Kneeling Bench to Prevent Splashing While Peeing

200905111017 The Angel Lap Pillow is made for men to kneel on while they pee to prevent splashing.


  1. pee sitting down.
    -it’s more natural, it’s better for the whole system.
    -there’s also less chance the doc will have to fiddle with your bits later on.
    -your gf will love you for it
    -you can look at porn while sitting there.

  2. #2: Indeed; I’d think that the majority of the force with which the stream impacts its target is from bladder pressure, not acceleration due to gravity.

    #1: As an occasional sit-downer (especially when the call of nature comes from both sides at once), I’m curious as to how posture during urination affects urogenital health. Please elaborate.

  3. #1 said “pee sitting down – it’s more natural.”

    Is peeing standing up for men a natural gender-related thing?

    Or a learned, cultural thing?

    Are there cultures on the planet where the expectation is that men usually sit down to pee?

  4. @1 – Do you have some evidence for the first two claims?

    I’m a sitzpinkler myself. If what you say is true, it’s time for revolution!

  5. Mn hs p’d stndng p snc th dwn f tm.

    Jst nthr ttmpt by wmn t trn ll mn nt wmn.

    Ths s wht’s wrng wth th wrld tdy, ppl!!!

    Th grtst thrt t mnknd – s wmn. W gv thm th rght t vt, nd th wrld hs gn dwn hll vr snc. Lss wr? Np. Wrk wth mn? Np – gnst.

    B MN! Stnd prd nd p!

    NVR trst nythng tht blds fr 5 dys strght nd dsn’t d…

  6. I’m having trouble seeing any benefit to men sitting whilst peeing, in a natural (outdoorsy) setting.

    I can’t see why a man with all the requisite gear, in working order, would not utilise the natural forward-and-away action, instead of having to take steps to avoid marking ones own feet as “territory”.

    What is to be gained by sitting/squatting and having to direct the flow either forward-and-between-the-knees, or downward-and-away-from-feet? Seems far more complex a task, and more prone to disaster, than just standing-and-going freely.

    1. Some men have an asymmetrical urethral meatus. The result is a bifurcated stream which spirals out to the sides. That means either bellying up to a urinal or sitting to piss.

  7. @#2: My thoughts exactly.
    And you’ll want to wipe this new kneeling bench down very regularly, too. Gah.

  8. Wow, CaptainZilog, that’s a pretty nuanced argument. I bet you get all the ladies, and the intelligent ones at that.

  9. It’s learned. Some womyn pee standing up. However, our society expects womyn to pee sitting down, and men to pee standing up.

  10. Yes, I am going to carry this around with me everywhere I go so that I can kneel more comfortably in public restrooms.

  11. My only thought to this is: How does one pee while in a suit of full plate while using this?

  12. I’ve been peeing in the sink for years. No bending or innovative inventions required.

  13. Did anyone ever consider the possibility of the toiletseat accidentally falling down?

    You know what?! Actually, I think they have.

  14. @13:

    first: ew.

    second: I’m guessing you mean no innovations aside from the sink and indoor plumbing?

  15. Oh for heaven’s sake. All these black and white opinions. No shades of gray.

    If you’re at a stand up urinal or if you’re in the woods, by all means stand up. If you’re in the typical home then sit the hell down, take a load off for a sec, and make the woman of the house happy.

    If you like, you can keep your ball cap on. No one will throw you out of the He-Man Woman Haters Club.

  16. Like seriously, just sit the fuck down if you are worried about splashes. I I use a toilet that I personally clean or is shared with women, I sit down. My dick hasn’t fallen off yet.

  17. The thing doesn’t do anything for your balance!
    It needs some sort of frame/forehead rest cushion or something to lean into and hold yourself up after too many drinks.
    I used to have a 1/2 bath underneath a set of stairs in my old apartment. That sloping roof was great for leaning your head into and keeping yourself on your feet.

  18. Ever since I started cleaning my own bathroom floor, I sit down, in my own house and others’ homes. Public urinal, outdoors, standing’s fine, but otherwise, it’s not only neat but polite too.

  19. In the illustration above, the two gentlemen appear to have pee emitting from their faces. Not sure the toilet-shaped kneeling pads will help with that.

  20. Well, this invention is useless. It does nothing for the biggest pitfall of peeing while standing: the simple fact that we guys aren’t sporting a metal garden-hose nozzle down there. Leads to all sorts of woe, where you aim one direction but end up with a stream at a weird angle, or 2 different directions…

  21. I always have a water bottle with me. Drink the water. Pee in the bottle. Empty in sink and refill. How hard is that?

    The solids that settle out and cling to the bottle are micro-nutrients and elements that fight cancer. My method even lets you monitor how much liquid is lost through evaporation.

    It also lets me pee at my desk.

  22. I actually find it more difficult to get a good steady stream when I’m sitting down. It takes longer and requires pulling down my pants. It’s much easier to stand. I don’t care about splashing. If I get too much on the floor, I wipe it up. I clean my own toilet. Sometimes it goes everywhere (it happens to all guys). I just deal with it and clean my bathroom when it’s nasty.

  23. @1: Porn and peeing? You really think that will end up being anything other than 1) painful or 2) messy?

  24. Of course you’ll get splashes when you piss right into the water.

    Just aim a bit and follow a curve of the bowl with your stream and you’ll avoid splashing even when standing up.

  25. #29 “I actually find it more difficult to get a good steady stream when I’m sitting down.”

    It’s also very hard to write your name in the snow.

  26. #20 – Yes yes yes.

    On a side note, we have a magical urinal at work that splashes back 90% of the pee that goes into it, no matter what angle you attack it from. By the end of the day there is a huge puddle on the floor in front of it. It is evil.

  27. I think there is time now for some advanced education. There has been a thorough evaluation of the subject here… (including illustrations)

  28. I personally like to close my eyes, spin around a few times, and pee by echo-location.

    @1 though: Actually, I doubt it’s healthier for men to pee sitting down. I doubt it makes much of a difference at all, but as I understand it humans are primarily evolved for standing and squatting and lounging around. Sitting is bad for your back, and sitting on the toilet too much gives you hemorrhoids. If anyone has any evidence for the claims in #1, I’d like to see it.

  29. Peeing standing up is in fact a cultural tweak, not some sort of instinctive male drive. I have an acquaintance currently working in Afganistan; the locals consider the Americans filthy animals for peeing standing up.

    I think the roughly 2/3rds of the world that use squat toilets instead of porcelain thrones are squat-to-pee cultures.

    For all the guys out there who are convinced you’ll pee on your feet if you squat out-doors to pee, I have two questions for you:

    1) Does squatting somehow magically make you unable to point your dick, where standing somehow leaves it free and agile?

    2) Women don’t pee on their feet when squatting to pee in the bushes so what the heck is your problem?

    Not peeing on your feet is probably as much of a taught skill, just as managing to pee (mostly) in the toilet needs to be taught to little boys.

    I’d brag about how women don’t miss the toilet as much, but I’ve seen the aftermath of enough squeemish women who apparently think they’ll get Teh Aids if they sit on a public toilet to know otherwise. Women doing the hover-tinkle routine seem to have the same accuracy as men doing the stand-and-piss.

    Funny story:
    When I took Taequondo as a teenager, I was one of two girls in a class of 20. Early in the course, the founder of the school came storming out into the classroom and halted the lesson. He was a tiny middle-aged Korean man and generally a total sweetie, but that day he was totally furious. He ordered all the male students to come follow him, and told us girls that we could take a breather. All the guys march off after Mr. Lee, down the hallway towards the mens room.

    While me and my fellow female rest and do some stretches, we can hear Mr. Lee HOWLING at the guys about how a martial artist needs ACCURACY and how this disgusting mess is not ACCURACY and how he couldn’t imagine how they got to be this old without developing some ACCURACY.

  30. actually a lot of women DO pee on their feet in the bushes…or on the back of the pants. Could have something to do with the only time many women do this is when they have been drinking.

    once on a trip to myrtle beach my aunt peed into her shoes so much by the side of the road that we had to stop in the next town for new cheap tennis shoes. she hadn’t been drinking though.

  31. I happen to think it’s faulty toilet design that causes a lot of splashback problems. Can anyone even design a toilet that doesn’t give splashback from a #2, not to mention a #1? Has anyone who studies fluid dynamics ever used a toilet? Toilets should be designed so that any incoming stream is sharply angled AWAY from the source, like a funnel or a tube, but so many urinals are like flat walls or puddles of knee-high piss. And bowls should be bigger. Some have much less splashback than others and I think it has to do with water depth and the angle of the ceramic underneath the surface.

  32. This isn’t as unusual as it sounds. Maybe it’s a Japanese thing…

    I discussed this once with a Japanese man who says he always pees sitting down, so as not to splash the toilet.

    He went so far as to argue that any man who pisses standing up is rude and selfish!

  33. “[S]itting on the toilet too much gives you hemorrhoids.”

    Really? I’d like evidence for this claim as well.

  34. I’ve never seen anything to back up the idea that sitting down is healthier but it is defintely a pervasive rumor. I have had it quoted at me by friends and relatives in medicine (who then conveniently can’t remember a reference source) and a friend on tour with me who got kidney stones on the road (a special kind of hell) was told the same by a doctor who treated him but again with no referential support.

  35. I wear adult diapers, all day, every day. I’m going to go stand on my head and pee now.

  36. Serious business.

    I pee standing up but I make sure to clean up after myself if there is a need to do so. Others in my house don’t, and it’s disgusting. Hell, I even wipe down the seat almost every time I sit down. And you know what, sometimes I manage to somehow get pee on the rim of the bowl while sitting down, even though I’m pretty sure I’ve aimed properly.

    Also, perhaps I’m just a fatass, or maybe I sit a little funny on the toilet, or perhaps our current toilet seat is simply too small, but I have a bit of a hard time postioning the dangly bits properly for comfort and effectiveness when sitting for a number 3. Combined with years of stand2pee conditioning, I’m unsure if the usual method is to (literally) manually aim the stream while sitting down, as there isn’t much room for another appendage in the gap between me and the front part of the seat, and what I tend to do is let the object in question rest naturally against the front of the seat to aim it downward. We used to have another toilet with much more forward room that was a delight, as I didn’t have to force thoughts of my family and me touching crotches by proxy out of my head.

    That’s way too much about my private habits to be shared on the internet, but I hope it disgusted/amused/informed/otherwise enlightened.

    Also #1: If you’re peeing long enough to really consider looking at porn then you need to stop holding back pee all day. Also, this part of the argument fails when one considers that you could hang an appropriate calendar above the toilet tank.

    On a related note, I flush when I pee; I do not subscribe to the “if it’s yellow, let it mellow” philosophy.

  37. #41: Drunken peeing is probably challenging for both sexes. Squatting could make at least balancing while peeing blind drunk easier for women than men – the wider hips do a lot to change our center of gravity.

    Drag a girl camping in the woods for 2 weeks with girl guides, and she’ll probably be taught how not to pee on her feet very quickly.

    Pants are a bigger issue for women pee-squatting than men, I’ll be the first to admit that. It helps to be wearing baggish shorts that you just pull down to your knees, so they’re actually above and in front of the water works, and therefore out of the way. Or wear a skirt and do the same with your underwear.

  38. Men pee standing up because they can’t be bothered to sit down. Why would they kneel down instead? Given the choice between sitting and kneeling, no one is going to choose kneeling.

  39. I sometimes sit, but if I’m in a hurry, nope. My main problem seems to be not so much splash back as the fact that even at a full torrent I still manage to drip drip drip straight down as well. Annoying.
    Thank goodness for clorox bleach wipes…

    One nice thing about having a fenced in back yard though is you can freely take your morning pee undeterred by “morning wood”…ahhhh, yes, them “Golden Arches” in the morning… ;-D

  40. I pee in the shower. Yes, your shower too. Everyone’s shower.
    Sitting down is making my legs fall asleep.
    And is implausible with morning wood.
    I will not kneel and pee. It is counter intuitive.

  41. Am I the only one who prefers sitting down not for neatness, but for comfort?

    I hate standing up to release fluids, given the choice I would always sit down, provided the seat is clean.

    Standing up is loud, messy and not as relaxed as sitting (in my opinion, that is).

  42. I find it’s a lot easier to get a nice flow going standing than sitting. As long as one doesn’t splash around the bowl, or cleans up if one does, then what’s the point in sitting?

  43. In my own home or other contexts where I know the floor is clean, I often kneel. It does prevent splash-back, and it’s faster than sitting (only requires unzipping the fly instead of fiddling with belt and buttons).

    No pillow required, but then I’m a gaijin who is tall enough to reach over the edge.

  44. I don’t know if there are any health benefits to peeing sitting down, but I do know that you can avoid a medical problem by doing so.

    Some people have problems with fainting after urination due to a sudden drop in blood pressure. It mostly affects older men, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there are younger people who deal with it, too. Sudden fainting can result in some serious head injuries; sitting down to pee would help avoid that risk.

  45. You know- sit, stand, leave the seat up, leave the seat down- it doesn’t really matter to us women. What matters to us is that however you leave the seat, you leave it *clean.* Because sitting in the sprinkle of your beloved’s urine isn’t a turn on for most of us. Oh, and neither is looking down to see our shoelaces soaking it up off the floor.

  46. Thecaptainzilog’s post is incredibly sexist, not to mention trite and hackneyed. Is that shit considered acceptable here?

  47. First of all this will be impossible for any men with artificial knees or hips – too hard or painful for them to kneel. 2) splashback is from faulty toilet designs (stream hitting flat surface), 3) older men with prostrate hypertrophy often drizzle/drop make a mess, and they’ll pee on the kneeler.
    Redesign mens tolets with a part you straddle to catch downward drops, and 2) have a steeply sloped target surface to minimize back splatter. SHould be easy to design.

  48. Rathia, you should click the eyeball, next to Captain’s post, so the mods know you want it looked at.

    This can also be used to highlight good comments, which might be included in the main post, or get a whole post of their own.

  49. LOL!!!

    At what point will people mind their own business? Obviously, if not at our natural body functions, there are those who will never know the line between the private and public. The implications are chilling.

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