Sell Your Gold Teeth

Need cash? Got a gold grill taking up unnecessary space in your mouth? is a single-page site representing a buyer of teeth, caps, and crowns. (Thanks, Syd Garon and Greg Long!)


  1. You’ll have to pry the gold from my cold, dead teeth. Gold restorations are the best. They last longer than porcelain and they make a nice, soft grinding surface.

  2. Gold? What use is gold. You need silver teeth. It’s you last ditch defense against the lycanthropic hordes.

  3. Too much bling on your ding-a-ling?

    Can’t pay the bill for your grill?

    Come on down to

    We promise the best dollar for your donger-elonger!

  4. Wow- they’ll actually buy extracted teeth with no gold or metal in them? That’s gross.

  5. If I’m going to sell my gold teeth, I’ll take them to a jeweler to have them appraised first.

  6. Figures, is already taken but it’s a placeholder/ugly site. :(

    Coinci-dental Captcha: phallus own

  7. All I see is the arsehole who owns these and the dissected upper lip he’s getting after being punched in the puss.

  8. All I can think of is sacks of sparkling teeth in Nazi death camps… But then again, I tend to have the same issue with shoe drives…

  9. Just like Cash4Gold, except the postage-paid envelope comes with a fifth of whiskey and a pair of pliers.

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