on the basis of her posts. They have so delighted me that if I had the money I would offer to underwrite a blog where she could throw in anything and everthing that interests her. She could call it Be Amazed.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Obligatory Cthulu comment is squidly.

  16. ArnoDick says:

    Man, you try to let people know about your book and suddenly you’re a huge jerk.

    What’s so bad about self-promotion? Is it all right if it’s someone-else-promotion, but not if you’re doing it yourself?

    Woman just wants to make a living.

  17. ArnoDick says:

    PS: Don’t know if you guys have noticed, but BB is basically one big promotion-fest. From the throbbing bristle post, with accompanied banner ad at the top of the page, to Cory mentioning his own books all the time, to the post–which came literally right before this one–about the new Diesel Sweeties book.

    It’s all promotion. Just so happens that some of it comes from the creator, some of it doesn’t.

  18. Takuan says:

    (buncha ungrateful bastids)

  19. wizardofplum says:

    #13 Bender if you have any difficulty in relocating to Timble Tickle you could drop by Dildo on your way to Come by Chance which is a cough and a spit from Joe Batt’s Arm

  20. Takuan says:

    aye, by way o’ Jerry’s Nose and then on Blow-me-Down with a stop at Lushes Bight and right on through Run-by-Guess, an not stoppin’ at Calves Nose, Roight?

  21. Takuan says:

    arrr, tha only sure way to take the Giant Squid be by trolling.

  22. Marcel says:

    Fascinating animals. And equaly fascinating is their arch enemy, the sperm whale.
    Did you know that 1/3s of the sperm whale’s body consists of a, presumably sensory organ of which we still have no clue as to how it functions?!

  23. Anonymous says:

    Thimble Tickle is actually in Newfoundland, and not New Brunswick – but otherwise, the article was a fun read.

  24. scissorfighter says:

    Hey, you know what BB? It’d be really nice to have a guest blogger once in a while who wasn’t bent on endless self-promotion. Maybe we shouldn’t have been so quick to run Charles Platt out of town on a rail… at least he wasn’t trying to make a buck off the gig.

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      scissorfighter,

      What exactly do you find self-promoting about this post? She’s not selling calamari. The links in the top blurb are to her website (some free content, some stuff for sale), her twitter nest (free content) and Mental Floss (mega-shitloads of free content whether or not you subscribe to the magazine.) Is there some alternative internet that doesn’t have any ads, every thing is subscription free and authors don’t tell you about their latest projects? Because if there is, it’s news to me.

      And that’s a low blow about Charles Platt. You know perfectly well that he’s set for life after taking that high-paying WalMart job.

  25. Takuan says:

    is that like a joke? (look over the side)

  26. fnc says:

    You missed method 4.

    Catch a squid when they’re young and nearer the surface. I saw a documentary a few years ago where researchers were searching for young architeuthis, still in the “inches long” and thus presumably more manageable category. It was apparently very hit or miss, as they found very few of the cute little guys. And apparently keeping them alive was a bit of a bother too, as none of their catch survived. It was an intriguing approach to the problem though.

  27. RedShirt77 says:

    I have tried the go have a beer strategy. Very unsuccessful in Minnesota. All I am catching these days is tree pollen.

  28. skatanic says:

    While ScissorFighter puts it rather rudely, i kinda have to agree with his main point. Then again, if bloggers can’t self promote on their blogs where the hell are they supposed to do it?

    That being said, I think Maggie Koerth-Baker is the most enjoyable guest blogger i have seen here in a while. I especially love the illustration for this post.

    So, fuck it. Go ahead and promote yourself or whatever else you want to promote, just keep doing what you’re doing.

  29. jjoensuu says:

    Fascinating animals. And equaly fascinating is their arch enemy, the dumber than a rock human species a.k.a. the pollutor of the oceans and overfisher of its creatures.

  30. Phikus says:

    It would seem to me that complaints about the nature of any post should go in the moderation thread, instead of diverting this one further.

    Midknyte@~18: You kinda already posted my idea, but I was going to say: Dress like a female squid a la Bugs Bunny, just by adding lipstick / big bow on “head” and bat eyelashes.

  31. 13strong says:

    @ SCISSORFIGHTER:

    I’d hardly say she’s “bent on self-promotion”, though it might be nice to see some more of her more general musings.

    That said, I’ve found her the best guest blogger in ages, so I couldn’t give a monkey’s whether she’s using / promoting her book or not.

    What exactly is wrong with self-promotion if it comes with fun and informative writing?

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