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Shatnerquake: bizarro novel about every Shatner character sucked into reality to hunt down William Shatner

Cory Doctorow at 10:41 pm Thu, Apr 30, 2009

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Rose sez, "Shatnerquake is a book by Jeff Burk, available now from independent publisher Eraserhead Press who specializes in publishing bizarro cult fiction."
It's the first ShatnerCon with William Shatner as the guest of honor! But after a failed terrorist attack by Campbellians, a crazy terrorist cult that worships Bruce Campbell, all of the characters ever played by William Shatner are suddenly sucked into our world. Their mission: hunt down and destroy the real William Shatner.
William Shatner? William Shatner. William Shatner!

Buy Shatnerquake

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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  • Anonymous

    what, no William Shatner-as-Alexander the Great?

    http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=16166

  • MarkM

    Im staring at that book cover, squinting, trying to see how that can resemble william shatner. my brain doesn’t recognize that representation.

  • hubbledeej

    Sorta like the plot for White Comanche!

  • Sparrow

    But does it have William F***ing Shatner? (I’m sure I’ll buy it anyway.)

  • thecheat

    I would like to go on record as having bought this . Amazon makes it too easy to impulse buy and I don’t even have 1-click turned on.

    I told my wife about it, she said, “You don’t ever have to worry about me borrowing THAT one.”

    Looking forward to reading this!

  • MichaelRN

    Is there a Priceline Shatner in it, too?

  • Robbo

    Looking forward to the film version.

    Shatner, of course, would love to do it – playing all the parts. Campbell would be in for sure. But it would be even more deliciously awesome if they hired Drew Carey and had Kevin Pollak do the voice.

    Or maybe get Zemekis to direct and do the whole thing in CG – not cuz it would be cool but just so we get those awful pictures of Bill in a blue spandex mocap leotard.

    That was too much.

    I have to go lie down now.

  • Phikus

    …And a GIRL with KALEIDOSCOPE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

  • MichaelRN

    Never mind. Just read the Amazon reviews. Of course there is. Want.

  • Snig

    I’m guessing when one Shatner meets another, the first thing they do is size up each others hairpiece. I wonder if Tim Allen’s character from Galaxy Quest is involved.

  • Anonymous

    No 3rd rock Shatner?

  • Blaine

    Dear GOD, why isn’t there an ebook version of it??

    I should be on the 5th page by now!!

  • Ratdog

    @47

    I’m telling Shatner what you said about him!!

  • Anonymous

    WOW published fan fiction.

  • ZippySpincycle

    Shatner. I’d fight William Shatner.

  • igpajo

    I want my copy signed buy William Shatner!

  • TheRedMax

    This was kind of already done a few years ago in a spoof/advert thing entitled SEVEN which featured T.J. Hooker, Captain Kirk and Rescue 911 Shatner reenacting the final scene from Se7en.

    You can get your fix of multiple shatners here:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZseK_2IVXtU

  • Phikus

    Does it include our favorite Shatner, the chocolaty one?

  • Anonymous

    We MUST hear what Bill has to say about this!

  • Samurai Gratz

    Oh my, that is funny. Kudos to the author and to Eraserhead Press.

  • Anonymous

    Don’t forget Shatner the Chairman from IRON CHEF!!

  • Ratdog

    I’m actually crying it is so beautiful.

  • Anonymous

    I wanna see this same concept with Kevin Bacon.

  • daneyul

    Esperanto Shatner!

    That alone is worth the price of admission.

  • Bemopolis

    This has got to be the stupidest goddam idea for a book that I have seen in a long time. It is, of course, now in my shopping cart.

    I will need GlaxoSmithKline to rush development of a memory-wiping drug so that, once I finish reading it, I will be able to read it again with an identical amount of surprise and delight as the first time.

    I await SHATNERQUAKE AND ZOMBIES.

  • Brainspore

    A better title would have been Shatstorm.

  • Snig

    I’ll only get it if it has $20,000 pyramid Shatner
    http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=27947

  • Anonymous

    Yes, but who is the real Shatner??

    “That guy, is the worst actor ever!“

  • TroofSeeker

    My son is gonna love this! He’s a real Campbellian (last time I looked in his room, yesterday, Bruce was on the TV!) I think he’s a little frightened and confused by Shatner.
    The boys have always known him as Uncle Bill. He only stops by when he needs something- use the phone, couple bucks for gas, or just laying low. He got in a fight with our dog once over a big beef rib bone.
    We would never leave our sons alone in the room with him.

  • iamcantaloupe

    ZippySpinCycle @19: Yes Jack, but how many Shats do you think you can handle at once?

    Also, IRT the “Seven” clip: effing win on the Star Trek door “woosh” sound.

  • Ignatz

    Nanuq, Daneyul: the answer is simple. They would all succumb to the might of the Big Giant Head.

  • nosehat

    Concept: 5 out of 5!
    Execution: Remains to be seen.

  • Darren Garrison

    Likely a load of Shat.

  • EH

    DENNY CRANE!

  • whisper dog

    Malkovich Malkovich?

  • Anonymous

    Denny Crane is already capable of breaking the fourth wall with his cow-given mental powers, what would happen if he were able to move from one fictional universe to another?

  • headfirstonly

    Thanks, Cory – that just resulted in yet another buying spree on Amazon. I’m trying to cut down, but a book that features Bruce Campbell *and* William Shatner is going to end up on my bookshelves eventually.

  • Anonymous

    @21, that clip of Shatawesome was done for the MTV movie awards way back when.

  • Anonymous

    I’m almost afraid to read this book – the concept is so utterly brilliant, it’s almost impossible to live up to. I kind of feel like I should just worship it without actually reading.

    Alas, I can’t do that, I have to find out for myself.

  • Captain Thorgak

    What about a “Prey for the Wilcats” William Shatner? That is the true acid test of the Shatner Geekdom of this novel…

  • CyberspaceCowboy

    I could not help myself. I bought the book.

  • VICTOR JIMENEZ

    OMFG WTF FTW LOL!
    I cant describe how I feel now!
    Shatner and Campbell!!!! ÔÔ

  • Phikus

    Theredmax@21: FTMFW!

  • mattofdoom

    I would have called it “Shatnerproof”

  • nanuq

    Interesting intellectual exercise: If you put James T. Kirk, T.J. Hooker, and Denny Crane in the same room, who would come out alive?

  • jimh

    PICTURE yourself… in a BOAT. On a RIVER!

  • Ratdog

    @29
    I would only like it if they had Kevin Bacon’s character from Tremors.

    On another note:
    I am saddened they have left out a couple of Shatners.

  • Jonathan Badger

    I’m surprised that you’d endorse such a blatant pandering to anti-Campbellian prejudice. We are a peaceful creed and would never resort to terrorism, even to save the world from Shatner’s ego.

  • daneyul

    Hey, it’s not just Crane, Hooker and Kirk:

    “Featuring: Captain Kirk, TJ Hooker, Denny Crane, Rescue 911 Shatner, Singer Shatner, Shakespearean Shatner, Twilight Zone Shatner, Cartoon Kirk, Esperanto Shatner, Priceline Shatner, SNL Shatner, and – of course – William Shatner!”